A Living Lie
by A-Shug-K
Summary: AU/ This story is inspired by "She's the man' which is like the best movie ever. Santana finds herself willing to change her identity only to be able to play the game she loves. But what happens when people start falling for her, as a dude? Feat. Pezberry, Quinntana. BRITTANA!
1. Chapter 1

A living lie - Chapter One

* * *

I smash the door as hard as I can and it causes the pictures of me and my brothers, which are hanging above the white fireplace, to vibrate. I freeze in fear that they might fall, but they don't. I let my hand rest on the door handle for a moment - then I drop it to my side and start walking towards the kitchen.

My mom is standing by the sink, still in her dressing- gown, but I don't pay any attention to that detail; I'm used to it.

Ever since my father died, my mother has been that way. She doesn't really care for time, which means that she can't keep a job and that to people who don't know her; she seems a bit... lost. That's why my older brother Ritchie still lives at home with us. So that he can provide for us and pay for stuff that she can't afford. Sometimes I just wish that he would have gotten out of here when he could, like my twin- brother, Hugo. But Ritchie is too kind; he would never just leave us, and most of the time that works to his disadvantage.

* * *

As I enter the kitchen I realize two things: One – my mom is still standing in the very same spot as she stood when I left her this morning and two – she's still looking out the window with an unreadable expression. When she does things like this – shuts reality off and enter some kind of unbreakable bubble – she scares me. I never figured out how to approach her when she is like this. Should I act like everything is normal? Should I confront her? Or should I force her to see someone?

Ritchie tried getting her to see a shrink once, but she refused. She didn't want people to think that she was out of her mind, but seeing how people look at her now, I reckon it would have been better if she had gone to that shrink when Ritchie told her to.

As if she was sensing that I was thinking about this, she let her soulless eyes meet mine through the reflection in the window. I hold her gaze for a moment before I discreetly cough and tighten my ponytail. I put my trunk down on one of the chairs and walk over to the fridge – not because I'm hungry – but because I can feel that she is still looking at me and it makes me feel queasy.

My mother tightens her robe before she turns around and gives me a small emotionless smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Hey, honey, how was school?" She asks me as she starts fiddling with something on the counter. I look at her in disbelief for a moment before I give her an "It was fine," as an answer and close the fridge door.

Mom and I have never been much for making small talk with each other, considering I was always daddy's girl, didn't exactly help us when he passed away. That just caused the gap between us to grow. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I just had to come out as a lesbian, causing her to resent me even more.

It's not that my mother hates me; it's more because of the fact that she has two sons and only one daughter – who turned out to be gay. She doesn't hate me – she'd just rather not talk to me…in case I bring up the topic that is 'girls'. My mother is yet to get comfortable with the idea, but I think she is getting there.

The rest of my family is totally OK with it, so you don't have to pity me.

I can feel that my mother's eyes are still burning into the side of my face so I turn around and give her a small smile. She frowns at me before she shakes her head and combs her fingers through her black and greyish hair.

"If you are fine, then why did you smash the door so hard?" She asks me with a quizzical expression upon her face. You have to give her some credit; for being so lost, she sure is observant.

"I – I, ugh it's nothing – don't worry mom." I say as I start walking toward the chair, where I left my trunk, but when I walk past her she grabs a hold on my wrist and it surprises me. It was such a long time ago since she touched me and I had started to believe that she never would do it again. But here she is holding on to my wrist and giving me an understanding smile. What was that for?

"The principal called." She states in a calm voice as she lets go of my hand. She takes a step away from me and motions to one of the chairs. I sit down and place my hands on the white wooded table. Whatever the principal had to say must have been a lie – I haven't caused any trouble today, or yesterday, or any day of this week for that matter. At least… not that I can think of.

"What – what did he have to – to say, mom?" I stammer out and bite my lip and after a while I can taste the taste of blood so I stop biting. I guess my lip hadn't healed since the last time I did that.

"Just that the coach shut down the girls' football team and that you acted out…" She starts but pauses to sit down on the chair opposite of me. "He said that – and I quote – 'Santana is a very hot – headed girl and when the coach told her and the rest of the team about her early retirement and about the fact that there is no other coach willing to coach them, she called her a misogynistic son- of- a- bitch- betrayer.' He also said that you told her to 'go fuck yourself' and then that you supposedly kicked the bag of equipment across the field and stormed off…" She says and slouches back in her seat. She lifts her eyebrows as if to say 'explain why'. So I do.

I start by telling her how coach Sylvester has been lacking engagement in the game this year and that she is in fact letting us down when she quits. She had made a promise to the team that we would win this season's game – but then she goes through an early retirement. If that's not betrayal, I don't know what is. Especially since she obviously knows how much this game means to me and my teammates and how much her leave will affect us. I know that Mercedes was counting on a scholarship and that Tina dropped out of the 'Spelling bees' so that she could fully focus on the game. And me, well, football is everything I have ever really cared about. I only feel like me when I'm on that field, playing.

I look up at my mom and she shakes her head at me.

"And you couldn't find any other way to say that? You had to go to the screaming place? And kicking the equipment? That is not like you –"My mother starts but she stops talking when I stand up from my seat and throws my bag over my shoulder.

"I was mad! I freaked out, OK?"I yell at her and cross my arms. "Why don't you see how important this is to me?"

"I do see that, Santana, but acting out on your coach… that is unacceptable." She says and I can feel the disappointment oozing out of her as she speaks.

"What do you want me to say?" I hiss at her and zip up my red hoodie so that it reaches my chin. "Do you expect me to just sit by and watch as my entire life is being ripped away from me?"

If it's one thing I know about my mother, it's that she is extremely unpredictable and that it is nearly impossible to predict her actions – but what she says next, still shock me.

"I don't expect you to ever say anything to that coach ever again." She says with a smug smile that causes me to shiver. What, did she kill her? I look at her with wide eyes that beg her to explain. She sighs and walks over to the counter where she stood earlier. She picks up the thing she had been fiddling with and hands it to me. It's a brochure.

'_McKinley High' _is the headline and I immediately recognize the name. I put the paper down on the table and tap my finger on it for a while, trying to remember why the name sounds so familiar, before I look at mother.

"Isn't this the school where Hugo goes?" I ask and my mother gives me a small nod. "Why do you show me this?"

"Well, not only considering that you are causing an awfully lot of trouble at school, perhaps you have noticed, that I'm also getting very tired of receiving phone- calls from your principal. That's why I have decided that you'll go to this boarding school." She says and when she sees that I'm about to protest, she holds a finger out in front of me and deliberates. "I remember how Hugo used to be before he went off. He was exactly like you…always causing trouble, but now, I haven't received a _single_ phone- call from this school. "She continues as she points at the brochure. "This school is some kind of miracle worker."

"You think I'm in need of a miracle?" I ask her and huff.

"Everyone needs a miracle… at least I do." She answers and places one of her hands on my arm. "I only want what is best for you."

I take a step away from her and chuckled a little – not because what she said was funny – but because she has got it all wrong.

"Mom, this won't help me!" I let out and shake my head in disbelief. "This school doesn't have a girls' team either – Plus, there I would be all alone. I need football in my life, but I need Tina and Mercedes even more!"

My mother picks up and neatly folds the brochure into a small square.

"This is not a discussion…"She starts and I bite my lip so hard that I can taste blood again. My fists are clenched and I feel like I could explode. Wanting what's best for me, yeah right! "You kids make new friends in no time." She adds as she takes one of my clenched fists, opens it, and places the folded brochure in my hand.

"Mom, I'm not a kid! I suck at making friends – that's why I'm still single!" I exclaim and throw the brochure back at her in anger. I can see that she is about to make a comment on my outburst, but decides against it. Instead she gives me a small smile and gently squeezed my shoulder before she starts walking towards the door. Before she exits, she turns around and looks at me for a moment. "Ritchie will drive you tomorrow after school." She says and then she's gone.

* * *

I remain in the kitchen for a while before I head up to my room and throw myself on my bed. My mother has got it all wrong. The reason Hugo's principal hasn't called isn't because he behaves so well in school, it's because he's _not even there._ I would know; I was the one calling the principal, pretending to be my mother, telling him that I changed my mind and that my son would stay enrolled in public school. The principal bought it and my brother went off to New York, trying to pursue his dream as a musician. He works at Starbucks and shares an apartment with two drug- dealers. But Hugo says that they are still pretty cool and that he never tried using drugs himself… he says he is lucky to live with them because he doesn't have to pay any rent.

The problem is that my mother thinks that he is working his petit ass off in Ohio…

I dry a couple of tears that managed to escape my eyes, even though I tried really hard not to cry, with the corner of my pillow. It leaves a smeared stain of mascara on the white fabric and I try removing it with my finger, but I end up smearing it even more. I groan in frustration and roll over so that I am lying on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

I could do it again, I think. I could pretend to be my mother and tell the principal that there has been a change of plans. I really consider this for a moment. I even plan what to tell him. But then I remember that I would have nowhere to go and that that wouldn't exactly benefit my situation. I am still seventeen years old so I wouldn't last long without my mother or her signature. You probably thought I was going to say guidance or protection, but I have managed without that for three years now. I can't run away like Hugo did. It wouldn't work for me.

I lie in bed for yet another moment and think. Staying here in Philadelphia obviously isn't an option and I can't go anywhere else except for Ohio. I might as well find myself enrolled in that stupid boarding school. It's just a year left – and I could manage a year.

I had been thinking for a while when a funny thought suddenly hit me. What if I pretend to be Hugo? I could try out for the boys' team, I would probably get in – I'm that good. It would be very easy to pretend to be him, considering we are twins and therefore are born on the same date.

I sit up in bed and lick my lips. This is the perfect plan, I think as a cunning smile forms on my lips. It's flawless.

* * *

I enter school with a big smile upon my smile and walk until I find both Tina and Mercedes standing by their lockers, looking rather defeated. I excitedly greet them and they look at me like I have gone mad. Maybe I have…

"What are you so happy about?" Mercedes asks as she shut her locker door and smacks her lips, which she had just applied some lip-gloss on. Tina eyes me up and down before she huffs and turns towards her locker to collect some books.

"My mother is forcing me to switch schools!" I beam and suck in my lips in my mouth before I rearrange the bag across my shoulders and taps on Tina's back to get her attention. Mercedes crosses her arms and gives me a confused look while Tina just stares at me bluntly. "It's a boarding school in Ohio," I start and can barely contain myself. "The school doesn't have a girls' football team at all!"

Mercedes and Tina shares a confused expression before Mercedes puts up her finger in front of her face, closes her eyes and smiles a bit. She opens her eyes again and places the finger on my chest, and then she gently shoves me away.

"Hell to the no!" She chuckles. "I know what you are planning to do, girl, and I don't like it."

I smile a bit and look at Tina, who is still frowning. I guess she isn't as fast to catch on to what I'm thinking. Which isn't weird considering I only got to know her last year, while Mercedes and I go way back.

"I have a fabulous plan," I say to Tina. "There's no girls' team – but there is a guys' team."

Mercedes shakes her head and scoffs and I turn to look at her instead.

"What are you going to do about those?" Mercedes asks as she points to my breasts.

"What about them?" Tina asks. I guess she still doesn't fully understand what is truly about to happen.

Instead of answering Mercedes question – I simply open my bag and pulls out a roll of bandage.

"Oh – no." Mercedes says as she shakes her head.

"Oh – yes." I reply before I put it back in my bag again.

"It won't work. Like, what are you going to do about this?" Mercedes asks as she takes a handful of my long dark hair into her fist. "You are not gonna cut it off, are you?" I bite my lip and shrugs. "Oh my god you are! Santana! I will not let you cut your hair off. Is it worth it? For what, football, is that what you think?"

I shrug again and turn to Tina, whose expression tells me that she finally understands what we are talking about.

"This might be my only shot…" I say and comb my fingers through my hair. "It will grow back… "

Mercedes looks at Tina for a while before she grabs my elbow and stares at me intently.

"Look, we support you if this is really what you want to do but I have to be honest – this is only going to lead to trouble."

"It won't make any different…I'm always in trouble."

"But this is not 'talking during practice' - trouble, this is real trouble and it could get bad."

I am about to tell her that I don't care, but the school –bell cuts me off and Mercedes and Tina scurry away to get to class.

* * *

I squeeze my bag tighter to myself and nod before I walk over to the principal's office. He tells me that I will be missed and that he hopes that I will have a great time at the new schools. When he talks all I can think is: Lies, lies, lies and lies. He doesn't care about me. Mr. Figgings doesn't care about any of his students – he only cares about his paycheck and that's a fact. Still, I smile when I'm supposed to smile and giggle when I'm supposed to giggle and I even shake his hand before I leave.

After my brief conversation with the principal I make my way over to my locker. I've had the same locker since the first day I got here and that's the same locker Ritchie used to have. So saying goodbye to that is one of the hardest things about leaving this school. Apart of me wishes that I could stay here longer – forever – but there's a confliction, because another part of me wishes to get the hell out of here, before I'm stuck forever. The corridor is close to empty so I feel a bit out of place standing by my locker all by myself.

I already handed back all the school – literature to the principal so all the stuff in my locker is mine. I gently remove the picture of my football team from the door of my locker and place it in my bag. I also collect my pens, notebooks and other pictures and I throw them in my bag together with the rest of my stuff. When I'm finished, the only things remaining are some pieces of paper and dust that I don't bother to care about.

When I make my way towards the football field, to walk on the grass one last time, I see my coach, _ex-coach_, sitting on one of the terraces and I can't help but feel embarrassed about the way I acted yesterday. I abandon my bag and idea of walking on the grass, only to go and talk to her instead. She smiles sadly when she sees me and dries what I can only imagine to be a tear, from her cheek and pats the spot next to her. I awkwardly sit down beside her and place my hands between my knees. It is so cold outside that when I breathe I can see my own breath. When I was younger I used to pretend that the steam was smoke and that I was smoking. But I have grown up a lot since then.

Sue Sylvester had been the coach for this school's girls' team for 37 years – that's a lifetime of coaching so my reaction to her quitting might have been a bit harsh. I mean, the woman has practically dedicated her life to us kids and this is how we thank her? We tell her that she betrayed us and we stop looking her way in the corridors… What we really should be doing is celebrating her. Sure, she is not the kindest woman and sure, I don't really like her – but I do respect her and I know that the rest of my team does that as well. I open my mouth to say something but she beats to that point and I can only prepare for what I think I'm about to hear. Will she scold me for acting so immature yesterday? That's what I think she will do – but she doesn't.

Instead she tells me about how she first got into coaching and why she kept coaching.

"I could have been an awesome player myself," She says as she looks at me with a small smile. "But I injured my knee and I refused physical therapy."

"Why did you do that?" I ask and frown.

"Because I was scared that I wasn't good enough and instead of failing… I just figured it was better to – to have a reason to stop playing, so that I wouldn't have to fail in front of the whole word." She tells me this with a sad smile and she clasps her hands together and blows some hot air into them. "My injury could have been fixed, easily. But I told all my friends and family that I was beyond help."

I think about this for a moment and I realize that I would never be able to do that, I like this game too much.

"How did you go on without playing?" I ask her and I'm actually curious for what she has to say.

"I didn't," She says and I give her a confused expression. Didn't she tell me that she stopped playing? I think that she realizes that I don't really follow her so she places her elbows on her lap and leans forward and explain. Sue sure knows how to sit like a woman; I think and bite the inside of my cheek so that I don't burst out laughing.

"That's why I'm here…"Sue says as she lifts her arms up in the air and mentions for the entire arena. "…I became a coach- see, the game never left me."

I nod understandingly and take a deep breath. She might not know it, but it's my last day here too.

"I came here to say that I'm so-"I start but Sue interrupts me before I get a chance to finish.

"Apologies are for losers!" She says in her typical mean-Sue attitude. How wrong was I for thinking that we were having some sort of moment here? I let out a small laugh and turn to look at her. "Didn't I teach you that? Have you learnt nothing?"

"Oh, Coach, how I will miss you." I say honestly and I think I can see a small spark of something in her eyes, but before I can be sure, she turns away and faces the field again.

"Well, Speedy, I think that Sue Sylvester can honestly announce that she will miss you and your teammates too." She says after a while and stands up. She is about to leave but then turn to me again, one last time. "Mini Queen Beckham, I really hope that I won't see your name on the list of coaches in the country of America. Ever, is that clear?" I give her a nod and then she leaves. I watch her walk over the football field and into her office that is placed right beside the entrance. I ponder what she said to me and after a while, I feel a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. _Mini Queen Beckham…_ That was a compliment. Sue Sylvester complimented me.

* * *

Because of the very short encounter I shared with my two best friends this morning, I feel that I haven't told them goodbye properly. So when I come home from school I immediately text them to come over and then I sneak into Hugo's old room and pack a bag full of his old clothes.

It was super easy to fool the school board because they didn't find it weird that Hugo wanted to start there midterm, especially since he had been enrolled there before. So his name and record is already in their system. All I had to do was change the name, from Santana to Hugo. Now, the only problem I'm facing is actually to fool everybody that I'm a guy. I've got the 'checking out girls' – part down, but I still have my voice, appearance and attitude left.

After packing my bag I walk over to sit in front of my mirror. I lift my hair up on my head, so that it looks like it is really short. I don't look that bad… But I still have very feminine puffy lips; they might ruin everything for me. Sure, guys can have big lips too, but this is ridiculous. I sigh and let my hair fall back into its place. I think that I just have to act very manly and people will look past my lips. Hugo looks almost the same as I do – and nobody has ever questioned his manliness.

I stand up from where I'm seated just as a car horn honks so I walk over to my window and moves the blinds away so that I can see the driveway. Tina and Mercedes exit the car in unison and I can see them walking towards the door. Three seconds later, the doorbell goes off and I hear how Ritchie opens the door. He tells them that I am upstairs and a moment later, they step into my room.

Mercedes holds out the electric razor and a pair of scissors in front of her. Tina follows suit by opening her jacket and pulling out a bag of other necessities.

"What's in the bag?" I ask her as she puts the item down on my bed and smiles.

"Well, you said you wanted to be a guy, and my job as a friend is to support you, so check this out-"Tina says as she opens the bag and pulls out a package of deodorant and perfume. "- You can't walk around smelling like a girl-" She says as she hands me the objects. "- And here, brand new underwear… for guys". She hands me those too and I have to smile for her consideration.

"Wow," I say as I place all that she handed to me on my bed. "Thank you, Tina…I hope you do realize that I don't really want to be a guy, I just want to play football."

Tina nods and sits down on the edge of my bed so I turn to Mercedes who is still standing in the doorway.

"I don't know, Santana." She says while looking at the items in her hands. "This seems really stupid to me."

I take her hand and guide her over to my mirror where I then sit down. I comb my fingers through my hair one last time and then I lock eyes with Mercedes through the mirror reflection.

"Sure you can't just wear a wig?" She asks and I take a deep breath and shake my head. It has to look real. Wearing a wig is too risky.

"Just do it." I say and close my eyes. I can hear that Mercedes starts to cut, but I can't feel it. The strands of hair that falls against my back tickles me so I have to really concentrate on sitting still.

"How short do you want it?" Mercedes asks after a while.

"Um…Not too short, I want to be able to whip it…"I say with a nervous tone. My eyes are still shut and I have put absolutely all my faith in Mercedes. I know that she is good with a scissor because she cuts her own hair and it looks amazing.

"Can you give me something better to go on? I need a picture…because right now you look like Harry Potter when he had long hair." Mercedes says and it causes Tina to giggle.

"It does, it really, really does!" Tina giggles and the grip I have on my seat tightens.

"That's not something I enjoy hearing!" I exclaim, but it doesn't stop them from laughing. "Okay, let me think…"

"Think faster, you have to leave in an hour." Mercedes says and I place my hands on either side of my face. I tap my index fingers to my temples and try to think of something.

After a while I remember the picture of Mike Chang from the yearbook and decides that the hairstyle he had there was pretty hot. He is a football player too, but in the guys' team of course. I tell Mercedes and she hums approvingly.

"That's awesome!" Tina says and both me and Mercedes smiles knowingly because we know she has had a crush on him forever. "It's short but not too short. You can still style it to look hot or leave it as it is…it will still look hot."

Mercedes finishes and after a few deep breathes I dare to open my eyes and face the new me. We all sit in silence for a while as I study my new hairstyle. I already miss my long wavy hair but this was something that needed to be done. It will grow back out, I tell myself as I run my fingers over my head. If you look really quickly I actually look exactly like Hugo now.

I thank Mercedes and Tina and tell them goodbye. We hug for what felt like forever and when they go I cry for a moment. But I remind myself that I need to clean up the mess in my room and put on my hood in case Ritchie or my mom decides to drop in unannounced.

* * *

I rest on my bed for a moment and wake up when I hear Ritchie knocking on my door and telling me it's time to leave. I plop up on one elbow and stay like that for a moment before I stand up and tighten my hoodie even more. I grab my bag and starts walking out of my room. I hug my mom who's waiting at the foot of the stairs before I hand Ritchie my bag and follow him out to the car.

It's going to be quite a long ride so I feel very grateful for the fact that he has put a blanked and a pillow in the back of the car so that I could sleep for a while.

He drives in silence and since he's not talking to me, I decide it's better to fall asleep – so I do.

* * *

When I wake up this time it's to the sound of Ritchie's voice – telling me to get up and stop snoring. I feel a bit dizzy and confused for a moment and I think I rabble some incoherent words, judging on the way he looks at me. He chuckles at me and steps out of the car. I follow him and give him a tight hug when he hands me my bag. I stay by the parking- lot until he's out of sight. Then I pull down my hood and turn around to face one of the most magnificent schools I have ever laid eyes on.

"McKinley High school," I say to nobody in particular. "Here comes trouble…"

* * *

Okay is this worth keep writing? I am aware of the fact that we never met Brittany in this chapter... but she will show up in the next one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your loving comments! They made me very happy!:) I'm kinda scared that I won't live up to all of your expectations now, but I'll do my best. **

**And yes, Santana plays SOCCER not football. I'm not from America so… Sorry if that made anyone confused. Imma start calling it soccer now.**

* * *

It's not only pitch black, making it very hard for me to see, and awfully cold outside, it's also empty. I am standing alone out in the dark and I have no idea where I am supposed to go. I wander around on campus for a while before I realize that the cold is making me shiver like I'm having a seizure and I am pretty sure that all of my teeth are about to break because of how they have been chattering, therefore I decide to try to find my way inside. There's only one light lit in the whole school and it's coming from one of the many dorms, I can see that through the windows, and I realize that that's probably where I am supposed to go.

As I start walking in the direction of the door I am surprised to find someone standing there… Because one; It's sort of scary and two; who is awake at this hour- besides me?

The only reason I can tell that someone is in fact standing there, on top of the stairs, is because that light from the dorm, next to the door, lights up parts of the entrance which makes it easy to see the person's silhouette. I stop in my tracks before I squint my eyes to see the person better. Judging on the short hair, I'd guess it is a boy. But you can never be sure; I suppose I am a living proof of that.

He doesn't look dangerous at all and he is probably not up to something bad – In fact, he is simply just standing there, leaning against the wall, and checking the watch on his left wrist, almost as if he is waiting for something… or someone. That's when I realize that he is probably waiting for _me. _

I start walking again and as I get closer, he notices me and stands up straight, fixes his jacket and takes a couple of steps towards me. I can see that it definitely is a boy now.

"There you are! I was worried you had gotten lost or something!" He exclaims as I reach him. He extends his hand and introduces himself. "I am Blaine Anderson – and you must be Hugo?" I nod as I shake his hand and pray that he can't tell I'm a girl. I haven't "gotten rid of" my boobs yet and even though I am wearing sweats, they are still pretty girly – thank god it's dark outside.

"We took a vote and I am officially your go –to person here. I will show you around the campus…but we can save that for tomorrow - seeing how dark it is outside. But I can show you to your dorm, right now, so that you can get some sleep." He says politely as he opens the door for me to enter.

We walk in silence through a long corridor and at the end of it, at the last door; he stops and picks up a card from his pocket.

"We don't have keys here, we have these." Blaine says as he hands me the card and tells me to open the door. I do, and I am shocked to see that there already is someone in there – sleeping on one of the beds. I slowly close the door again and turn to look at Blaine with a frown, who, in turn, looks at me quizzically.

"Is anything wrong?" He asks and I bite my lip.

"I have a roommate?" I ask in a somewhat darker voice and I mentally kick myself because of how fake it sounded. But thankfully Blaine doesn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, we all do. Your roommate's name is Noah Puckerman, but people just call him Puck, so I think you can do that too. "

"Him, it's a boy?" I let out in my normally girly voice but quickly try to cover up. "Um, I mean, whatever, dude."

Blaine gives me a small smile and frowns a bit before he nods and tells me that he will find me tomorrow so that we can talk. When he is out of sight, I put one of my hands against my forehead and sigh. I am so stupid. I carefully open the door again and step inside.

I don't dare to turn any lights on, so I simply just strip out of my clothes and crawl into the free bed. I set my alarm early so that I have time to fix myself before Puck wakes up.

When I wake up the next morning it is to the sound of people talking in the corridor, and not to the sound of my alarm-clock. I reach for my phone, which lays on the nightstand, and checks the time. _8.19, _that means that my alarm never went off. I plop up on one elbow as I glance across the room to see if my roommate is still there. He is still sleeping so I rapidly get up and grab my bag before I scurry off into the bathroom. Once inside, I lean against the door and let out a big breath.

I can't believe what I have gotten myself into – but there is no turning back now, I think as I open my bag and pull out a pair of dark jeans and a grey shirt but before I put any of it on, I make sure to 'hide' my boobs the best I can. I decide to wear my hoodie as well just because I am a bit worried that it is still possible to tell I have boobs if somebody sees me from the side. Better safe than sorry, right?

After dealing with that, I walk over to the mirror to gussy up a bit. I wash my face with cold water and style my hair with a bit of gel - just so that it's not hanging into my face.

When I am about to walk out of the bathroom I hear that Puck is moving around in _our _room so I stop to take a deep breath before I open the door.

"Hey, man!" I say as I throw my bag on the bed and walk over to look out the window.

"Wow, dude, how long have you been here?" He asks and I have to smile at the sound of his voice. He really didn't expect that. I put on a poker face and turn around so that I can see him again.

"I drove in last night." I say while I roll up my sleeves and let my eyes take in the whole room.

It has two beds, on either side of the room, both standing next to a small nightstand with a lamp. If you look to the right the moment you step into the room you'd look right into the bathroom and if you look left you'd find yourself staring into a huge mirror. The room is also set with a desk, a chair, a small sofa and a TV. It's simple but still classy. The only thing I don't like about the room is the person standing opposite of me and the mess he has created. Clothes are spread all over the floor and I can see old bags of chips and cans of coke lying around on the floor. And it isn't pretty. Not only that – no the room also smells like a sweaty man – and it's not coming from me.

"Why didn't you wake me, bro? I could have shown you around." He says as he pulls off the t-shirt he has been sleeping in and picks up a new shirt from the filthy floor. He sniffs it before he nods and puts it on. He is revolting, that is all I can think about.

"Um – I," I clear my throat a little. "Nah, it was too late and… I wanted to sleep." I say and just as he is about to change shorts, there is a knock on the door, and I am saved. "I get it!" I let out a bit too excitedly and hurry over to the door.

"Hey!" It's Blaine's voice that I hear when I open the door and I can't help but give him a small smile. Spending a few minutes with Puck really proves that I have a preference for people who are clean. I step out of the room and he asks me what I want to do.

"I'd like to talk to the coach of the soccer team because I really need to join – and I also would like to see the field where they play." I say as we start walking into a, for me, uncharted world.

"Really? Sure, I can show you but I think that the tryouts were months ago. " Blaine tells me this as we reach the end of the corridor.

"You don't think they'll let me try? I mean I'm new here, so I think that they at least should give me a shot."

"Yeah, but Beastie can be very strict. She kicked a guy off the team a month ago because he forgot to tell her that he was going on a vacation."

"Oh…Is she seriously called Beastie? What a name!" I chuckle a bit and it causes Blaine to gently push me. "But wait – doesn't that mean that they have an open spot?"

"Um – I guess."

We make our way towards the outside arena and end up standing in the middle of the big green field. They have real grass and I have to stop myself from taking off my shoes and running around on it barefoot like a maniac. I am not used to grass like this – at my old school, we always played on fake. I kneel down to be able to feel the grass with my hands and before I have a chance to tell Blaine to do the same, he's already kneeled down next to me.

"It feels great." He says as he lets his hands roam across the grass tops. "I have never been here before – and I have been in this school for three years."

"Wow, how could you resist?" I joke as I sit down properly and turn my face towards the burning sun. The weather is great today. It's not hot but it's definitely warm enough. Blaine shakes his head and chuckles before he sits down next to me.

We talk a bit about our interests and I learn that he enjoys singing and that he actually is in the 'Glee- Club'. I think that is where you sing and dance. We didn't have a Glee Club at my old school and when I tell him this he says that he would have switched schools too. I am just about to ask him where coach Beastie is when the said woman steps onto the field.

"Hey! Get off the grass!" she screams and both me and Blaine jump because of the shock. We quickly get to our feet and turn around, only to see Beastie walking towards us with determined steps.

"Anderson!" She yells, even though she is close enough to use small letters. "And who the heck are you?"

I look at her with wide eyes for a moment and don't say anything until I can feel Blaine tugging at my shirt. That reminds me of what's going on.

"Um – My name is Sa…Um…Hugo Lopez." I mumble and she stares at me with a clenched jaw. "I am new." I add because the silence is killing me.

"You just got here and you are already breaking the rules?"

"Um- I-"

"Save it kiddo. Just get off the grass." She shouts as she turns around and starts walking towards wherever she came from. When I look to my left I see that Blaine has started to walk away from the field but I still need to talk to Beastie. Blaine throws a glance over his shoulder and when he sees that I am starting to walk towards Beastie, he shakes his head furiously and tries to wave me over.

I start walking a bit faster and when I reach her I tap her shoulder. She turns around and crosses her arms across her chest.

"Lopez. You are not going to stop bothering me today, are you?" She says, she doesn't shout. I give her a small smile as I shake my head a little.

"I need to talk to you." I say and it causes her to stare at the watch on her wrist.

"You have exactly five minutes." She lets out as she motions to a bench that we then sit down on.

"Well, coach." I begin and stop when I realize I am sitting with crossed legs. I place both of my feet on the ground instead and place my elbows on them and leans forward. I sit just like the way Sue sat when we talked. I think it looks manly. "Like I said, I am new here- and at my last school I was in the soccer team so I would really, really, really like to try out for this schools team. I know that it is mid- season but-"

"Hold up a cotton- pickin' moment. _You _want to try out for the soccer- team?" She asks surprised and covers her mouth to hide the fact that she is laughing at me.

"Yes…" I say and frown. "Can I?"

"Well, son, you are the smallest guy I have ever laid eyes on and I don't think that-"

"Please!" I interrupt her and take a deep breath. "I have to be on that team."

I throw a glance at Blaine who is waiting for me by the side of the field. He puts his hands up in the air as if to ask me whether I get to tryout or not. I shrug my shoulders as an answer and turn my attention back to the woman next to me.

"Okay." She says as she stands up.

"What?" I ask in disbelief and stand up next to her.

"I said: Okay. Everybody gets a shot and I actually have an open spot. See you tomorrow at practice." And with that she leaves. But not before she turns to Blaine and gives him a small wave. I think that my mouth is hanging open so I close it and run over to Blaine with a smile on my face. Just as I reach him a group of cheerleaders walk up to us and I can tell that they are talking about me by the way they whisper and stare. One girl, who I guess is the head cheerleader, steps forwards.

"I haven't seen you here before." She says with a smile. "My name is Quinn Fabray." She extends her hand and I shake it.

"Hugo. Lopez." I stammer out because I am getting a bit nervous with everyone's eyes on me.

Quinn smiles at me before she lets go off my hand.

"Well, Hugo. We are gonna practice now and we wouldn't mind if you stayed and watched, right girls?" She says and all the other cheerleaders nod. I turn to Blaine and see that he discreetly shakes his head at me so I decline the offer. Before they leave, Quinn turns to Blaine and gives him a fake smile.

Blaine and I head back to the school and when the cheerleaders are out of sight I hit Blaine's shoulder and ask him what Quinn's problem with him is. He tells me that she once caught him making out with her boyfriend in middle-school and that she has never gotten over it.

I laugh, not only because it is ridiculous, but also because I am happy that I am not the only gay kid in the entire school.

When we get inside, Blaine tells me that he has a class soon and that he needs to go. He points me in the direction of the principal's office and says that I better go there to get my schedule.

* * *

**Short chapter, but I will update sooooooon. I had two split a long chapter into two parts:) I LIED TO YOU! She never met Brittany in this chapter, and I told you she would... I mean, Brittany is one of the cheerleaders, so they sort of met ;)**

**PS: BLAINTANA! LOL or should we call it BLUGO? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ninja Awesome Monkey: I find it super hard to imagine her with short hair as well. But as soon as she 'comes out as a girl' she is getting hair- extensions ;) And yes, Tina and Mercedes know that she likes girls **

**And Anon (The one who wants a love triangle): I had something similar in mind you just have to wait and see. **

**Wwtggd: He will, eventually **

**THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR READING AND FOR LIKING THIS STORY! I love reading your comments. **

**Wouldn't it be fun if I suddenly began to write very poorly? …No? Like reeeeeally bad! Haha! Okay, onto chapter Three! Enjoy**

* * *

"Please, Hugo, have a seat." The principal says as I enter the small office. I do as he says and sit down on the chair opposite of where he is sitting, behind a wooden desk. When I say that it is a small office it's actually an understatement. It's not only small – It's like extremely tiny. I almost had to squeeze myself through the door to be able to get in and at first; I thought I had walked into the broom cupboard or something. But no, it just happens to be a very small office.

There's an awkward silence as he types something into the computer, takes a sip of coffee from his cup and writes something down on a piece of paper. He then combs his fingers through his somewhat curly light- brown hair and then, when he looks back at me, his eyes widen. Almost like he had forgotten that I was here, but then he chuckles a little and places his arms on the desk.

"Hugo, how do you like the campus? Have you had a proper chance to look around?" He asks and gives me a small smile – but it looks kind of creepy.

"Um – it's nice." I say as I remove a piece of non- existent lint from my shirt. "Blaine – um – Anderson showed me around earlier."

He nods understandingly before he clasps his hands together and smiles.

"How about looking at that schedule, huh?"He lets out excitedly before he picks up one of the papers from the massive pile on his desk. "This is really just an example – you can add or remove any class you'd like." I take the paper as he hands it to me and before I leave I ask him if it's mandatory for me to show up at any of today's classes and he shakes his head.

I walk out of the "room" and place the paper in one of my pockets before I turn to look at the door I just walked out from. It has a sign on it, saying: _Principal William Schuester._ I admit to myself that he seems pretty cool for a principal….or maybe I am just delusional for having Mr. Figgings as a principal at my old school.

* * *

As I walk around in different corridors and rooms around the school, just trying to get a hum of where all the classes will be held tomorrow, I find myself standing outside the cafeteria. I feel my tummy rumbling and I remember that I forgot to eat breakfast.

Those who have early lunch today are already in there and I wonder if it would be okay if I just walked in. I mean, I know it would be okay – but I am not sure if I want to go in there, _alone, _and sit down at a table and eat, _alone. _I don't want to seem like some sort of loner.

I am just about to turn around and leave when I spot Puck, my revolting roommate, at one of the tables. He is sitting together with a bunch of jocks, they are all dressed in similar clothing and if I didn't know better I'd think they were five years old, because of the way they are all behaving. Goofing around and – wow – one guy just threw a piece of bread at his friend – while howling like a wolf. Puck is one of those? He is a soccer- player? I think about it as I bite the inside of my cheek. Maybe I should try to…befriend the guy. It would really help me with the whole 'getting on the team' thingy, but at the same time, they are all so gross.

I dry my sweaty hands on my lap before I open the door and walk inside. Not many people seem to acknowledge me and for that I am very thankful. I slowly walk over to one of the lunch- ladies and she looks at me with a deep frown.

"Do you want food?" She asks tiredly with a hunch of annoyance in her voice. The spatula, which she is holding, is flying wildly about her face as she tries to get rid of an irritating fly. Her face is red and she looks at me like I just ate the last cookie or something.

"Yes…" I reply quietly and it causes her to smash the spatula against one of the pots.

"Then go grab a plate!" She yells at me and then the whole room goes silent. "Or do you want the mashed potatoes in your hands?"

"No – I'm sorry…I didn't know." I answer and I can't cover up the fact that her outburst shocked me and that I am starting to get a lump in my throat. I have been here one day and everybody hates me, I think as I take a step away from the woman. She is still looking at me with flaring nostrils so I take another step away before I decide it's best to walk out of the room. Just as I turn away from her I can hear her tell the other woman that 'they just keep getting dumber and dumber at this school' and that makes the swelling in my throat grow. It's not that I feel offended or anything. I just really miss my friends at home… and our ever so nice lunch- lady.

"Hey!" I hear someone say so I turn around only to see a girl walking towards me with a shy smile upon her face. I try to remember if I have seen her before but I don't think I have. "She is always like that. That's why we always call her 'Lilith' it's like the pupils of our schools inside joke or something…" She pauses for a while. "…Or actually it's just me calling her that…"

"Why?" I ask her because if I was going to give the lunch-lady a nickname it would have been something along the lines of: 'CrabfaceMcflyhater' and not Lilith. The girl places some loose strands of her brown hair behind her ear and looks down at her feet.

"Well, because Lilith was the name of an ancient demon- maybe you have heard the myth?" She says and looks up at me with that shy smile again.

"No." I say as I shake my head and look around in the cafeteria. I notice that people have started to eat again and stopped staring at me.

"Oh, okay." She says and starts fiddling with her hair again.

"My name is Hugo." I say, because it would be weird if I didn't introduce myself.

"I know." She mumbles and giggles a little. "I'm Rachel." I give her a confused look and I guess she knows what I must be thinking, so she tries to explain.

"I heard some of the cheerios talking about you."

"You talk to your…cereals?" I look at her even more quizzically but when she bursts out laughing I can't help to joins in.

"No!" She chuckles as she places one of her hands on her stomach, she is laughing so hard it probably hurts. "I. Can't. Even. Breathe." She then stammers out and I shake my head at her.

"What?"

"Cheerios – that's what the cheerleaders here are called!" She chuckles and I automatically turn to scan the room with my curious eyes, but they aren't here. They are probably still at practice.

"Oh." I say and face-palm myself with a huge grin. "When did they talk about me?"

"Um – Quinn – the head cheerio, you know who I am talking about, right?" Rachel asks me and I nod, so she continues. "Well, I heard her talking about a cute new guy this morning when they walked past me after their practice."

"She thinks I'm cute?" I say in my normally girly voice because I can't help feeling giddy about the fact that not everybody here hates me. "I mean – cool."

Rachel bites her lip and nods.

"She's not alone thinking that…Um – do you want to sit down with me, maybe?" Rachel asks as she points to an empty table where only one plate is placed. My heart sinks a bit. She was sitting alone.

"Sure. I'd love to." I say and it causes the other girl to smile at me again. She walks backwards, looking at me, for a couple of steps before she turns around and skips off to her seat. I smile at her before I turn to look at 'Lilith' again, who is currently yelling at another poor kid.

I decide to skip the mashed potatoes so I walk over to the other lady and receive a piece of bread instead.

As I make my way over to Rachel I can see Puck staring at me and he even tries to wave me over. All the other guys are staring at me as well and I have to pretend not to understand what they want so I just wave back. Fuck, I think. If it wasn't for Rachel I'd probably be hanging out with Puck right now.

We sit in silence until she mentions Glee Club – so I tell her about Blaine and we end up discussing how great he is the rest of the time.

When we exit the cafeteria I tell her goodbye and she is just about to tell me something when my phone goes off. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen. _Mom. _I sigh and wave at Rachel before I answer.

"Hello –"I say in a quite deep voice but I quickly cover up by coughing a little. "I mean – hello, mom!" I roll my eyes at myself and look around just in case someone might hear me. But nobody is close enough for doing that.

"No, no, it's great, mom. Yes, uh-huh, sure, will do, mom. I gotta go now. I love you too. I really have to go now mom. Mom! Yes, okay. Mom, I'm hanging up now. Bye, I know, bye." That woman sure can talk. She wanted to know what I think about McKinley High and whether I had had a chance to talk to Hugo – I told her I had. I already know that this whole 'pretending to be a guy' thing can't end well. But I've gone too far already.

* * *

I head back to my room for a short nap… but I end up sleeping the whole afternoon.

While sleeping I have this really weird dream where I am running alone in an enormous forest screaming my dad's name. I run really fast but suddenly I am in front of a huge mirror, but the person I am looking at isn't me – it's Hugo. I look down at my chest…and it's flat. I tear my shirt off in a hurry, but my breasts are gone. That's when I wake up. I sit up in my bed and automatically place both of my hands on my chest. I exhale before I dry the drops of sweat on my forehead, using the hem of my shirt. Thank god, I say to myself as I get up and walk over to the window.

It's getting a bit darker outside again and it's probably getting cold again as well. I wonder where Puck is but I don't have to think about that too long before the door to our door opens and he steps inside.

"Hey." He says as he sits down at the edge of his bed and removes his shoes. I return his greeting and sits down at the edge of my own bed too.

Puck crawls up in his bed and lies down while I remain sitting awkwardly at the edge of mine.

"Practice is killing me!" He exclaims after a while as he place both of his hands behind his neck and stare up at the ceiling.

"Why?" I ask as I look out the window to have one last glance at today's sun.

"Beastie is killing all of us! She is making us practice from our last class to now!" He whines and I roll my eyes at him.

"But that's good! She wants to make sure that you win the finals." I say and Puck nods.

"She told us that the new guy was going to try out for the team – I suppose that is you." He tells me and gives me a small smile.

"Yeah, that's me." I nod and look at him because he stands up from his bed to reach for his bag before he sits down again. He opens it and pulls out a shirt. He unfolds it and I can see that it's actually a_ soccer t-shirt. _

"Here-"He says as he throws it to me. "Beastie told me to hand it to you."

"Wow- cool, thanks." I say as I hold it out in front of me. It has number 13. She wants to give me bad luck; I think to myself and chuckle a little.

I begin to fold the shirt but then I notice that Puck is looking at me so I just throw it over my bag instead and lies down.

"Have you met any hot chicks yet?" He asks as he scratches his head and picks up his phone from his pocket.

"Um-"I start and try to remember the name of the blonde cheerio. "Quinn is pretty…hot."

Puck looks at me when I say this and then he doesn't speak for a while.

"Quinn is my girlfriend." He says, but it doesn't sound threating or anything.

"Oh," I let out and mentally kick my own ass. "Nice."

"Yeah, she is pretty cool actually. But she is so controlling. Always telling me what to do – guess how many times she has ordered me to clean my room?"

Probably more than a hundred times, that's how many times I have wanted to tell him to do that and I have only been here one day!

"What?" I ask and pretend to scan the room. "It's not even messy."

"I know! Like what's her problem?"

"She's a girl." I say and he chuckles and tells me that girls are impossible to please. You always do something wrong no matter what you do. I say that I agree and then we are quiet again.

* * *

Before I fall asleep again, I realize that I still have my schedule in the pocket of my pants, so I pull it out and unfold it. The first class I have tomorrow, Thursday, is apparently going to be 'History' and then I'll move on to 'Literature' and then I'll have 'Gym' before I'll have lunch. Soccer practice is directly after lunch and then I only have one class left on that day: 'Spanish'. I sigh loudly since none of those subjects are on my list of favorites – I don't even have a list of favorites. But if I did, History, Literature, Gym and Spanish wouldn't be on it.

Both Puck and I fall asleep very early but that doesn't mean that we wake up early too. No- you can believe it or not – but my alarm don't go off this morning either and Puck totally forgot to set his.

* * *

I wake up when Puck starts pressing his finger into the side of my face while repeating the sentence: 'Hugo, you got to wake up, dude' – It takes me a couple of seconds to grasp what is going on and when I do, I wave his hand away from my face and sit up.

"What the heck are you doing?" I let out a bit harsher than I intend to but I am not a morning person, so I can't control it. Puck steps away from me and places one of his hands on his head and closes his eyes.

"We overslept." He says as he opens one eye to look at me. If I didn't know better – I'd think that he was scared of me. "I forgot to set my alarm…and I didn't hear yours."

"Fuck!" I say loudly as I reach for my phone. It shows that it's already _9.12. _"No!"

"I know!" Puck says as he bites on one of his knuckles, and then he starts to frantically search the floor for something to wear while I grab my bag and run into the bathroom. When I return he is lying on the floor, on his stomach, looking under his bed. He lets out a groan as he stands up again.

"Dude, are you really going to wear that?" He asks me as he motions for what I am wearing. I look at him quizzically before I look down at my knitted-west and black jeans. I know that I look a bit dorky, but this is the clothes I found in Hugo's closet.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" I ask as I scratch my neck a bit – this shirt sure is itchy.

"It's just that it's a bit…un-cool." He says honestly and covers his mouth to stifle laughter. "You are trying out for the team today, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah, you can't wear that."

"I don't have anything else…" I say and shrug my shoulders. "This is okay."

"You'll embarrass the whole team…wait-"He says as he walks over to the small drawer. He opens it and pulls out a T-shirt. "Take this!"

"But-"I start but stop talking when the shirt lands on my head and covers my face. I pull it off of me and narrow my eyes at Puck. "What about you? Aren't you looking for a shirt? Why don't you wear this?"

"It's too small. Quinn bought that for me a couple of months ago." He mumbles as he begins to search for something to wear.

I thank him and step in to the bathroom to put on the t-shirt instead. When I come out Puck has gotten dressed in the same clothes he wore yesterday.

"We are so doing laundry this evening-"He says and sniffs at his shirt. "Or we have Quinn do it for us."

* * *

I step in to the classroom just as the bell rings and the teacher looks at me disappointingly.

"Thank you for showing up, Hugo." He says and shakes his head at me. All of the students brush past me except for one: Rachel.

"Hi." She says with a huge grin on her face. "So we are going to have history together?"

"I suppose so." I say and then she asks me what class I'm having next.

"I think I'm going to have Literature." I tell her and her demeanor falls a bit.

"Oh-"She presses her books tighter to her chest. "I'm having Math…maybe we could meet up for lunch?" I nod so she smiles again before she walks away. That girl sure likes to smile, I think and then I take a couple of steps towards the teacher.

"I am so sorry. I overslept and I know that that's like the worst way possible to start my first day here...so I am sorry. It won't happen again." I explain and the teacher tells me that it's fine.

Finally a grownup who doesn't hate me at this school, I think as I start walking in the direction of the literature-classroom.

* * *

When I reach the room and step inside I notice that half of the room is already filled with people so for a moment I fear that I might be late again –but then the bell goes off and I hurry to find a free chair before all the seats are taken and it's too late.

I discreetly scan the room and I realize that there are at least half a dozen cheerleaders in here – but I can't find Quinn so I let out a huge breath. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that Quinn likes me. And she is dating Puck, it would be a disaster if he found out her feelings for me and I really need Puck to like me right now. Plus, Quinn thinks I'm a boy so there is no way that I would ever lead her on to believing that I like her too.

The students fall silent as an elderly lady, probably in her sixties, enters the classroom and places herself in front of the class before clears her throat.

"Hello kids, good morning!" She says kindly before she glances at someone in the back of the classroom. "Ben, stop doing that!" She says and everybody except me turns to laugh at a red-haired boy. I don't know what he did but the teacher didn't appreciate it that's for sure.

She points her index finger at him and tells him that he better be quiet. She then let her eyes roam the classroom and it's not really a surprise that her eyes stop at me.

"Well, well, well-"She says and beckons me to get up from my seat. I hesitate for a moment but then I do as she wishes. "Kids, at least try to pay attention now! We have a new student with us; can you tell us your name and anything…you are good at?"

I hate it when teachers do that. It's always either say something you are good at or say something you like to do in your spare-time. Like, seriously, nobody cares. I position myself next to her and roll up my sleeves.

"Hi-"I say and cross my arms. "My name is Hugo Lopez – I have seventeen years of age in my backpack and I'm really good at soccer."

The jocks, that sit together in a group in the back of the classroom, laughs at me and one of them tells me to 'wake up'. I just shrug my shoulders and go back to my seat.

The teacher looks at me with a smile before she tells the class to pair up. I stay in my seat and wait for someone to find me because I don't see a point in trying to find a partner myself; most people probably already have someone to be with.

Everyone around me starts moving around and after a while it seems like everyone has found someone- well, except me.

"Is there anyone who doesn't have a partner?" The teacher asks and I raise my hand. "Oh, good, that makes it even. Brittany, will you be a dear and pair up with Hugo?"

"Sure." Brittany says as she sits down next to me. I turn to look at her and when I do, I find it difficult to look away. She is one of the cheerleaders and she has her long, blonde hair pulled up in a tight ponytail.

"Turn to page 55, - there you'll find a couple of famous poems, I want you to interpret the meanings of these and then compare it to your partner's." The teacher says as she begins to hand out books.

Brittany gets her book first and she turns her head to me and I almost expect her to smile, but she doesn't. Instead she just huffs and opens her textbook.

What did just happen? I ask myself as I reach for the book that the teacher hands me as well.

* * *

**What have we learnt while reading this chapter? 1. Everybody seems to be crushing on Santana. 2. Adults at McKinley High are mean. 3. Santana needs a new alarm**

**Tell me what you think. If you want to chat or leave a suggestion or anything I have a tumblr: **

**.com (I think) so you can follow me if you are into stuff like that! REMEMBER: I LÖÖÖÖV JU TOO **


	4. Chapter 4

**Wanna know something suuuper cool? Well, I checked my reviews a couple of days ago and I noticed that I had exactly 11 reviews on each chapter. Not much but kinda awesome. 11 is my new favorite number!**

**And yes, everybody wants Santana! It's a love Octagon or something, but hey, triangle-dramas are overrated… **

**And regarding Brittany being a bit stand-off-ish…Just read and see;) Hint*Hint*Wink*Wink**

**Having trouble picturing Santana? Yeah, me too. Just imagine her as "Artie/Santana" but with a better hairstyle, cooler clothes and no glasses.**

* * *

Chapter 4

**I carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings:**

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in  
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere  
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing, my darling)  
I fear  
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want  
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)  
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you  
here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows  
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)  
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I read this poem first one time slowly, and then I read it again, but faster, before I read it yet another time. I can't help it. It's so beautiful. I know that this poem is supposed to make me think of somebody I really love…you know. But I can't help thinking about my dad. He was my rock when he was alive and this poem captures all of the feelings I still have for him. A familiar picture of my father creeps into my mind and after a moment I can feel that a familiar lump is starting to take form in my throat again - so I quickly try to think about something else.

I close my eyes for a moment as I try to control my breathing and when I open my eyes again, Brittany is staring at me with a small frown. I hold her gaze for a couple of seconds, but then she turns her attention back to her notebook and starts scribbling notes.

I look down at the empty paper on my desk and sigh. How am I supposed to put my feelings into words? It is impossible. I realize this and shift my attention to the book again to read the other poem our teacher assigned us.

**A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe:**

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow-

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand-

How few! Yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep-while I weep!

O God! Can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! Can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

I only have to read the name of this poem to know what it is all about. I read this poem in English class last year when my teacher dedicated an entire month to Edgar Allan Poe. She called it 'The month of Edgar Allan Poe'. I reread the poem anyway; to freshen up my memory. I then scribble down a short summary of the poem in my notebook –incase the teacher want us to hand in our notes – some teachers do that.

I am just about to write down something about E.E Cumming's poem as well when the teacher starts talking.

"Okay, students. Tell your partners what you believe the meanings of these poems are. Nothing is wrong as long as you have a valid argument about it. So, chop chop." The old lady says and then she walks over to a girl who has her arm stretched above her head.

I glance over at the blonde girl next to me and it takes a couple of seconds before she notices that I'm looking at her. She rolls her blue eyes and turns to look at me.

"I carry your heart with me." I say and she looks at me quizzically. "Um – I mean the poem…the one written by E.E Cummings." I add and points at the open literature book on her desk.

"Oh, right." She says and peeks at her notes. "Should we start talking about that one?" I nod and bite my lip.

"Do you want to start?" I wonder and she answers me with a halfhearted shrug. "Okay…what do you say it's about?"

She scrunches her nose for a second before she turns to me with a quizzical expression on her face.

"I don't really get it." She admits as she leans over the book. As if getting closer to the text would make it easier to understand. "How can someone carry another person's heart within their own? It doesn't make any sense…"

I stare at her for a moment with my mouth wide agape before my lips form a smile that I can't control.

"No," I start and it causes her to turn her attention back to me. "Not literally." She frowns again so I chuckle a bit and tries to explain. "The poem is a declaration of total and unconditional love. He doesn't actually carry someone else's heart…he just feels like he does. Because when you love someone so much, they are with you all the time, no matter what- or where you go. The love you have for another person is with you in every choice or decision you make but you can help it. But most importantly: You don't want to help it. You want the feeling to last." When I finish I realize that the whole class has gone silent and that everybody is staring at me…again.

"Hugo!" The teacher lets out excitedly and clasps her hands together. "That was a very good definition of this poem. You are absolutely right. When a man and a woman love each other unconditionally they'd feel like they would always be together, because they are connected."

"It doesn't only work for a man and a woman-"I begin but the teacher interrupts me before I get a chance to finish.

"O of course! A man can love a man and a woman can love a woman unconditionally too."

"That's not what I was going to say, but yes. I was going to say that it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic kind of love." I say and the teacher nods at me and urges me to explain. "Well, it can be about love between siblings or friends even. And sometimes, just sometimes, it describes a girl's love for her father perfectly." The teacher looks confused for a moment before she smiles at me and repeats what I said to the class. Even though I'm pretty sure they heard me the first time.

Everybody stares at me again and I realize that I probably shouldn't have said what I said. I don't want to come off as a total geek and I don't want to be the teacher's pet- Not now, not ever. I look to my left and my eyes are once again met with Brittany's. For the first time, she smiles at me. But it doesn't last long because the teacher interrupts us again.

"What about 'A dream within a dream'? Hugo, what were your immediate thoughts about that poem?" She nods at me with a small smile and then tells the class to be silent. I know what I am _supposed_ to say. I remember my old teacher's exact words about this poem but I know that if I say them, I might as well start digging my own grave - right now. I cough a little before I speak.

"Well, I thought that maybe the guy is sad because his chick left him. And he is upset about the fact that she is taking all his cash and the golden sand is the gold she has taken. Or the gold could be the booty, because gold is like booty." I blurt out and it causes some of the guys in the classroom to burst out in laughter. The teacher doesn't look very pleased with my answer though and waves it off before she asks another girl to give her definition of the poem to the rest of the class. The girl is just about to speak when the school bell goes off.

All the guys, from the back off the classroom, rushes out and one of them almost knock the teacher over in his rush to get out. She would have fallen if it hadn't been for her desk which caught her.

Brittany mumbles a quiet 'bye' before she walks over to her cheerleader friends. I collect my stuff and when I am about to leave, the teacher calls my name, so I turn around to face her.

"Yes, Mrs.…"

"Sanders – Mrs. Sanders." She fills in before she tells me to sit down, so I head towards the closest desk. The old lady reaches into her even older bag and pulls out an, probably older, book. She pats it with her hand before she walks over to me and holds it out in front of her face.

'_101 Best Poems' _

I take it as she hands it to me and gently tap my fingers on it before I look up at her with a frown.

"Why do you give me this?" I ask as she shoves her glasses further up her nose and scratches her wrinkly forehead.

"Because, Hugo, sometimes, some people make you feel something that you thought you'd never feel ever again." She replies and gently pats my shoulder.

"What did I make you feel?" I ask out of curiosity and she chuckles a little before she answers.

"Hope."

"Why?"

"I have a feeling about you – I don't quite know what it is…But I'd noticed that you have a talent; you can interpret your own feelings into a poem and you make it seem like it's your own." She pauses for a moment and points at the book. "Read it, you might learn something new about yourself." I thank her as I get up from my seat.

"Hey," She calls out just as I am about to exit the room. "Gold is like booty! You almost made me laugh there – clever!" I shake my head at her before I leave.

* * *

I head back to my room and change into my Gym clothes. I don't think it would be a good idea to change together with the boys, because that would definitely end badly. Plus, being in a room filled with naked teenage boys…is not really something I would wish for.

Gym class goes by slowly. We do push-ups; run laps, do sit-ups, play some volleyball and then we are done. It wasn't nearly as tiring as it sounds like. Truth is, the teacher was a real slacker and sat on a bench, reading a magazine, the entire class. He only watched us when he told us what to do and when nobody listened, instead of yelling at us, he just sighed, licked his thumb and turned a page in the magazine.

After the lesson, I make my way back to my room to use the shower. I'm not really sweaty at all so showering is kind of unnecessary and considering I'm going to have to shower after the soccer tryouts; it's kind of a waste too. But I do it anyway and when I'm done, I use some of that perfume Tina bought for me. It doesn't smell too bad.

* * *

I spot Rachel standing outside of the cafeteria, looking rather eager, and I suddenly remember that we were going to meet up for lunch. I let out a sigh of relief because just minutes ago I had been tempted to stay in my room, but I obviously decided against it. Thank Lord.

"Hello, Rachel." I say as I make my way towards her. She doesn't see me immediately, but I know that she heard me, because she is turning her head from side to side, trying to get to the source of the sound. "Here," I wave at her and she sees me. Her previous confused expression morphs into a toothy grin. "Sorry I'm late…I- I got lost." I can't tell her that I forgot that we were going to meet up – that would have been mean.

"Hugo!" She smiles and shakes her head. "It's okay. I haven't waited that long…not really." She looks down at her feet and mumbles something really quietly. She probably didn't mean for me to hear, but I did. It was something along the lines of 'Only about 35 minutes or so' and the thought of her waiting for me for so long makes me a bit giddy.

"Shall we go in and eat?" She asks after a moment of silence. I nod before I open the door for her and bow as I pretend to remove an invisible hat from my head and motions for her to step inside. She giggles at my antics and just as she is about to walk inside, she turns to me and almost whispers.

"Should we avoid Lilith today too?" I smile at her and say that it is probably for the best if we lay low for a while. She agrees. So instead of eating the wonderful chicken nuggets that the demon is serving, we have to settle for a loaf of bread and some jam. But I think that that's good too.

"Is this strawberry?" Rachel asks as she licks some jam off of her index-finger.

"I don't know," I answer before I dip my finger into the small box of jam I have on my plate and suck on it. My lips make a 'plopping' sound when my finger leaves my mouth. "Hmm…yes, it's strawberry."

I see Blaine walking into the cafeteria so I wave him over and after a minute or so; he joins us at our table.

"Good afternoon, guys." He says before sits down and begins to neatly cut the chicken, on his plate, into small pieces. "Had a good day so far?" He asks me and I shrug my shoulders before I take a bite of my sandwich.

"I overslept." I answer after I swallow the food in my mouth and both Rachel and Blaine shake their heads at me. "It wasn't my fault though." I add.

"Uh-huh." Rachel let's out and it is to show that she doesn't really believe me.

"My alarm sucks!" I say and Rachel tells me that I can borrow hers. But then she remembers that she needs it herself and pulls back her offer.

As we eat, I notice that Blaine keeps throwing some, not so discreet, glances over his shoulder and I try to follow his line of vision to see what keeps getting his attention. But it is useless because I have no idea where he is looking.

"Blaine." I say quietly and he hesitates before he turns his attention back to our table. "Who are you looking at?"

"Nobody- I'm not looking at anyone." Blaine says with a chuckle as his face turn into a new shade of pink.

"Kurt." Rachel chimes in and it causes Blaine to smile.

"No, I'm not."

"Who's Kurt?" I ask and Rachel looks around before she leans across the table to get closer to me, to make sure that Blaine doesn't hear her.

"It's Blaine's crush since forever!" She whispers and Blaine smacks her arm to stop her, but she ignores his week attempt. "He is in Glee Club too and he is the reason why Blaine joined the Club to begin with- to be close to him."

"Awe, Blainey-boy is in love." I say teasingly and Blaine blushes even more.

"You are both being very…annoying." He says as he takes a sip from his glass of water. "And I'm not really in love with him…"

"Uh-huh." Rachel let's out again and this time I agrees with her. He is such a love struck puppy. I tell him this and he threatens us to leave the table if we keep teasing him.

"Does that mean that you'd join Kurt at his table instead?" I wiggle my eyebrows at him and he shakes his head with a big smile. "Oh shoot!" I exclaim as my eyes focus on the clock on the wall. "I have to go and get ready for the try outs!"

"What try outs?" Rachel asks and Blaine explains to her as I wave them good bye and scurries off.

* * *

I run back to our room and quickly get dress in the soccer t-shirt with number 13, a pair of white shorts, red socks and my shin pads. I then proceed to run all the way to the soccer-field. When I walk towards it I realize that some people are already there so I jog up to them to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Hugo." I say as I shake a blonde guy's hand.

"Sam. Evans." He says with a smile before he shouts for someone who comes running towards him. Turns out it's my filthy roommate.

"Hey, man." Puck says when he sees me and pats/hits my back when he walks past me. An extremely tall guy is walking behind him, dressed in a way too tight shirt. He stops next to me and extends his hand.

"Hello, I'm Finn Hudson." He smiles and then he jogs up to Puck, who is currently walking away from the field.

Another bunch of guys joins us and most of them acknowledge me and introduces themselves. One of the guys is called Dave Karofsky, I remember him because he looked so huge and mean from a distance, but when he shook my hand, I looked into his eyes and they looked kind.

"Gather around boys!" Beastie yells as she steps onto the field. She is carrying a sack of footballs and one of the many boys, walks up to her and takes them. "Is anyone missing?"

Shannon Beastie counts the people on the field and then turns her attention to a file in her hands.

"Two people are missing."

Just as Sam is about to tell her who's missing, Puck and Finn returns to the field and join the group, so Sam gives Beastie a shy smile, which she doesn't return.

"Okay, now that everyone is here I can tell you guys that we will play against 'Carson High' next week." All guys break out in cheer and when Puck high-fives me, Beastie turns to me with a smug smile. "You have nothing to cheer for…yet." I return her smile and catch the football, which she throws to me, with one hand. I'm not the only one who gets a football, but the other guys has to get their by themselves.

"Warm up! Finn, take the lead!" Shannon shouts and everybody looks at Finn, who is standing next to me, pulling at the hem of his shirt to make it bigger. "What's wrong with your shirt?" she adds when she sees him. He lets go of it and sighs.

"It shrunk in the washer" She shakes her head at him before she repeats what she told him to do earlier.

We run a couple of laps around the field and I don't struggle to keep up at all.

The sun is shining brightly, but it is still not warm outside, which is not weird, considering it is only the beginning of spring. I run behind Puck and when I start to get tired I just focus on the 'number 7' on his back.

"Enough!" Beastie yells before she blows in her whistle. "Team up in groups of four!" I find myself being pulled into a group by Puck. But I am okay with it because the people in my group are the only people I know here, or are acquainted with at least. Besides me and Puck, our group also consists of Sam and Finn. Beastie explains to us that we are about to play a small tournament of soccer within the team, not only because she wants to see how I move on the field, but also because it's a good practice.

Finn gets the position as a goalkeeper, Sam as a defender, I as a midfielder and Puck as a forward. We get to play our first game against the team in which Karofsky is a part of. We take our positions on the field as the rest of the team goes to sit down on a couple of benches. Beastie places the football in the middle of the field and looks at all of us with a clenched jaw.

"There are six groups; each group will have to win each game to be able to stay in the competition." She says before she turns to face the boys on the bench. "Austin, you time the games and each game will be around eight minutes."

I swallow hard and take a deep breath. I find that focusing on Puck's number is soothing, so I stare at it while Beastie keeps talking.

"The rules are simple – No physical contact, no use of bad words and if-"

"But coach, we already know the-"Puck tries to interrupt her but she ignores him.

"If somebody stands closer to the goal line than both the ball and the second-to-last defender he is offline…well only if he is in the opposition half of the field." Beastie says and looks directly at me.

"But – but coach. We already know the rules." Sam shouts from where he stands as Beastie eyes me up and down.

"I hope he is right." She lets out before she takes the whistle, which hangs in a chain around her neck, in her hand and holds it to her lips. She kicks off the game by blowing it and Karofsky rushes past me as another boy in his team tries to pass him the ball. He fails miserably and ends up shooting it in Puck's direction.

Puck races to it and screams at us to move up. I run past him and try to free myself from a guy who has made it his job to cover me. I hardly shake him off before the ball comes flying towards me. I back away a bit so that it will be within my reach, but it's a mistake, because I don't expect the 'cover-guy' to jump up and head the ball midair, causing it to bounce all the way to Karofsky. Karofsky laughs a bit to annoy us and Sam doesn't stand a chance against him as he runs towards the goal. I look over at Puck who throws his hands up in the air and shakes his head at me.

Finn jumps from side to side and seeing how tall and clumsy he is, Karofsky makes an easy decision to gently kick the ball into the right bottom corner and all of his teammates cheers when Beastie blows her whistle to confirm that it was a goal.

"Why did you back away from the ball, dude?" Puck asks me slightly annoyed and turns around before I get a chance to explain,

Beastie blows her whistle again and the game starts.

Karofsky and his teammate want to psyche us so they keep passing the ball to each other without even making a single move towards our side. Puck looks at me and nods towards one of the players. I nod and jog a couple of meters so that I am close to him. Puck then runs up to Karofsky and covers him. That means that there is only one guy left who can move and keep the ball without having to fight us.

He looks at Karofsky who shakes his head so he starts running towards our side of the field. Puck leaves Karofsky and that confuses the other player and instead of keep running he stops and tries to pass the ball back to Karofsky. But he didn't think that I was one step ahead of both of them, because I am already in front of Karofsky and he ends up passing the ball right to me. I kick it all the way down to Sam and then I turn to look at Puck who is glaring at me. I point to where he is standing and mouths 'Stay here'. He shakes his head but I give him a pleading look so he gives in.

I together with all the guys from the other team run towards Sam who is looking rather uncertain to what he is supposed to do.

"Pass me the ball, Sam!" I shout at him and he does. He has a good aim because the ball ends up just in front of me, so I don't even have to stop running. Two of the other team's guys stay next to Sam, but Karofsky keeps getting closer to me. I gently pass the ball to Finn, who picks it up and throws it back to me. I sigh and kick it back to him.

"Kick it to Puck!" I yell and turn around to see Puck standing all alone in the middle of the field. Only seconds later, Finn kicks it and it flies high up in the air and lands on the ground a couple of feet next to Puck.

"Fuck!" Karofsky says and screams for 'Rory and Joe' to run. But it is too late. Puck already has the ball and is heading towards their lonely goalkeeper. He shoots and scores and I let out a big breath as I remove some drops of sweat from my forehead with the hem of my shirt.

Beastie blows the whistle and Puck kneels down on the grass and throws his arm up in the air. He is such a drama queen.

"Beastie, the time is up!" Austin yells from where he is sitting as he holds out the timekeeper in front of himself. Beastie tells us to gather around so we end up standing in a circle around her.

"It's a tie." She says happily and nods. "What do we do now?" She directs her question to the boy with dreadlocks, the boy named Joe.

He smiles and picks up the ball from the ground in front of him.

"I think we should do some penalties." Joe says and kicks the ball one time with his knee.

"Alright, penalties it is." Beastie says and holds out her hands towards Joe, who immediately throws the football to her. "Karofsky starts."

Before we head towards one of the goals, Puck asks our coach if we can switch goalkeeper and she tells him that it is up to us. So we exchange Finn for Sam since Finn kind of proved to be worthless in goal.

Sam steps into the goal and Karofsky places the football a couple of meters away. He backs away from it and takes a deep breath. He hits the ball perfectly and hard, almost too hard because the whole goal vibrates for a second.

Puck is next and he scores as well. Joe, I and Rory get the ball in the goal too and then the only person left is Finn.

Puck tells him to really focus but it obviously gives him nothing since the ball ends up a couple of meters away from the goal. We lost. I exhale deeply because I feel so disappointed. I didn't even get a chance to show Beastie how good I am.

* * *

Puck, Sam, Finn and I walk over to sit down on the bench while two other teams start their game. I feel sweaty and gross and for maybe the first time ever, I enjoy the fact that I have short hair. The thought of my long wavy hair make me feel overheated. I watch as they play and notice that some of the guys are really good but none of them are close to be on in the same league as the guys in my old school. This is an amateur team compared to that one.

I am focusing on the game when I feel Puck tapping his fingers into my back. I turn to him and he nods towards something behind me. I throw a glance over my back and see that a group of maybe eleven cheerleaders or so is heading towards us.

"Hey!" Puck shouts when he sees Quinn and she waves at him and motions for all the girls to walk over to us.

"Why have you been put on the bench? Aren't you the captain or something?" Quinn asks him and gives him a quick peck.

"Yes, but I got to let the other kids play, you know?" He jokes and Quinn smiles at him.

"Well, excuse me for wanting the best player to play." She giggles and I turn around to look at them too. It felt a bit weird sitting with my back to them.

"I might be the best player but I have got some serious competition nowadays."

"And who might that be?" Quinn asks in disbelief and lets her eyes take in every player on the field.

"Hugo." Puck says and smacks my back. Quinn turns her attention to me and a smile forms on her lips.

"Hugo?" She asks nobody in particular and turns to give the girl at her side a knowing smile. "Are you on the team?"

I am just about to open my mouth to answer her when Puck beats me to that point.

"He will be when practice is over."

"Impressive." Quinn says and walks over to sit down on Puck's lap. Her leg touches mine so I scoot away a bit. The rest of the cheerleaders sit down on the grass and that's when I notice Brittany in the back.

"Hey!" I let out a little bit too eager and have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying anything else.

"Hello." She says and sits down next to another blonde girl. I start to feel the same way as when I thought about my long and wavy hair – overheated; so I wave my hand in front of my face for a moment.

"Don't you have practice?" Puck asks Quinn as he kisses the crook of her neck. She traces her fingers along his arm and shake her head.

"Not yet."

Some of the cheerleaders lay down in the grass while some others decide to head back inside until practice starts. Brittany, however, stays.

I hesitate for what felt like an hour before I stand up and walk over to her. I sit down next to her in the grass but then I feel another rush of heat reach my face so I turn it away from her. I realize how weird I must seem for sitting down next to her without saying a word so I try to think of something.

"I like your skirt." I blurt out. "It's um…very…short." I close my eyes when I say this. _It's very short? No she will think that I'm a gross creepy pervert. _I think before I dare to look at her again. She is just looking down at her feet with a small smile on her face. _She really is_ _devilishly adorable. _

"Um…that came out wrong." I say after a while and chuckle nervously. Brittany chuckles too as she tightens her ponytail.

"I like your shorts." She jokes and I am just about to reply when I notice that Quinn is standing right above us. Her body is covering the sun and throwing a big shadow over Brittany and me.

"Aw, that is such a nice thing to say, Brittany." She says teasingly as she holds her hand out. Brittany takes it and gets pulled up into a standing position. I stand up as well. "We have to get going now girls." She then announces and some of the girls groan annoyance. "Hey! What did Mrs. Pillsbury say about that attitude? We are cheerleaders, we have to be _cheery_."

All the girls nod understandingly and start walking away towards another, smaller, field next to ours. Brittany gives me a shy smile before she calls for someone named 'Sugar' and skips away. Quinn picks up her trunk from the ground and throws it over her shoulder effortlessly. She looks at me for a moment before she nods towards my shorts and smiles.

"Yea, I like those shorts too." She says before she jogs up to her team. I roll my eyes before I walk back to the guys to watch the other game that is just about to start.

* * *

After what felt like hours of watching, the small tournament is finally over and the winners are: Karofsky, Joe, Rory and Jesse. We congratulate them halfheartedly and then Beastie tells everybody that they are free to go – well, everybody but me. Puck hesitates before he leaves but everybody else wanders off without paying any attention to the fact that I have to stay behind.

"How long have you played?" She asks me after a moment. I count on my fingers before I answer her.

"Um – since I was 10…so about seven years." She nods and scratches her head before she speaks again.

"You are too slow – too defensive – you have a tendency to think too much instead of enjoying the game and you make a lot of mistakes." She says and I look down at the ground in disappointment, no, embarrassment. "But, you are very clever. Not often do I see players who always find themselves a step ahead of everybody else." She adds and I look up at her again. "I always say this – but it is because it is true: As a coach I can teach my students to avoid making mistakes, to be more aggressive and to run better by being in a better shape – But I can't teach anyone to love this game, and I can't teach someone to be clever." I look at her with a small smile.

"So, I am on the team?" I ask her eagerly and she pretends to ponder it for a moment by touching her index-finger and her thumb on her chin.

You can keep the shirt!" She says and I attack her with a hug. She pushes me off and I stumble backwards. "Who said I wanted your sweaty hug?" I chuckle and hold out my hand for her instead.

"You won't regret this, coach." I say as I shake her hand.

* * *

Later that day, after endless of hours in school, I stumble in to my room and throw myself on my bed. I bounce a little because the bed is hard unlike my bed at home. I roll over so that I am lying on my back instead just as Puck enters the room and does the exact same thing.

"I'm so exhausted…"He says with a yawn and I plop myself up on my elbows. I placed my schedule in my bag earlier today and I really need to check what classes I have tomorrow. I sit up and reach for my bag. I open it and pull out my hoodie, which is taking most of the space, and as I pull it out a box of tampons comes flying across the floor. Puck sits up and stares as it before he turns to me with a frown.

"Dude, why do you have girl stuff in your bag?"

I sit frozen for a moment before I wave it off and make an attempt to laugh, but I end up coughing.

"Um –there is a very good explanation to that…" I say as I try to come up with one. _They are my sister's. _No, that wouldn't make any sense, why would I keep her tampons in my bag? I think really hard and after a couple of seconds I realize that I can't wait any longer to explain…it will just get weirder if more time passes. "I – I really wanted to get on the team, you know? Like, I really wanted to. I mean, I did. But before I came here I wasn't sure I would and I wanted to be able to…have my revenge on the teachers if I hadn't." He still looks at me quizzically so I take a deep breath.

I curse myself for being such a bad liar, but at the same time I admire the fact that I have managed to pull off being a dude…because that is a big lie. "Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to get on the team…Uh- I already said that…I wanted to prank the teachers –yes –prank them all. So before I came here I went into a store and bought a couple of boxes of tampons because…Well- because I was going to dip them in…ketchup and spread them around school." Puck's quizzical expression turns into a surprised one and he stands up to pick up the box.

"That is golden! Like, I had no idea you were the pranking type." He says excitedly as he juggles the box between his hands.

"There is so much that you don't know about me." I say with a smug smile as I pick up another box from my bag. "You barely know anything, actually." I add quietly to myself.

"We should do it!" He says after a while.

"No," I say determinedly while shaking my head. "We are not doing that – plus, there's no reason to do it now. I made the team."

He looks at me, his lips pursed together in a thin line, as he sits down on his bed again.

"Come on, dude! It would be awesome! What better way is there to celebrate you?"

"What is better than dipping tampons in ketchup? Geez, I don't know." I joke and he looks at me a bit annoyed.

"Come on, Lopez! I promise that I will – I will…um…owe you." He says pleadingly and I sigh because I know I am about to give in. I still need to be on Puck's good side, especially since we are teammates now and I can't have him ignoring me on the field.

"Okay -But you owe me!" I tell him and it causes him to fist pump in victory.

"How many have you got?" He asks me as he sits down at the edge of my bed. I shrug my shoulders as I dig through my bag.

There are a total of four boxes on my bed now and I know that I have many more hidden in my make-up bag – but I'm going to need that myself.

"We still don't have any ketchup." I realize after a moment and Puck frowns for a second.

"That is not a problem; we'll just call Sam and tell him to come here." Puck says as he reaches into his pocket to retrieve his cellphone.

"Why do we have to call Sam?" I wonder. "Does he like, randomly carry around ketchup?"

"No – I'll just tell him to steal some in the cafeteria on his way here." He replies as he types a number into his phone and holds it against his ear. I sit in silence as he speaks to Sam and after a while, Puck asks me if it is OK if Finn comes along too and I nod.

I am so tired, I think as I lay down on bed again. And yet I have a feeling that this night is just about to start.

* * *

**What do you think? Any comment? Any ships you want to see? I have, as you've noticed (hopefully) introduced a lot of characters from the show and many of them are single and ready to mingle. **

**Ps: I'm making Finn a loser…Like a sir! Muhahahah **


	5. Chapter 5

**What I am getting from all the reviews is that people want more people to fall in love with Santana? **

**_HDIHDIOAHDUIAGDIASGBDIHASDAS gyuftydrsrestdyfuik _I I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!**

* * *

Chapter 5

There is a light knock on our door and Puck moves to open it.

"Took you long enough…what the hell happened?" Puck says as Sam and Finn step into our room. Puck peeks out in the corridor before he closes the door and moves to sit down on the floor again – next to me. Sam moves away some junk, which lies on the floor, with his foot before he sits down but Finn remains standing. He probably figured that he wouldn't fit on the floor without folding his long legs in half.

"The cafeteria was locked…" Sam says as he crosses his legs.

"But, you – you got the ketchup, right?" Puck asks worriedly and Sam answers by pulling out a bag from his jacket. "Oh, good – that's good."

"Finn and I had to go all SWAT team on that door." Sam chuckles and Puck narrows his eyes at him.

"What?" I ask and look at Sam who uncrosses his legs again.

"You know 'open the door now or we'll kick it in!'" The blonde guy says in a somewhat darker voice.

"You kicked in the cafeteria door?" I ask worriedly but I calm down when both Finn and Sam shake their heads.

"No…we fiddled with the lock…" Finn says with a small smile.

Puck and I placed all the tampons on a towel on the floor before Sam and Finn came over and now we are all sitting in a circle around them. Well, apart from Finn. I pick one up and sigh.

"Are we going to do this or?"

"Hell yeah, Sam and Finn didn't go through all of that trouble for nothing." Puck exclaims eagerly and picks up one as well. Sam opens the bag he is holding and tips it over so that a bunch of small boxes of ketchup falls down on the floor.

"Let's dip them in ketchup and like hang them on a stick or something. We can't carry them with our hands – it will be too messy." I say as I stand up to find a stick – or an object that has a similar shape.

"Um… I don't think I have a stick in here…" Puck says as he stands up as well. I carefully scan the room and realize that he is right. Nothing in here is in the shape of a stick. Puck taps his finger to his lips as he looks down at his feet.

"How about using a shoelace? Wouldn't that work?" He wonders after a moment and bends down to take off one of his shoes.

"Probably…" I say and watch as he removes the lace from his shoe and throws it too me.

"Let the fun begin." Sam says and clasps his hands together.

All of us pick up one tampon each and one box of ketchup. I look at Sam as he tears his ketchup-box open and then put it down on the floor in front of him.

I remove the plastic on my tampon and gently dip it into my box before I attach it to the shoelace. I look back at Sam again and he presses his tampon into the small box with a lot of force. I wonder if he realizes that the tampon is actually too big to fit the box… When he pulls it out, his fingers are just as red as the tampon, and instead of drying them off on the towel, like I did, he puts them into his mouth. I look at him with disgust but quickly look away when he notices that I'm watching.

"Dude, what the heck is that?" Puck lets out as Finn is about to attach his tampon to the shoelace.

"Um…what do you mean?" Finn asks as he glances at the tampon that is dangling from his hand.

"You are supposed to take the plastic off!" Puck hisses at him. "Dude, seriously?"

Finn's mouth forms a small 'o' as he retrieves his tampon and starts to fiddle with it again. His hands gets messy and he seems to be having some trouble finding the part where he is supposed to tear it.

"Just take a new one." I tell him before I reach for the garbage can to my right, next to the desk, and hold it out in front of him so that he can throw it away.

We sit in silence for a long time, focusing on covering all my tampons in ketchup and attaching them to Puck's shoelace – which used to be white…, but is now red.

"Do you think that this is what it looks like?" Puck asks as he holds out a ketchup covered tampon in front of him.

"Gross." Sam says and is just about to say something else when I interrupt him.

"No," I say confidently and shake my head. "It doesn't."

They look at me for a moment and that's when I realize that I am not supposed to know what it looks like. Um…I-I mean, isn't blood darker?"

"But I'm not talking about blood, I'm talking about _period_." Puck says as he swings the tampon back and forth. "I mean can you imagine what it must be like to pull it out of-"

"All set!" I interrupt him and snatch the tampon from his hand before I place it on the shoelace together with the rest.

I stand up and motion for the others to do the same, Puck is the first one to get to his feet and he rushes over to sneak a peek out the window.

"It's very dark…" He says and shivers a bit before he turns around and places his hands in his pockets. "Is it late enough?"

Finn fishes out his cellphone from his pocket and is forced to squint his eyes when the screen lights up. I didn't realize that we were sitting in the dark…I guess my eyes had adapted to it.

"It's a couple of minutes past midnight…" He says in a loud voice and everyone in the room turn to glare at him.

"Will you keep it down?" Puck hisses at him before he turns to take one last peek out the window. "Most people must be sleeping now, right?"

"Yeah, I would be too – if I wasn't here." Sam says as he flips his hair and combs his fingers through it.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I say as I stretch out the shoelace, filled with around 30 tampons, in front of my face and scrunch my nose. "Come on." I add as I fold the lace in two, so that one of my hands is free, and open the door. I slowly walk out of our room and make sure that there is nobody in sight, before I start walking along the corridor.

"Where exactly are we supposed to put these?" Sam whispers as he comes up behind me. I look at him with a small smile and shrug.

"I don't know…Puck?" I say as I turn my attention to the guy on my other side.

"The upper corridor maybe…and ….um – around the principal's office, I think." Puck whispers while he points at a flight of stairs which we then quietly begin to climb. As we walk through the corridor, we make sure to leave a tampon on every other door-handle and every time we walk by a vent system, Finn gets to reach up and tie one of them to it. That way, the whole school will be stinking of ketchup tomorrow morning and since not a lot of people are as tall as Finn, they are going to need ladders to take them down.

"We should write something on the windows!" Finn suggests as we walk by some of the school's larger windows. Sam, Puck and I, who are walking a couple of steps ahead of him, turn to look at him with our index fingers placed against our lips.

"Do you want to wake the whole school?" Puck asks him with a frown but then he bites his lip and nods. "That's not a bad idea, though." He looks at me and I roll my eyes.

"What do you suggest we write?" I ask Finn who shrug his shoulders.

"Anything…we could write something really bad….or maybe a joke about periods or something."

I hand him one of the few tampons we have left and nods towards one of the windows.

"Just write something – but hurry up because I am starting to get very tired."

Finn stands still for a moment but then he places the tampon against the window and starts to write. He only draws one line before he pulls his hand back and shrug.

"I have no idea what to write." He whispers and Puck holds out his hand and tells Finn to let him do it. Puck then removes Finn's failed line with his sleeve and starts writing. _This school sucks! I am bloody serious! _He then throws the tampon on the floor. We keep walking and keep spreading tampons around us – until we only have one left. We ponder what we are supposed to do with it and after a couple of minutes; Puck decides that we should attach it to the principal's sign, on his door. So we do.

* * *

When we _finally _get back to our messy room I crawl down in bed and throw the cover over my head and my entire body. I force myself to stay awake and sit up again. I still haven't checked my schedule yet- and it was because of me wanting to do that, that got this whole 'adventure' started. I got to admit, it was kind of funny. I reach into my bag and pull it out.

_Math, Literature, History, Lunch, Spanish – _I frown and throw the paper down on the floor. _Puck was right, _I think. _This school – Bloody sucks. _We brush our teeth and fall asleep as fast as we lay down in our bed.

* * *

I wake up only a couple of hours later by students slamming their doors in the rooms next to ours. I bury my face in my blue and white striped cover before I reluctantly sit up with a groan. I take my pillow and throw it on the guy sleeping in the bed next to mine and nudge him with my foot before I get up and walk into the bathroom.

The bathroom smells of perfume, which I guess is my fault, and it makes me a bit nauseous. My feet drag me over to the mirror and I wince when I see my reflection. I have bags under my dark eyes and every hair on my head is standing in different directions, making my head look like a hedgehog. I wash my face but leave my hair – I figure I might as well just wear my brother's black cap today. Due to the fact that I am too tired to care about my looks today, I put on my dark jeans, a boring white t-shirt and my standard red hoodie. When I am somewhat pleased with the way I look I make my way into our room again and find that Puck is still lying outstretched on his bed.

"Hey, get up!" I order him as I grab my pillow from his bed and throw it back on mine.

"No." He mutters and turns his head away from me so that his face is facing the door instead.

"Come on…" I say cheerfully and walk over to the other side of his bed so that he is facing me again.

"Why?" He grunts in annoyance and opens his eyes too look at me for a second.

"Well, because,-"I start to say, but stop to look down at my cellphone, which is clutched in one of my hands together with my schedule. "Because we started about half an hour ago and this will be the second day in a row that we are late." When he doesn't respond I bend down, so that my face is closer to his, and whispers: "We don't want to miss everybody's reaction, do we?" That comment alone made him lift his head from his pillow.

"I'll be out of here as soon as I can –you can go ahead without me." He mumbles as he turns his pillow over and puts the side of his face down on it again. I guess 'as soon as I can' could translate to: 'When I feel like it'. I give him a small smile, which he obviously doesn't see since his eyes are shut, and walk out of the room.

"Oh, shit!" I cry out as I open the door right on a cleaning-lady who is pushing her cart of cleansers and brooms in front of her. "I'm sorry."

She rubs her arm on the spot where the door must have hit her and shakes her head with a small smile.

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault." She says kindly as she moves her cart a bit so that a group of students can walk past her. "I shouldn't have walked that close to your door…I was kind of asking for it." I chuckle a bit and close the door behind me.

"Yeah, but if you had been walking in the middle of the corridor you would have run over several students, so." She nods at me and takes a deep breath.

"Yes, you are right." The woman lets go of her arm and places both of her hands on the cart again. "Oh well, that was a pleasant break. But I better get going. This school is a total mess today." I bite my lip when she says this and look down at my feet. If I look into her eyes she'd probably be able to tell that I am guilty because my eyes are probably shining of regret. I give her a half smile and tell her that I am sorry. At this point I don't know if I am apologizing because of the bruise she'll probably get on her arm or for the fact that she is forced to clean up the mess _I_ made. I should be the one walking around with that cart.

On my way to the math classroom I walk past two other cleaning-ladies and a janitor. _It wasn't that bad – what we did, _I tell myself as the school bell goes off -signaling that the first period is over.

Instead of going in to the classroom and making up a lie about my absence, I decide it's better to just get going to the next class straightaway.

* * *

I am the first one to arrive in Mrs. Sander's classroom and I walk over to one of the desks in the front rows and sits down. When the teacher sees me, she removes her glasses and puts them in her grey hair. Then she looks at me with an unreadable expression.

"You look tired." She notices and places both of her elbows on her table. "You had a busy - eventful night, hadn't you?"

I take off my cap and place it on my desk as I slowly, hesitantly, shake my head.

"No, I'm just tired."

"But you haven't slept much?"

"Um…no, I – I had a hard time falling asleep last night." I lie and I am one hundred percent sure that she is on to me. _What? Did she like see me or something?_ "So instead of sleeping I read a couple of pages in that book you gave me."

Mrs. Sanders removes her glasses from her head and clean the glasses with her sleeve before she put them back on as a couple of other students show up.

"Were any of those poems you read extra memorable?" She asks me while she raises her eyebrows. The name 'Lord Byron' pops up in my head, I think it was written on the cover of the book she gave me and I pray to God that my mind isn't playing games with me.

* * *

After the month of studying Edgar Allan Poe in English, my old teacher made us choose one poem that we thought was beautiful and then she made us read it aloud in front of the whole class. Everybody in my class, except a girl named Alice, protested against it but my teacher ignored our complaints and told us something that I never believed in – until now. Her exact words had been:

"At one point in your life, maybe at a wedding or at a meeting or maybe even at a funeral, you might find yourself in the position of having to make an improvised speech. But what if you have nothing to say? Huh? Wouldn't it be great to just be able to pull a poem out of your pocket and read it? I am sure that people would be very impressed if you got up on that stage without prior warning and manage to share a beautiful poem that you know by heart. I know that I would be impressed."

At the end everybody read their poems to each other and even though it felt super awkward, it was funny. But I _don't_ want to do it again. The best poem of that day was the one Mercedes told us. She walked straight up on that stage in our auditorium and sang the poem 'All that is not gold does not glitter' by J.R.R Tolkien. Yes, she sang it. She received a standing ovation and of course I was the one who had to go up after her when the bar had already been raised to impossible standards. I chose the poem 'She walks in beauty' by Lord Byron. I knew that poem by heart –I still know it by heart.

* * *

And as Mrs. Sanders repeats the question I nod.

"Yea…Um –There was a poem by Lord Byron that I fell for." I say quietly and hope that she will just leave it and get on with teaching since almost all students have arrived now.

"Can you share it with us?" She asks politely before she walks away to shut the door. I gulp and start fiddling with my hands. _She can't force me, can she?_ I wonder and watch her as she writes the name 'Lord Byron' on the blackboard. _Crap! _I whisper as I mentally freak out.

"Hugo, will you share the poem with us?" She repeats as she motions for me to come forward. _You are not really giving me a choice, _I think as I nod.

"I am gonna stay in my seat though" I demand and she crosses her arms and smacks her lips.

"Sure." Mrs. Sanders gives in after a moment and sits down behind her table.

"And I won't recite the whole poem." I add before I clear my throat. "Okay, so this poem is called 'She walks in beauty' and like the blackboard says, it's written by 'Lord Byron'." I take a deep breath and try to find something to focus on – I end up looking at my hands.

"She walks in beauty –like the nigh –of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright –meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellowed to that tender light –which heaven to gaudy day denies." I stop speaking but the teacher puts her head in her hands and tells me to continue. Once again, she leaves me no choice.

"One shade the more, one ray the less, had half impaired the nameless grace – which waves in every raven tress – Or softly lightens over her face: Where thoughts serenely sweet express – How pure, how dear their willing place….I don't really remember the last verse." I lie, of course I remember it.

Mrs. Sanders applauses me and forces everybody else to do the same. I sink further down, into my seat, and refuse to look anywhere but forward. I chuckle a bit to myself because I find it very ironic that, yesterday, I decided to 'act cool' so that I wouldn't come off as a geek. Well, who is the geek now?

As the applauses fade away the teacher moves to stand in front of the class and she orders us to get up from our seats as well. She tells us to form groups with around four members and once again, just like yesterday, everybody starts moving –except me. I almost expect Brittany to walk to me, but as I throw a glance over my shoulder, I notice that she is making her way over to another girl. I am looking at her so intently that I don't realize that someone is standing next to me. He has to fake a cough to get my attention. It's a jock – I remember him from soccer practice and if I'm not mistaken, he was in the winning team. _Joe. _

"Hey, man." He says as he holds his fist out for me. I gently hit mine against it and give him a small smile. His dreadlocks are tied together in a weird looking bun and his semi unbuttoned shirt reveals a cross, which is dangling form a chain around his neck, on his chest. All I can think about is how washing that hair must be a real pain in the ass – if he washes it, that is.

Rory, who I also remember from soccer practice, joins us together with a boy in a wheelchair. He introduces himself as Artie.

"Why are we doing this?" He wonders and the teacher clasps her hands together.

"Well, Artie, there is going to be a little competition within this class…" She says and taps her fingers on her lips for a moment. "I clearly didn't think this through. There needs to be at least six people in every team not four…That means that there will be exactly two groups with seven members and one group with six…yes."

Everybody in the room turn to look at each other and when nobody show any interest in actually moving, the teacher tells us to pair up with another group. I look at the guys next to me because I bet they know everyone in here a lot better than I do.

"Can we pair up with Sugar and Britt?" Joe asks me as he nods towards the two girls with a small smile.

"Sure." I say and can't really hide my excitement when Brittany and another girl comes walking towards us.

"Hey, Brittany – and hello…you...um- Sugar?" I say as they sit down next to us. Brittany smiles while the other girl ignores me. Or, maybe she doesn't ignore me…but she pays all her attention to Joe. Brittany nudges her, so Sugar turns her face to me and tells me hello.

The teacher waits a couple of minutes before she speaks.

"All set? Good. Okay, well, if everybody looks here-"She says as she pulls out a box from a drawer in her desk and waves it in the air. "In this box there are about five envelopes and all of them contain the name of a famous play by William Shakespeare and a couple of small notes with different characters names written on them. I'll start handing out these envelopes that will decide which play you as a group are going to perform later on as a roll play. It will be a very good lesson for you and very entertaining for me."

"What's the prize?" Sugar asks suddenly and it causes the teacher to look at her quizzically.

"Excuse me?"

"You said earlier that it was a competition, what do the winners get? It better be something remarkable since I already have pretty much everything."

"Is a good grade a good enough prize?" Mrs. Sanders asks with a small smile.

"Yeah, cause I have pretty much everything –except that." Sugar says and some of our classmates giggle.

"Where was I now?" The teacher says as she looks down at the box in her hands. "Oh, right! Well, you can do this assignment as seriously as you'd like –I'll only grade your creativity and not the actual performance. So try to recreate the play and make it modern."

She starts handing out the big white envelopes and when she reaches our desks, she gives it to Brittany.

"Should I open it?" Brittany asks us as she looks down at the item in her hands.

"Yeah, do it." Joe tells her so she begins to tear up the envelope. She picks up a small red plastic card and looks at it with a small frown.

"We got Romeo and Juliet, didn't we?" Artie asks with a sigh as he looks around the classroom to catch a glimpse of everybody else's reaction to whatever play they got.

"No." Brittany replies quietly as scrunches her face. "I don't know this play."

"Oh, is it Macbeth?" Artie asks with a smile as he gives the people, sitting next to us, a proud smile.

"No." Brittany says again as she puts the card down at the table. All of us lean in to read and after a couple of seconds, all of us slouch back down in our seats.

"This play is so complicated!" Artie lets out in frustration. "I have read it several times but – but how are we supposed to perform this?"

"It's not that bad…" I chime in and everybody glares at me.

"Do you even know this play?" Artie asks me, just out of curiosity, not to be mean.

"Yeah, of course I do! Who hasn't heard of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?" I chuckle and Artie joins in.

"I just said that I don't know this play." Brittany says and both I and Artie go silent.

"And I don't understand…I thought we were going to play a game?" Sugar blurts out and looks at us quizzically.

"I'm just mad we didn't get Romeo and Juliet…" Joe informs us.

"Let's just see what characters we get!" Rory speaks up and everybody agrees with him.

Brittany nods as she opens the envelope and turns it upside down over the table so that all the notes fall out. We decide to just take a note so I grab the one closest to me. I unfold the note and read the name out loud: 'Lysander'.

_At least I get to play a boy, _I think to myself. _Although I would obviously be able to rock a dress and all that – but that would be too risky, people would realize the truth._

"I will play 'Oberon', whoever that is." Joe says with a small frown before he turns to look at Artie.

"Titania…" He mumbles very quietly which makes it almost impossible to hear.

"Who are you going to play?" Sugar asks him and I have to cover my mouth to be able to prevent myself from bursting out laughing.

"Titania!" Artie repeats louder and both me and Joe chuckles.

"Oh! I can't wait to see you in a dress!" Rory chuckles before he looks down at the note in his hand.

"I'll play…" He goes silent for a second. "…Hermia"

"No way –I am not kissing you!" I exclaim and now it's Arties turn to laugh.

"Girls," Rory says as he looks at Brittany and Sugar. "Can I switch with anyone?"

"Yeah, we can switch." Brittany says as she hands him her note and takes his in return.

"But- but this didn't change anything, Brittany? Now I still have to play a girl. 'Helena' is also a girl." Rory says and holds his hand out to get his note back.

"No… There is no taking back now." She says and clutches her note to her chest.

"Is 'Demetrius' a guy or a girl?" Sugar asks as she holds her note out between her middle –and index-finger.

"A boy, he is a boy." I answer her and she gives her note to Rory.

"Okay, good. Everybody is happy now." Joe says with a smile and everybody joins in, except Artie, who is sitting with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, come on Artie." I say as I reach across my desk to nudge his arm. "You get to be Queen, how cool is that?"

He gives me a fake smile before he turns to look at the teacher who is writing something down on the blackboard.

* * *

**I had to split this chapter in two parts... (don't hate me :-) ...and next part contains all the juicy aftermath of their little prank. **

**Ps: If you could choose. What would you like to see more of? I am obviously working on bringing in more Brittana, so I've got that covered. But anything else? And don't say: More people crushing on Santana/Hugo (sugo?Hantana?) Lol. Because the whole school already loves her!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I just read 'The fault in our stars' and I am such an emotional wreck right now – exactly like I was after reading 'Before I die'. Ever read any of those books? **

**So sad…almost like reading color but…not really like reading color. Okay, I just remembered that this isn't a book circle, although I wish it was. Moving on****…I'm gonna go and cry in a corner now while you enjoy this**

**PS: I love your comments! Okay, Quinntana - check. No Faberry – double check.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 **

The literature class goes by extremely slowly and I guess it is somewhat our own fault. My group decides not to actually do anything today and that we will 'think' about our play until the lesson next week.

So I sit behind my desk the entire class, flicking through the work book, trying to keep my eyes off Brittany. I obviously fail miserably and she catches me staring several times.

All the other students seem to be over the moon about this assignment and are already deciding clothes and all that crap.

I rest my head against my hand just as the teacher informs us that the time is up and that we all should get going to our next class.

Joe, Rory and Artie run/roll out of the classroom immediately but I stretch my arms above my head before I make a move to leave. I get up from my seat before I reach for the envelope on the table. Someone has to take care of it until our next lesson and I figured it would be me.

Even though skin feels a lot different than paper –it takes me a couple of seconds to realize that I have taken a hold of someone's hand, instead of the envelope.

"Oops, sorry, I was reaching for the envelope." I apologize to Brittany who pulls back her hand and places it in her other.

"Oh, that was –erm…okay, me too. But you can take it if you want to." Brittany says with a small smile as she motions for the envelope that is still lying on the desk between us.

"No, no. You can take it." I insist as I put my hands in the pockets of my hoodie.

"This is boring –I don't like boring. Sugar Motta is out of here." Sugar says as she flings her purse over her shoulder and exits.

"Okay…" Brittany smiles as she picks up the envelope and places it in her bag. "So, I'll see you tonight?" I nod but when she says goodbye and starts to walk away, I frown. _Tonight, she wants to see me tonight?_

"Wait!" I almost yell at her and she turns around and looks at me with arched eyebrows. "Um –what's tonight?"

"Oh," She lets out and shakes her head a little. She glances at the teacher and bites her lip before she speaks. "Well, it's the cheerios annual party –all the soccer guys are invited."

"I- I didn't know." I stammer out as I lean against my desk but stumble when the desk starts to slide away from me. I quickly stand up straight before I discreetly scratch my neck. "See, see you then –then." I smile and she nods before she leaves.

When she is out of sight, I grab the book from my desk and hit it against my head.

"Hugo, are you making a habit of always being the last student to leave my classroom? I knew you liked literature –but really?" Mrs. Sanders asks me teasingly as she removes the hairpin that is positioned at the back of her head so that her gray hair falls down in her face. She combs her fingers through it before she fixes her hair again and puts the hairpin back on.

"I don't now, it just happens." I answer with a shrug.

"Just like it _just_ happened that you lied to me?" She lifts her eyebrows and places the frame of her glasses between her teeth. "About the reason you are so tired I mean."

"I-I wasn't-"

"Hugo, I don't know if I am angry or…or pleased with you." Mrs. Sanders lets out with a sigh as she puts her glasses on the table and starts cleaning them with her sleeve.

"What do you mean?" I look at her quizzically and bite the inside of my cheek. _Ouch, there comes the taste of blood again. _

"What I mean is that…how do I say this- well first of all 'Lord Byron' does have a section in that book I gave you…but the poem 'She walks in beauty' is not written in it –so should I be mad that you lied to me or happy that you seem to have a genuine interest in literature?" She gets up from her seat and holds the door open for me. "I'll let it go this time."

"Thank you." I say as I walk past her and stop outside of the classroom to look at her. "And I am sorry." She frowns so that the wrinkle in her forehead becomes a lot deeper. It almost makes her look like one of those wrinkly brown dogs that look like teddy-bears.

"What exactly are you sorry about?"

"Mostly for disappointing you and letting you down, even though you believed in me enough to give me that book –which I will read, later." I tell her as I take a couple of steps back, still looking at her.

"Nonsense, you haven't disappointed me at all." She smiles as the bell goes off. "Ah, get out of here now."

* * *

I jog upstairs to where my 'history' lesson will be held and the first thing that hits me when I open the door to the corridor is the smell of ketchup. _Wow, so that actually worked, _I think with a small smile plastered on my face.

The door to the history classroom is the first door you see when you step in to the corridor and at this moment, that door is wide open and students are pouring into it. I ruffle my hair a little and smoothen my shirt before I walk up to the door and steps inside.

"Ah, you showed up in time today." The teacher acknowledges me and then turns his head towards another student and says something.

"You make it seem like I'm always late…" I look at him as I take a step forward to make room for another student to pass me.

"Well," The teacher begins with a small smile as he clasps his hands together. "Seeing this is the only lesson you have ever showed up at…ever, I-."

"I just started." I scoff at him and he answers me with a small smile. I am just about to ask him what we are studying today when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey, Hugo – you finally showed up on time!" The brunette girl says happily and I throw my hands up in the air and look back at the teacher who raises his eyebrows as if to say: "Ha! I told you so!"

"Yea…I finally showed up…hey, Rachel." I say as I turn to look at her. I scrunch my nose when I see what she is wearing, but stop before she notices me. Her white blouse is tucked into a greyish skirt that ends just above her knees. But that's not what I was scrunching my nose at –No, she is also wearing a pair of pink knee- high socks. I think she is mistaking my staring for 'checking her out, because when I look back at her face, she is smiling at me with a small, noticeable, blush upon her cheeks. I scrunch my nose again –and this time she sees me.

"Um –I –It really stinks here, don't you think?" I try to cover up the fact that she caught me staring at her in disgust. Hurting her feelings is not on my agenda today –or tomorrow –or any day for that matter. Rachel was the first person, besides Blaine, to really notice me and make me feel welcome.

"Yeah, it does! It does stink!" Rachel answers me in a loud voice. She turns to give a girl in the back of the classroom, a look that says:" I told you so!"

"Some students believed it was fun to vandalize this school last night." The teacher chimes in. "The principal had to call in all cleaning staff this morning. Those poor people had to drag themselves to work on their day off."

"I bet it was a group of Jocks!" Rachel exclaims but then looks down at the floor when she sees my face. I bet it is full of regret and hurt. "Sorry, I didn't mean –not you, of course. More like…Puck!" She almost spits his name out at the exact moment Quinn walks into the classroom.

"Talking to my boyfriend again, Berry? –About! Um, I meant about my boyfriend."

"Would you honestly be shocked if it was he who did it?" Rachel asks her calmly and flips her hair over her shoulder. Quinn huffs at her and puts her hands on her hips.

"It's none of your business. Go dip your nose in someone else's life. " Quinn says and the teacher interrupts her by putting his hand out in the air between them.

"Hey! No fighting in my classroom." He says seriously as he sits down in his seat again. "If you want to fight, do it in Mrs. Westlaw's company." He then adds quietly. "And go to your seats. The lesson has already begun and you are all in the way of my teaching."

"Hugo, do you-"Rachel starts but stops when Quinn begins to pull me away from her and towards two seats further off in the classroom.

"Aren't you going to thank me?" Quinn whispers as we sit down next to one another. I frown at her a little and it causes her to roll her eyes. "You know…for saving you from spending the next hour with Blabbermouth Berry."

"Um…I-"I start but Quinn smiles at me as she shakes her head.

"You don't have to thank me!" She giggles and I look at her a bit confused. "God, you are so cute!" Quinn then adds with a quiet squeal.

"What?" I ask her a bit surprised and she shakes her head again before tells me that she didn't say anything. "Okay…" I look at her with an even deeper frown.

"Have you heard about the party? My party…Cause you are invited." She says after a moment of silence. "It will take place in the inside arena."

"Yea, Brittany told me about it and I will-"

"When did you talk to her?" She interrupts me and this time it is her time to frown.

"We work together in out literature class…"

"And she invited you?"

"Um…She just asked if I was going…"

"What did you say?"

"That I would go and see her there."

"See her? Okay, but you are going? That's good."

"Can the two of you be quiet before I kick you out of here?" The teacher chimes in and all the students turn to look at us. Rachel, who is sitting in front of me, gives me a sad smile before she turns her attention back on the teacher –who continues talking about…something. I am not really paying attention to his teaching.

"I will keep a beer cold for you." She whispers and I nod as I bite my lip. I am just about to tell her that I am not really a fan of beer when my cellphone vibrates in my pocket. Normally, I would leave it until the class is over, but considering I've almost broken about every rule at this school already, I might just break another.

I fish it up from my pocket and glance down on it as the screen lights up. It shows a text from Mercedes.

'_Hey gurl! Wat r u doing this weekend?'_

I type back a reply as I try to look like I'm listening to what the teacher is saying. I am not really convincing anyone because normal people don't smile at their hands.

'_Wheezy! Miss u like hell! There's a party tonight and soccer practice tomorrow, but Sunday is free.'_

'_Practice on a Saturday? Really? OK. Tina and I'll drive over tomorrow!' _

'_Yes, she's worse than Sue! And saaaaay wuuut?'_

'_I can't believe that. I just, cant. WE ARE SO EXCITED!'_

I tap my fingers on my screen for a couple of seconds. Sure, I would like Mercedes and Tina to come over but I just got over missing them.

'_UISHAIUHHIUHIDSHI! ME TOO, See u then!' _I reply. It's not a lie; I am really looking forward to seeing them.

My phone beeps again and this time the screen shows a small smiley-face.

"Who are you texting?" Quinn whispers to me curiously as she fiddles with the hem of her shirt.

"Mercedes, she's a girl at my old school." I answer her casually and her mouth forms a small 'o'. I shake my head at her as I put my phone back in my pocket. "She is just a friend." I don't really understand why I felt the need to reassure her about that but at least she seems happy about it.

She moves one of her hands to my arm and starts removing some, non-existing, lint from my red hoodie. I stare at her hand for a moment before I ask her what she is doing. The surprise in my voice must have made Rachel curious, because she turns around to look at us.

Quinn leaves her hand on my arm, but instead of "removing" lint, she starts to move her hand up and down, slowly. Rachel rolls her eyes and lets out a fake cough.

"Shouldn't the two of you be listening to Mr. Scott?" She hisses at us and snatches my book from me. She flips the book open and places it back down, in front of me, when she has found the right page. "History's worst people…" She reads the headline before she looks at Quinn with a small, fake, smile. "I didn't know that the author dedicated an entire section for you and Puck?" She scoffs before she turns back in her seat. Quinn clenches her fists and stares at the ceiling as she lets out a big breath.

I shake my head to nothing in particular as I move the book a bit closer to me and starts reading. The pages seem to be never-ending just like the chapter that seems to go on forever. That, together with the fact that I am suffering from loss of sleep, is a deadly combination. I find it really hard to keep my eyes open and I doze off several times –each time I wake up by the sound of someone moving.

I am just about to doze off again, after being woken up by Rachel who moved her chair a bit, when the speaker lets out an earsplitting noise. I sit up in shock and in the corner of my eyes; I can see that Quinn is still reading. I couldn't have been the only one who heard that, I think to myself.

Before I get a chance to really ponder the question, the speakers let out that sound again. But this time it is followed by a voice.

"Hello students and teachers." I immediately recognize the voice to belong to the principal. "As you all have noticed, and I apologize for it, the school has been somewhat vandalized early this morning. I together with some of the staff have been trying to find the people who did it. But to no luck." I let out a big breath and a smile is just about to take form when he continues talking. "That was until very recently…We just got an anonyms accusation against one of the students. Whether this person is guilty is yet to be proved –So can I ask Hugo Lopez to come to my office –immediately." When he stops talking, everybody is looking at me, again.

Rachel shakes her head at me as I stand up to leave. I am just about to walk away when Quinn grabs a hold of my wrist.

"Hugo…" She says quietly. "Just tell them it was someone else…"

I give her a small smile before I free myself from her grip and starts walking the shameful way towards the principal's office.

* * *

He asks me a lot of questions: Like, where I was yesterday and if somebody was with me and stuff like that. I don't deny anything.

"So…you admit that it was you?" The principal asks a bit taken aback. I give him a small nod as I try to come up with a decent apology…But my mind is unfortunately in a way too bad shape to function.

"Did anyone help you?" He asks seriously as he leans towards me. All I can think about is how much I wish that he would stop looking at me like I am some kind of lost soul that is in need of his guidance.

"No." I lie and shake my head. "I was alone."

"It was really you who wrote that this school sucks on that window?" The principal asks me as he combs his fingers through his short, curly hair.

"Yup, it sure was" I answer him before I sigh and bite my lip. "I didn't really mean it though…I just needed a rhyme."

"Uh-huh…Well, Hugo. There is not much I can do besides giving you detention this weekend and calling your mother."

Some detentions I can handle –but I can't handle my own mother.

"Please don't call her!" I plead him with a hunch of desperation noticeable in my voice. "Please don't bother her –she already knows I am trouble. That's why she sent me here in the first place."

"I have to call a parent; it's a part of the procedure."

"Can't you just let it go, for now. Just this time, please?" I ask him and he goes silent for a while.

"Hmm…On one condition." He finally says.

"Anything…I'll do almost anything."

"You don't cause any more problems - and if you do, I'll call her to take you back home." I nod at him and let out a breath of relief.

"Thank you!" I say before I stand up to get out.

"And by the way…I admire the fact that you don't rat your friends out…but wouldn't it be better if they shared the punishment?"

"Nah – I was alone, remember?" I tell him with a small smile before I leave the room.

* * *

I walk, still in shame, back to the classroom and everybody eyes me as I walk back to my seat and sit down. Rachel turns and looks at me with her lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Was it you? -Why did you do it?" She asks me quietly and her expression sends shivers down my spine. Her face is radiating of disappointment and it reminds me of my mother. My mom has looked at me like that too many times to count. I shrug my shoulders and she gives my hand a small squeeze before she turns around again. Quinn's gaze is burning into to the side of my face so I turn to look at her with one raised eyebrow.

"What?" I ask her and it causes her to smile a bit.

"Nothing…"She answers, but keeps staring at me with the same expression. I can't tell whether she is happy, surprised, mad, confused or crazy…maybe a bit of everything. All of the sudden she grins, showing all of her teeth, and then she starts chuckling at me and it catches me off guard. Her blond hair, which is dangling from her ponytail, almost hit my face when she shakes her head before she puts her hands against her mouth so that the teacher won't hear her.

"What is it?" I repeat and cross my arms over my chest. "What did I do?"

"Nothing –I- I just…never mind." She giggles and then she takes a deep breath to calm herself. "It's just kind of ironic."

"What is?" I ask her with a frown. She isn't making any sense at all.

"Nothing…just forget it." She says right before the bell goes off. "…See you tonight." She then adds before she walks away.

Rachel turns in her seat and stares at me for a moment before she stands up and heads towards the door. I catch up with her and grab her wrist, forcing her to face me.

"It was a bad joke…" I tell her and Rachel nods while looking down at our almost joined hands. I let go of her and clutch my book closer to my body. "I am sorry."

She looks at me with a quizzical expression before she smiles a bit and straightens her skirt.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" She wonders and it makes me question my action as well.

"I – I don't know…because you are my friend and I didn't tell you?" I tell her, but it comes out sounding like a question.

"I'm your friend?" Rachel asks with a grin and I shrug. "Well, I'm not mad at you, not really. Just a little bit curious..." She says as we start walking towards the cafeteria.

"About?"

"Where did you get all those…you know, from?" She almost whispers and I roll my eyes at her.

"Ugh, I bought them." I tell her and it causes her to gently hit me on my arm.

"You actually planned this?"

"No! Well, sort of – yes, uh, I don't know." I say and it makes her laugh at me and can't help but join her.

* * *

I am in my room resting after the last lesson when I suddenly realize that I won't actually be seeing neither Quinn nor Brittany at that party –since I won't be going. Mr. Schuester made me sure about the fact that he will be keeping an eye on me and I can't, I won't, cause any more problem. He told me that he would be visiting me regularly this weekend to make sure that I am keeping my end of the agreement and I don't want to know what he would do if it turned out I wasn't here.

I place my pillow over my face and kick my legs a couple of times before I lay still in my bed. I am at that point where I am so tired that I just can't sleep. It almost hurts when I close my eyes, but it hurts even more to keep them open. I know that Puck will be finishing his last class soon at come back to our room. I don't want to fall asleep only to have him wake me up in a couple of minutes.

I feel restless just lying still in my bed, so I grab my phone and start typing a really long message to Hugo. I tell him about everything –absolutely everything. I am not even a bit worried that he might tell anyone since I have been keeping his secret for about seven months now. But I figured that he deserves to know that I am pretending to be him…

I am just about to finish it and hit send when Puck arrives. I quickly type a goodbye and send it before I place my phone on my stomach. Puck walks around in our room aimlessly for a moment before he stops in front of the giant mirror and fixes his Mohawk.

"What are you wearing for the party tonight?" He asks me as he begins his usual hunt for clean clothes.

"I'm not going." I say and I notice that I sound a lot more disappointed than I thought I was.

"Oh," Puck starts as he stops in the middle of the room. "About that…Thanks for not ratting on us, man." He looks at me with a small smile before he continues to search for clothes.

"No problemo." I tell him as I place one hand under my head and sighs.

"What?" Puck chuckles at me. "I only understand English."

"Um – no problem…" I frown at him and shake my head as he nods at me with a small smile.

* * *

About an hour or so later, he is gone, and I fall asleep immediately. I don't know for how long I sleep but when I wake up, it is pitch black outside. I blink a couple of times to adjust to the darkness and sit up just when somebody knocks on my door. Or maybe they knocked before and I slept? Maybe I woke up because they knocked?

I stumble out of my bed and try not to trip on anything as I walk towards the door. I hold my hands out in front of me like a zombie and when I reach the door I start touching the wall in search of a light switch. When I finally find one and the whole room lights up I have to cover my eyes for a moment or else the intensity of it would certainly have made me blind.

I am still squinting my eyes when I open the door and it takes me a couple of seconds to make out the principal's features.

"Ouch, I woke you up?" He says and smiles when I nod. "I am happy to see that you are here –for a moment there I thought you might have gone to that party anyway." I shake my head and he tells me to go back to sleep and then he leaves again.

"I am already awake now you moron!" I speak as I close the door and I know that he is too far away to hear me. "Go back to sleep." I mimic him as I walk over to the window and look out. It's dark and almost impossible to see anything except the arena, which is lighting up pretty much the whole campus. If you look closely it is possible to make out some people walking around outside, having fun.

My stomach grumbles and that leads me to thinking about something else entirely. Food. The cafeteria is unfortunately closed after seven - and I am pretty sure that it is past seven... I walk out of my room anyway –to stretch my legs.

* * *

I end up standing with my face pressed up against the window of the cafeteria. Everything in there, the water-taps, the breadbaskets and all the plates and glasses are covered with white cloths.

After realizing how pathetic I am being I head back towards my room. I sing quietly to myself as I am walking and I guess I just kind of shut the real world off for a moment because when I arrive at my door, I realize that Brittany is sitting next to it, on the floor.

I freeze and stare at her for a moment before I take a couple of steps towards her to unlock my door.

"Brittany!" I let out in surprise and it causes her to stand up.

"Hi." She says as she combs her fingers through her long blond loose hair –no ponytail.

"Hey!" I say just as eagerly as before and mentally kick myself. "Why –I- aren't you supposed to be at that party of yours?" I stammer out after a moment of intense starting – at least from my part.

"Yeah, but it was super boring there…And it's not really _my _party you know?" She starts with a smile as I open the door and look at her. "And I- ugh I overheard Finn talking to Puck…about the prank."

"Oh…" I say and look down at the floor instead. "Do you want to come in?" I hold the door open for her and she smiles before she steps inside.

"And…uh –well Finn kind of let it slip that it was he who wrote on the window." Brittany tells me as I guide her towards my bed. I motion for her to sit down at the edge of it.

"It doesn't surprise me that he did." I chuckle a bit and Brittany joins me.

"No…" She giggles. "But I thought it was a bit mean of them to let you take the blame for it all…and they got to go to an awesome party while you are forced to be here…surrounded by Puck's garbage."

"What awesome party? You just said it was boring." I raise my eyebrows at her and she smiles at me. It kind of makes my heart flutter.

"Yeah, for me it was. Because I was walking around feeling sorry for you and I couldn't focus on having fun." Brittany claims as she glances towards the window.

"You didn't have to come, I could-"

"No, I wanted to."

We sit in silence for a while and for the first time I become aware of how close we are sitting. Her leg is grazing against mine and every times she moves a little, her hair tickles my shoulders. She is wearing a pair of high-waist leather pants and a short top with butterfly patterns. She is also wearing a military-green jacket. I suddenly find it hard to look at anything but her long legs.

"Why did you come here?" She asks after a while. "I mean –not- not that I don't like that- that you are here…"

I chuckle a bit at her and for the first time since I came here; I really wish that I could tell her the truth.

"My mother thinks I need it…to learn how to behave, um- to avoid getting in trouble."

"Ah, and that's not working very well for you, I suppose…"

"No, it clearly isn't." I say as I turn my face to look at her again. "Oh, shit…" I say quietly to myself. Her face is so close to mine that I can almost feel her breath on my skin and that does funny things to me.

"What?" She asks me and I bite my lip. I am about to change the subject and ask her about cheerleading when she opens her mouth to speak.

"Did you know why I wanted to switch my roll with Sugar's?" She blurts out and I shake my head with a quizzical expression. "Well, it's because…two days ago, when I first saw-"She is cut off by a knock on the door and I let out a frustrated groan. I understand that the principal wants to be sure that I am behaving –but this is getting ridiculous. I apologize and get up from my bed and walks over to the door with determined steps.

"Will you stop- Oh, Quinn! Hey." I say as I throw a glance over my shoulder before I step out of my room and close the door behind me.

"Hi." She says and places a couple of loose strands of hair behind her ear. I notice that Quinn isn't wearing her usual cheerleading costume –she is actually wearing a white dress with flower pattern and a yellow cardigan together with a brown belt across her waist. If this had been what she looked like the first time I saw her, my impression of her would have been totally different. She almost looks shy and innocent in this and so different from Cheerio-Quinn. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

I shrug my shoulder and give her a small smile before I tell her that I got a detention. She tells me that she already knew that and that that wasn't the reason she came.

"Then why?" I ask her curiously and look at her as she holds out the hand, which she had been holding behind her back, to me and I am met with a very cold can of beer.

"I told you that I would keep one for you…" She says with a shrug as she hands it to me. "Plus, I kind of missed you there…I had been so sure that you would come." I smile at her as I look down at the can in my hands. "Can I come in, or?"

"Oh, sure…Brittany is here too." I say as I open the door.

"Who was it?" Brittany asks when I step inside, but stops talking when she notices that Quinn is following me.

"Brittany?" Quinn looks at her with her mouth half open. "Why aren't you at the party…I thought we had an agreement."

"I wanted to come here…agreement?" Brittany looks at her with a confused expression as I sit down in Puck's bed and place the beer on his nightstand.

"You know what I mean!"

"So…" I say and cough to get both girls' attention. Quinn glares at Brittany one last time before she turns her head towards me – I look at Brittany who gives me a sad smile when our eyes meet.

"Brittany, you were saying something?" I wonder and look at her when she shakes her head.

"Oh, I –It wasn't important, it can wait." She shrugs as she starts fiddling with one of her rings.

"Hugo," Quinn starts as she sits down next to me on Puck's bed. "How can you live in this mess?"

"I only breathe through my mouth…" I answer her and she chuckles. "Thank you, by the way, for the beer…"

"Oh, that's nothing…there's more where that came from."

"Cool…" The conversation kind of runs dry and after a moment I stand up and escape into my bathroom. When I return, both of the girls are still sitting where I left them, and neither of them is looking very happy. "Hey, you could go back to the party if you want to…"

Brittany looks up at me with a crooked smile.

"And leave you here –never."

"Yeah," Quinn agrees and lies down in her boyfriend's bed. "I might as well wait here for Puck."

I lean against the bathroom door and look down at my feet, which are surrounded by plastic (the kind that comes from a tampon) and I gently nudge some of them in under the carpet. When I look back at Brittany again, she is staring at me with a small smile- so I smile back. That causes her to grin even more - and it makes me all giddy and dizzy so I have to look away. I start laughing to myself and after a couple of seconds I hear that Brittany is laughing too.

* * *

Soon I am hugging myself because laughing starts to become painful and it almost feels like my lungs are about to explode. I know that Brittany is feeling the same way because tears are rolling down her cheeks and she has been gasping for air the last three minutes. I slide down on the floor and place my head against my knees.

"Did I miss a joke or something?" Quinn asks us and that causes us to burst out in even more laughing.

I calm down after a moment and avoid looking at Brittany because I'm too tired to laugh again. I walk over to the window and open it.

"I figured we could both use some oxygen." I say with a chuckle and it causes Brittany to giggle a little again.

There is another knock on the door and I swear that the sound of it made my heart stop beating for a moment. When I open the door, Rachel steps in and turns around so that she is facing me.

"Look!" She says as she holds out her IPhone and a portable speaker. "I figured you were bored so I thought I could come over and entertain you myself. And if you ask me, you are not really missing anything by not going to that stupid party –there are only a bunch of dumb jocks and slutty cheerleaders there." She adds as she starts to remove her red coat. She hands it to me, but stops moving when she gets a good look of my face. My eyes are wide and I am nodding towards something behind her. She throws a glance across her shoulder and then I watch her face as realization hits her.

"Hi." Brittany says as she gives Rachel a small wave.

"Hello." She answers somewhat gently but then she locks eyes with the other blonde and her whole demeanor falls. "Hey, Quinn, what are you doing here?"

Quinn watches her for a moment before she sits up and crosses her arms.

"Well, this is my boyfriend's room…what are you doing here, Berry?" Quinn spits out with a small frown. Rachel just turns back to me and mouths an 'I'm sorry' before she takes a step towards the door.

"Don't go, Rachel." I beg her because I don't want to be left alone with Brittany and Quinn and the awkwardness that they brought.

Rachel gives me a small nod before she walks over to my bed and sits down at the head of it.

"I'm just gonna…put this in." I say as I mention for the items in my hands. They all nod in unison.

The first song that comes on is: 'Peacock' by Katy Perry so I hurriedly change song by hitting shuffle. The second songs that comes on is not any less awkward – 'The Ding Dong Song' by Gunther and the Sunshine Girls. I throw a quick glance at Rachel who is straightening out her skirt, totally oblivious to the awkwardness that is surrounding us all. I quickly hit shuffle again. The next song that comes on is not as bad, so I decide to leave it at that. I walk back to the beds and sit down next to Quinn.

The song that is playing is 'All My life' by K-Ci & Jojo. Rachel is quietly humming along while Brittany has gone back fiddling with her rings. Quinn, however, is bopping her foot up and down, up and down, up and down and it causes the whole bed to shake.

"I like this song." Rachel says after a while and I give her a small smile.

"Have you ever heard 'The Duck Song'? That is a good song…"Brittany lets out and looks at Rachel, who then slowly shakes her head.

"Um- I'll listen to it later…"

"Good."

I am just about to ask them all to leave, by making up a believable excuse, like, I am tired, but then the door flings open and both Puck and Sam stumbles inside.

"Woo!" Puck exclaims with a laugh as he takes the bottle, in his hands, to his lips and empties it. He puts it down on the floor and when he looks up and sees us, he stops moving for a moment. "This is where all the cool people are, Sam!" He slurs. "This is where they are, Sam….cool people, and –Berry."

Rachel scoffs and looks down at her hands.

"You are drunk!" Quinn lets out as Puck leans in to kiss her. "Get off!"

Puck keeps pressing his face against her, so I get up from where I am sitting and grab a hold of his arm. I tug him away from her by pulling at his shirt.

"What?" he chuckles as he stumbles back and knocks over a chair. I look at Quinn who brushes her fingers against her lips in disgust.

"How much did you drink?" I ask him as he tries to pick up the chair he knocked over –but ends up falling on his butt –while laughing hysterically. In the corner of my eyes I see that Sam is stumbling over to Brittany and Rachel so I leave Puck for a moment to take care of Sam.

"Hey," I say calmly as I take a hold of his wrist and pull him over to Puck. I pick up the chair and motion for Sam to sit on it. He is wasted –but not nearly as drunk as Puck. "Can you call someone to come and get Sam?" I ask Quinn who nods.

Brittany and Rachel have moved a bit closer to one another and are staring at Puck who is trying to reach the last drops in his bottle –with his finger. I place my hand on my forehead and shake my head at him.

"Come on," I say as I grab him by his elbow and help him to stand. I then walk him over to his bed and help him to sit down on it. "Just –try to sleep or something."

"Look!" He says as he reaches for the can on his nightstand. "There is a God! And he has sent me more beer!" He tries to open it but Quinn snatches it from him and throws it to me.

"I think I should go…" Rachel says as she stands up. I give her a small hug and remind her to not forget her phone. She nods and carefully walks past Sam to get to the source of the music.

Instead of turning it off, she accidentally presses a button that causes the volume to go up. Everybody in the room have to cover their ears with their hands as the speakers almost explode because of the pressure.

Rachel is just about to turn it off when there is another knock on the door and before I get a chance to even react –the door is open and I am staring straight at the principal.

"What are you doing?" He screams as he tries to make himself heard over the music.

"I-I…" I say but immediately stop when Sam throws up on the floor and some of it lands on my feet. I cover my mouth in disgust and drop the can of beer on the floor. It rolls all over to the principal and ends up right at his feet. He glares at me as he bends down and picks it up.

"You couldn't go to the party…so you though it was a good idea to bring the partying here?" He hisses at me. "And –Rachel…I am awfully shocked to see you here! Turn that music off."

"I-I can explain-"I start but the principal looks at me in utter disgust.

"Hey guys!" Someone calls from behind the principal and two seconds later, Finn steps in to the room. I guess it was him Quinn called.

"More people, how many have you called to come here?" Mr. Schuester asks me just as Rachel finally manages to turn the music off. "Everybody out, go back to your dorms, or go back to your houses!"

Rachel is the first one to listen and she gives me another quick hug before she leaves. Then Finn helps Sam to get out.

Quinn shakes her head at Puck before she crawls out of his bed and walks away. But not before giving me a small wave. Brittany is the only one left and when I turn to look at her I see that she is kind of stuck because of the puke on the floor. I take a step towards her and hold my hand out towards her. She takes it with a sad smile and then she takes a huge step so that she is on the right side of things.

"I am sorry." She whispers before she lets go of my hand.

"It's not your fault." I tell her sadly and we say goodbye to each other before she leaves. Then I turn to look at Will Schuester, who is rubbing his chin with one of his hands.

"How could this have happened?" He doesn't seem mad anymore. I guess the music drove him insane…

"I don't know." I answer him honestly because I still don't understand what just happened.

"Remember what I said would happen if you caused any more trouble?" He asks me sadly as he shakes his head at me disappointingly.

* * *

**Best part? Do you still want more Quinntana? Next chapter WILL be Brittana centric! PS: I am so sorry that this story is so slow moving and nothing really happens. I hope to change that in the next chapter. So make sure to stick around for that!:) Peace out!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Boringsiot: Yay! *Grins back***

**NightNox: I agree! We'll see –we'll see **

**Tin-foil-hatz: That would make good drama! Good idea! I have another thing in mind though…not too different from your idea. Thanks for reading **

**To all of you who commented: I LOVE YOU! I honestly do. **

**This is me: (reading your comments) HDUIGDUISGADYUIGASDUIHASUIGDU *Squeal* **

**I just wanted the world to know ;) And about my tumblr, my URL is written in my profile :-)**

* * *

**Chapter 7 **

The principal turns around and closes the door before he points at my bed and orders me to sit down.

"I know that this looks really bad…" I say as I scratch my neck. "…but this is one of those 'being at the wrong place at the wrong time' situations, you know?"

He leans against the wooden desk and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Be at my office Monday morning –we'll deal with this then." He looks at me slightly disappointed. "I think you already figured this out –but you are not practicing soccer this weekend." He says and then he takes a couple of steps towards the door before I stop him.

"Hey! Pal –um –princi_pal…_that's a good one, right?" I joke but he just gives me a sad smile. "Um –I guess not… Don't send me home- I can explain."

"We'll deal with this on Monday." He tells me again before he scans the room with a disgusted look on his face. "And please, clean up in here."

The moment he closes the door I fall back in my bed and end up staring at the ceiling. The smell of, whatever came up from Sam's stomach, makes me nauseous, so before I fall asleep, I make sure to clean that up.

* * *

I wake up the next morning to the sound of my phone vibrating on my nightstand. I throw a quick glance to my left and notice that Puck is gone, because his bed is empty. I reluctantly reach for my phone and hold it against my ear.

"Hello?" I mumble as I plop up on one elbow and frown.

"Hey, girl –Did I wake you?" Mercedes bubbly voice fills my ear and I fall back down on my pillow again as I let out a big breath.

"You scared me! I thought you were Hugo." I hiss at her and she chuckles. "And yes, you did wake me."

"I just wanted you to know that Tina and I are on our way over now. Prepare yourself for some girl-time, you deserve it and you can thank me later." She says and I can almost feel her smile radiating through the phone. "And why would Hugo calling be scary?"

"Oh, right! I had forgotten that you were gonna come!" I let out as I get out of my bed. "And I sent a text to Hugo yesterday –telling him about everything, I thought he was calling to yell at me." I hold the phone by pressing my shoulder towards my ear so that I can use my hands to pick up a pair of jeans from the floor. I bring them to my nose at sniff them, to make sure that they are clean enough, before I put them on.

"You just love hurting my feelings, don't you? – You 'forgot that we were coming', yeah right." Mercedes chuckles and I roll my eyes at her before I bend down to look for a shirt under my bed.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God" I let out as I stand up and cover my mouth with my hand. Mercedes asks me what's wrong and I shake my head even though she can't see me. "I am turning into Puck! I'm revolting!"

"Who's Puck? And what did you do?" Mercedes asks me and I can hear Tina in the background asking what's wrong.

"He's my unbelievably gross roommate." I say as I walk over to the window and open it. "I have to clean up this mess! Call me when you get here." Mercedes laughs at me before she agrees and hung up the phone.

* * *

After finishing getting ready, breaking in to two broom-closets and getting myself hit on by an old cleaning lady, I am finally back in my room –ready to get dirty.

I put on a pair of pink latex-gloves, which reach all the way up to my elbow, and a mouth guard that I found in one of the closets. I feel like a nurse and I probably look like one too, but I am not taking any chances, you never know what you'll find laying around on the floor here.

* * *

Crawling around on the dirty floor is without doubt one of the most disgusting things I have ever done. Sure, I don't really mind cleaning my own mess; it's a totally different thing cleaning up after somebody else. Especially somebody who keeps their underwear in the same drawer as their hidden food, I mean, who does that?

I have just finished and am about to remove my gloves when there is a loud knock on the door. I spin around and scan the room before I move to open it.

"Hi." It's Quinn and I know better than to be surprised to see her here again.

"Hey." She looks at me with a small smile, but then her expression becomes a surprised one and she uses one of her arms to push me away so that she can enter the room. I hit my back against the mirror-wall and she bites her lips before she mutters an 'I'm sorry.' I smile at her before I rub my back with both of my hands and kick the door shut with one of my feet.

"You cleaned his room!" She says as she traces her fingers along the desk. "I mean your room."

"Yes -It was about time." I say and she huffs at me with a sad smile.

"I broke up with Puck this morning." Quinn suddenly says and I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She covers her face with her hands as she sits down on Puck's bed with a thud. I can't tell whether she is crying or not. Her shoulders are slouched slightly forward and they are jerking up and down –just as if she was crying. But she is absolutely quiet and her breathing appears to be normal. I make an attempt to dig my foot into the carpet as I cross my arms and bite the inside of my cheek.

"Why?" I finally manage to ask her and the only response I get is a simple shrug. I look at her for a moment before I take a hesitant step towards her and sit down. Her face is still covered by her hands and now that I am close to her, I can certainly tell that she is crying. Some of her tears has managed to escape her hands and are rolling down her pinkish cheeks –they are gathering on her chin.

Slowly, they start to drip and lands on her lap with a small, inaudible, splash. I nudge her with my arm to get her to look at me, but she doesn't do anything besides letting out a shaky breath. I grab a hold of one of her hands and tug it away from her face. "Hey, it's okay."

"He hates me!" She sobs as she looks down at her lap, her eyes barely open.

"I'm sure he doesn't." I reassure her while I squeeze her hand.

"No, I mean it. He even told me." She snivels and moves her hand, the one I'm not holding, across her chest, so that she is hugging herself.

"He's an ass." I console her and it causes her to chuckle a bit.

"I know." She sniffles as she dries her tears using her hand. "But I liked him."

"Liked?" I ask her and she nods. "What made you change your mind?"

"I don't know…" She looks at me with a small smile before she squeezes my hand and stands up. "Will- will you come and watch me at cheerleading practice this- this afternoon?" I give her a small nod and she lets out big breath before she turns away and walks out of my room.

* * *

After Quinn has left –I walked straight to the cafeteria where I ate my breakfast in peace and quiet. Some of the jocks tried to wave me over to sit with them but I ignored them.

I am nearly finished and is just emptying the contents of my cup into my mouth when my phone vibrates in my pocket, causing me to spill some orange- juice on the black t-shirt I'm wearing. I clean it up with my hand before it leaves a stain and then I dry my fingers off on my pants – saying that I am starting to develop some really nasty habits would be an understatement.

I reach for a napkin instead and rub it against my pants before I toss it on my plate and reach into my pocket.

_We are here! Looking for a place to park the car –come out and greet us!_

It's from Tina and I roll my eyes before I put my phone back in my pocket and take one last bite of my sandwich and then I push myself away from the table and get up from my seat. I sprint down the stairs and out of the building and when I spot Tina and Mercedes getting out of Mercedes car, I rush over to them.

* * *

"Hi!" I shout at them and both of them let out a squeal as they take a couple of quick steps towards me. I embrace them both in a tight group hug and when I step away from them, I leave my hands on their shoulders.

"You look the same." Tina smiles at me and instead of just rolling my eyes, I roll my entire head.

"It hasn't even been a week yet." I chuckle and jokingly push her away with the hand that was placed on her shoulder. I drop my other hand too as I give Tina a warm smile. I had forgotten how much I was missing them and seeing them reminded me about that.

"Are there any cute guys here?" Mercedes asks me and I raise my eyebrows at her. "Or girls, either way is fine. Are there any cute _people _here?" She corrects herself and I bite my lip a little.

"No." I say bashfully and now it is Mercedes time to raise her eyebrows at me.

"I have a hard time believing that, especially when you are making that face." Mercedes says and I look at her quizzically.

"What face?"

"The 'I can't help thinking about someone' –smiley –face that you are sporting."

"It's just my face –it's the way it looks and I can't really help it."

"Uh-huh." Mercedes says knowingly. "So…are you going to show us your dorm?"

"Um…no, we can do that later. I promised someone that I would come see them –um, at cheerleading practice –you guys don't mind doing that, right?"

Tina and Mercedes shrug so I lead them over to the field where the soccer-team is currently practicing. We sit down at the edge of the field just as the cheerleading squad steps out of their changing room after having a small break.

"Didn't you say that you made the team?" Tina asks me and I turn to look at her instead of the cheerleaders.

"Yes. Yes, I did."

"When are you going to tell us that you quit? Or got kicked out? Or voted off?" Mercedes chimes in as she points her thumb in the direction of the field. I look at her as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pack of gum. She offers a piece to both Tina and I and I unwrap mine and throw it into my mouth before I speak.

"I didn't…I'm just not allowed to practice today." I tell them and both of their faces turns into a giant question mark. "I'll explain later." I add just before somebody taps me on my shoulder.

"I am so terribly sorry about yesterday." Rachel says as she kneels down next to me. "I had no idea that Mr. Schuester was on his way."

"It's fine." I tell her and she lets out a big breath

"Good! Because I have been thinking about you –it- I have been thinking about _it_ all night." She stammers out before she flips her hair over one of her shoulders and gives me a shy smile. "I can- I can make it up to you."

"You don't have to do anything R-"

"I want to! I feel bad. I could cook you something."

"You have a kitchen in your dorm?" I ask her astound and she shakes her head with a small giggle.

"No, I obviously don't." She smiles at me. "But I don't exactly live here –at this school."

"I thought everyone did."

"Oh, but they don't. I think it's about 50/50. People who live here does it because it's too far away from home or they might have trouble at home or stuff like that…It's kind of individual I guess."

"I had no idea." I say a bit surprised and she smiles a little before she bites her lips and looks down at the grass.

"So?"

"So?"

"Do you want to come over to my house sometime?"

"Sure, when?"

"Maybe tomorrow…? I could…we could fix lunch together or something." She looks at me nervously so I give her a reassuring nod before I tell her that we'll see each other tomorrow then.

Rachel disappears just as the cheerios arrive at the small field next to the one the soccer-team is practicing on. I turn my head to the right just to catch Quinn giving me a small wave which I immediately return.

"Thanks again for finally cleaning!" She shouts at me and I chuckle at her.

A few moments later Brittany comes running across the big field. She is late and Quinn doesn't seem very happy to see her. I give Brittany a small smile when she sees me.

* * *

"Damn, girl –um…boy…you are crazy popular here." Mercedes says with a smile.

"What?" I chuckle at her and shake my head. "What are you talking about?"

"Um…only about the fact that that girl was totally checking you out –she wasn't even hiding it!"

"Who was checking me out –and when?" I ask her as I bite my lip and look to my right where the cheerleaders are stretching out a couple of meters away.

"The girl…that was just here…" Mercedes tells me before she looks over to Tina, who nods.

"Rachel?" I ask her and scrunch my nose. "She is just my friend."

"Well, she is still looking at you…" Tina chimes in and nods towards the cheerleaders. I follow her line of vision and sighs.

"She's not even there. So she can't be looking at me…"

"Wait, who's Rachel?" Mercedes asks me as she unwraps yet another piece of gum and throws it into her mouth.

"She's a brunette…she was just _here." _I mimic Mercedes before I blow a bubble with my own gum and it pops all over my face. Tina laughs at me as I use my fingers to remove the sticky mess around my mouth.

"What? No, not her…" Mercedes frowns. "I am talking about that blonde."

"Oh, you mean Quinn?" I ask her as I throw a glance over my shoulder and spot Quinn standing in front of all the other cheerios, with a megaphone in one hand and a stopwatch in the other. She shakes her head at someone before she points to one of her feet and puts it in front of the other. All the other girls mimic her and then they add some other moves –they are probably practicing their routine. "She was just being kind and waved to me because I share a room with her boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend."

"She is the blonde one? Yeah- I mean her." Mercedes says before a guy comes running past us and she gives him her flirtiest smile. I smack her leg and she hits me back before she opens her mouth to speak. "Um…she was checking you out, I tell you! She wasn't even being subtle!"

"Was this before or after she thanked me for finally cleaning my room?" I ask her and Mercedes frowns at me.

"What? I guess I'm not talking about her either –I mean the one who didn't say anything –well that glance she threw in your direction when she walked past you – that spoke volumes." Mercedes tells me and I chuckle.

"Oh, please. Brittany looked at me because I was standing in her way. What did you expect her to do? Close her eyes?"

"No…But seriously, Santana, are you blind?" Mercedes smiles at me and licks her lips before she nods towards something to my right. I roll my eyes before I turn my head to look at the group of cheerleaders again. Brittany is standing among everyone else, the only difference is that her head isn't pointed towards Quinn –it's pointed towards me. I look at her for a moment and she gives me a small smile before she resumes practicing the routine.

"I told you!" Mercedes exclaims and claps her hands together.

"What?" I look at her with my lips pursed together and she lets out a big breath before she frowns at me.

"That she likes you! That you are popular! I was right about everything!" She lets out a bit frustrated.

"You don't know what you are talking about." I say as I throw yet another glance at Brittany who, together with another girl, catches one of their teammates in their arms and smiles.

"It's so obvious!" Tina finally joins the conversation. "She even gave you the sweetest smile just seconds ago, and don't act like you didn't see it."

"She didn't smile _at me –_it was just a smile in general…You might as well sue her for being cheerful."

"The smile looked pretty specific to me…" Tina says quietly and I shake my head at her.

"Okay, fine, she smiled at me –but that doesn't mean that she likes me! A lot of people smile at me, all the time." Mercedes and Tina give each other a knowing smile before Mercedes puts her hands on my shoulders and shakes me. "What?"

"Stop being so stupid, Santana!" She bellows at me with a small smile.

"Stop it!" I groan at her as I grab her wrists and push her away from me. "Fine, okay! Say she does like me, it wouldn't change anything!"

Mercedes places her hands in her lap as she looks down at the ground for a moment. The cheerleaders start running laps around their field so we sit in silence and watch them a couple of minutes. Quinn runs ahead of everybody else and every now and then, she stops and orders the rest to do some kind of exercise. For example, she tells them to do some push-ups, sit-ups, jumps or cartwheels. The last exercise mentioned is by far my favorite to watch – and it has nothing to do with the fact that the motion causes their skirts to go up.

"If she likes _you, _do you think that she would care that _you _are a girl?" Tina asks me suddenly and I flicker my eyes between her and the cheerleaders for a moment before I sigh and look down at my hands.

"I don't know…" I answer her with a shrug. "I guess- I guess I'm not used to people liking me and that's why this whole thing feels so weird."

"Are you kidding me?" Mercedes asks in bewilderment. "People always like you! Have you totally forgotten about your old school? Half of the soccer –team had a crush on you. That's why they came to watch all of our games."

"Yea…the male soccer-team - with guys in it..." I look at her and it takes a couple of seconds for her to really get what I am saying. "I am not used to having girls crushing on me…and she is so beautiful."

"Talk to her." Tina blurts out, and when seeing my expression: "Oh, come on -what is the worst thing that could happen?"

"I could fall in love with _her_." I mumble and give Tina a sad smile.

"I think you are already falling…" Mercedes pitches in and raises her eyebrows at me. "Wouldn't you regret it forever if you didn't try? –I mean, what if you have to spend the rest of your life thinking 'what if'?"

"Well, that's better than spending the rest of my life feeling guilty." I say, almost in a whisper.

"Why would you feel guilty?" Tina questions me with a small frown.

"What if she really grows to like me…and then she finds out that the person she fell for doesn't exist. I couldn't –wouldn't do that to her."

"Then you have to come up with an excuse to avoid talking to her." Mercedes mutters as she starts pulling up grass from the ground. She then spreads the grass on her legs and waits until the wind carries it away.

"I'll deal with that later." I say and Tina shakes her head from side to side.

"You might want to deal with it now…" She scrunches her nose at me. And after a while she adds: "You seriously have to deal with it now."

"Why?" I ask her and she nods at something behind me.

"Because here she comes…Hurry, Tina, look busy!" Mercedes lets out as she picks up a book from her bag and flings it open on a random page. Tina starts fiddling with everything around us while looking somewhat stressed; she almost looks like a child, trying to find a good hideout while playing hide-and-seek. She finally settles with 'pretending' to sunbathe. The sun isn't even out –it's hiding behind a cloud.

* * *

I brush the grass off my pants before I inhale deeply and stand up. Brittany stops a few meters away from me and looks down at her hand as she bites her lip. She blinks a couple of times before she takes the remaining steps towards me.

"Can we –can we talk?" She asks me before she gulps and bites her lip again.

"Um –sure, we –we talk…we can talk." I stammer out and Brittany asks me if we can go and sit down on the bleachers and I nod at her. When she turns around and starts walking I turn to look at my friends with eyes wide in shock.

"What –what should I do?" I look at them in distress. Tina sits up and Mercedes closes her book before they look at each other and giggle. "Come on!"

"Go!" Mercedes chuckles at me. "She's leaving!" I throw a glance over my shoulder and realize that Brittany is already heading towards the bleachers.

"Oh my God –Oh my…What did I do? Why- She's gonna ask me to stop staring at her for sure! You know, in literature class, I swear that she caught me looking at her one million times. And once I-" I ramble, but Mercedes throw a handful of grass at my face and it causes me to stop.

"Oh, thanks…I needed that." I say as I shake the grass off of me before and start to spit at the ground since a couple of blades got sucked in there. I let out a big breath. "Wish me luck!"

I jog up to Brittany and when I am close enough, and she hears my hitched breath, she turns to look at me and I come to an instant halt. She looks at me quizzically so I kneel down to tie my shoelace –even though it's already perfectly tied…and she can see that.

She climbs a couple of steps before she sits down and I sit down next to her. I realize that I have sit down unnecessarily close to her so I scoot away a bit. But then I am afraid that she might think that I don't _want _to sit close to her –so I scoot back. But as my legs press up against hers, together with the rest of my body, I immediately scoot away again –because unnecessarily close suddenly turned into creepy-close. Now that wasn't weird at all_._

"You wanted to talk?" I say as I turn to look at her and I can see that the corner of her mouth is twitching, like she tries to keep herself from smiling but is failing miserably.

"Yeah…" She says before she grins at me and looks down at her hands resting in her lap. "It's –It's just that…"

"I can't stop staring…" I mumble and she frowns at me.

"What?"

"What?"

"You said something…"

"Did I? No –no I don't think so."

* * *

The sun is starting to set and everybody on the soccer field is starting to head back towards the school- or towards their homes – towards wherever they might live. All the cheerleaders have split up as well and the only one remaining on the field is Quinn. She is walking around collecting cones and other pieces of equipment. She looks as if she is deep in thought and even when all the equipment has been removed –she continues to walk around the field, aimlessly.

The day's last ray of sunlight reaches us on the bleachers and it dazzles me –forcing me to focus on anything except what lays in front of me. My face is burning and I can't figure out whether it's a result of staying in the sun or the result of sitting next to Brittany. Either way, I keep my face away from her view. I don't want her to think I'm blushing.

"When did it become so warm outside?" Brittany asks me and in the corner of my eyes I can see that she unbuttons her cardigan, which she must have put on after the cheerleading practice to stay warm.

"I don't know…" I say as I dry my sweaty hands on my jeans. "But it's nice."

"Mm, yes it is." Brittany sits up straight before she turns so that her whole body is facing me. "I have been thinking about something, a lot." She then tells me. I ask her what and she smiles a little before she answers. "Well, are you really going to let the other guys get away with everything? I mean, first the prank - and now the party-thing."

"It doesn't matter…the principal is probably calling my mom on Monday and then I'm out of here."

"What?" Brittany lets out as she grabs a hold of my arm and squeezes it. "Why?"

I look down at my arm and it causes her to release it and move her hand back to her lap again.

"Because apparently this school doesn't give people third chances… I messed up. I got in trouble the first day –you can't blame the principal for wanting me miles away from his property."

"But it's not fair." Brittany says quietly and then she is silent for a while. "But –But who is going to play 'Lysander' now?"

"I'm sure Artie will be happy to switch to 'Lysander'." I affirm and it causes her to wrinkle her nose.

"No – so I'm kissing Artie now?" She lets out and then she makes a throw up motion with her hand.

"He's not that bad!" I chuckle at her and she shrugs. "I bet he is a good kisser."

"You are missing the point." She giggles as she tightens her ponytail…but then she removes the tassel entirely and her hair falls down over her shoulders.

"What's the point?" I ask her as I clasp my hands together because I am fighting the sudden urge I got to comb my fingers through her hair.

"Exactly- What's the point?" She sighs and places some strands of hair behind her ear.

"I –I'm not really following…"

"I don't really know what I am saying either. I'm just a bit sad that you are leaving, that's all." Brittany looks at me with a sad smile so I reach over and grab her hand. I pull it into my lap and squeeze it.

"I'm a bit sad too, especially because-"

"Actually, I'm not sad."

"You are not?"

"No, I'm mad!"

"You are mad?"

"Yes!"

"Why are you mad?"

"Because this is whole thing is ridiculous! People have done a lot worse than throwing tampons in the corridor and parties in their dorms!" She lets out and I can feel that she tenses up. I try to calm her down by moving my thumb in a circular motion on her hand. She looks down at our joined hands in my lap and sighs. "What is it about you? You are not like anybody I know."

I don't know what to say, so instead I just shrug and offer her a small smile.

"We should probably get back to our dorms…" I say after a while before I stand up.

"Yeah…I don't have a dorm though, but I should probably head home." She says as she stands up as well. I don't want to let go of her hand, _ever, _so I hold onto it until we are standing at the foot of the bleachers. I reluctantly loosen my grip of her and use the same hand to point at Quinn, who is still walking around.

"What is the matter with her?" I ask Brittany who crosses her arms and shrugs. "I think she's mad at me."

"Why?"

"If I knew…I mean, she told the whole cheerleading-squad yesterday, that she had like a super big crush on you, and that no one was allowed to make a move –she also made us swear to never say anything about it, but…I still don't see why she's mad at me."

"Oh." I let out and look at Brittany with a huge smile for a moment. Waiting for her to tell me that she's joking, but she doesn't –she isn't.

"Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow? Maybe watch a movie or something?" She asks me as she looks down at her feet, which are digging into the ground.

"I would love to." I answer her honestly and she looks back at me. Her eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips for a second, but then she takes a step away and smiles. "But wouldn't that go against the agreement?"

"Okay, what is this agreement that everybody keeps talking about?"

"Nothing…"

"So, I drive over in the afternoon and pick you up?" She licks her lips as she says this and I give her a small nod. When she walks away, I make my way over to Quinn.

* * *

"Sit down." I order her and she crosses her arms and looks at me with a frown. "Just sit down –I want to talk."

She scoffs at me as she sits down and I mimic her move. "How are you?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah because I'm not deaf... but why do you even care to ask?" She looks at me with a with a sad smile and I sigh.

"Quinn…" I start but stop to look at her as she places a couple of loose strands of hair behind her ear. "Tell me, honestly. Did you break up with Puck because of me?"

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Not the best chapter… I'm not proud "/**

**But next one will be very interesting. SPOILER:**

**1. There will be a time-jump! **

**2. Somebody will find out! **

**3. Somebody will kiss Santana! **

**4. Somebody will get injured! **

**5. All the "Somebodies" are different characters! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Boringsiot: The YAY was because of your review on the other chapter that said: Can I ask you for a 'yay' on an Unholy Trinity thing going on and actually have a happy ending? ;) Comprendes? And I have never heard that song...*chuckles* and I made you like Pezberry! YAY! Mission accomplished…*bows* **

**Helensuperstar: Injured as in "Ouch*: D**

**Some of these guesses that you have made are pretty close :O Well done –well done indeed. **

**I'd like to apologize for making the last chapter so incredibly boring and weird…I think I was a bit hangover when I wrote it…LOL. No I'm totally kidding, it's not like it was my graduation party two days ago or something. I'm kidding…I barely even drank on that party and- (Sorry for rambling, I'll stop now.) **

**BUT THIS CHAPTER IS WORTH READING. I ACTUALLY LIKE IT Enjoy….**

* * *

**Chapter 8 **

**(We now jump 4 days forward and arrive at the day of the soccer-game!) **

'[…] and I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more…' I stop singing for a moment to apply some shampoo on my head and rub it in. If there is one upside to having short hair, it's definitely the fact that it is so easy to manage. No need for conditioner, no need to comb it and definitely no need to blow-dry it after showering. I increase the power of the shower before I reach for the nearly empty shampoo bottle and hold it out in front of my face again.

'And if I haver, yea I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you- And when I'm dreaming…well I know I'm going to dream, I'm going to dream about our time when I'm with you – And I would walk 500 hundred-'

Suddenly the door to the bathroom opens and I drop the bottle to the floor as I bring my arms up to cover my upper-body.

"Are you deaf? I asked if-"Puck freezes when he sees me and I immediately crouch down to hide myself behind the walls of the tub that I'm standing in. His eyes are wide and he shows no signs that he is even thinking about getting out. I know that I'm busted; otherwise he would have walked away by now. "You-you…" He then starts and I let out a big breath as I point to the towels that are piled up on the toilet next to Puck. He gulps as he reaches for one and then he take a small step and extends his arm. I have to stretch my arm hard to reach it but I don't say anything and for a while, neither does he.

"Dude –you're a girl."

I wrap the white towel around my body before I stand up to turn off the shower.

"I can – let me explain." I say quietly and he stumbles backwards. He involuntarily sits down on the toilet, knocking the pile of towels to the wet floor. "First of all-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Puck looks at me with a frown. "You should have told me." He then stands up and walks out of the room. He slams the door shut and the sound startle me so I jump a little.

* * *

When I have gotten dressed and walks out into our room, Puck is laying on his bed fiddling with a loose thread on his blanket. I let out a shaky breath before I move the chair a little, so that it is standing in front of him, and sit down.

"Are you mad?" I ask him and he doesn't answer me. But I can see that his jaw is clenched and that his eyebrows are almost touching, because of how much he is frowning. So I guess my question was kind of pointless. But I just wanted to break the ice and get him to talk. "If you are mad why-"

"I'm not mad!" He says bitterly and it causes me to scoff at him.

"Yeah –right, I can see that." I look at him with a small frown but then my features turn soft again. "I wanted to tell you the truth…"

"Then why didn't you?" I raise my eyebrows at him because of how silly his question is. Of course he knows that if I told him the whole school would know it too.

"I was scared."

"Were you scared of me?" Puck sits up and places his feet on the floor. It almost looks as if he is ready to leave –but he just sits there.

"No-"I chuckle and then I turn serious again. "Of getting sent home –or…"

I stop talking when Puck leans forward and grabs a hold of my hand. He intertwines his fingers with mine and I look down at our joined hands for a moment before I speak.

"Um…there's another thing…erm…that I want to tell you as well." I say and he squeezes my hand. I want to free myself from him and take a couple of steps back. But he is looking at me with the saddest of eyes and I can't bring myself to do it. "I –I like –girls. I love girls…actually." He slowly nods his head at me and when he finally understands his mouth forms a small 'o' and he carefully lets go of my hand.

"Um…that's cool." Puck says as he sits up straight again and returns to fiddle with the loose thread.

"I know…but I wanted to tell you."

"Thanks."

We sit in silence for a moment and I wonder how long it will take before he asks me why I did it –why I am doing this.

It is bright outside and- I know this sounds cheesy- but the birds are chirping and I am pretty sure that a pair of them has built a nest in the tree outside our window. It looks like it's going to be a perfectly sunny day- maybe a little too hot for playing soccer, but anything is to prefer compared to the rain we have been practicing in the last three days.

"Why do you pretend to be a guy?" And there it is.

I explain to him that the coach at my old school is retiring and that it means that girls won't be able to play there anymore. I tell him about the day I made the decision to cut my hair... Actually, I tell him the whole story. About everything that lead up to this moment. I tell him about how Rachel confessed her love for me and that makes him laugh. I also tell him about Brittany and he asks me if she knows, I tell him that she doesn't. Eventually I dare to tell him about Quinn and even though it makes him kind of mad; he still offers me a small smile.

"What's your name?" He finally asks me after a moment of peaceful silence.

"Santana –my name is Santana Lopez." I get up from the chair and walk over to my bag, which is lying next to my bed. I open it and pull out the photograph of me and my old soccer-team. I throw it to him and he looks at it for a moment without saying anything. "I'm standing in the middle…number 7." He nods at me and then he puts the picture down on his bed.

"Anyone ever told you that you're hot?" Puck wonders and I chuckle a little at him.

"Maybe…" I reply and it causes him to shake his head.

"Well, you are…you can believe me." He begins. "I have seen you naked." He then adds and I grab my pillow and throw it at him.

"Is there any chance you could just forget about that?" I ask him and when he shakes his head teasingly: "Oh, come on Puck!"

He shakes his head again and when he places my pillow under his head I get up from my bed and try to snatch it from him. He is obviously stronger than me and no matter how hard I pull at the corner of the pillow; he still manages to keep it there under his fat head. "Give it back!"

"Never-"He chuckles and rolls over so that the pillow is now resting underneath his stomach. "Make me."

I launch forward and sit down on his lower back as I try to pull my pillow out from underneath him. He chuckles and just as I grab it the door flings open and Sam, Joe and Finn steps inside. I hurriedly jump back to my bed as Puck sits up and hands me my pillow.

"Oh, sorry for- um interrupting you." Finns says as he moves to sit down at the chair.

"No worries…we were just messing around." Puck shrugs and then he gives me a small smile. I don't think that he understands what it must have looked like in their eyes…where I'm still a guy.

"Two hours left before the big game." Sam is the one to break the awkward silence.

"Three and a half hours left until we win." Joe fills in and Puck leans forward to high-five him.

"Only one hour left before warm-up." Finn beams and everyone turn to look at him with a small frown before we shrug it off. "I can't wait to get this over with…I'm so tired."

"Is it safe?" Puck suddenly asks me and I worriedly shake my head at him. This, right here, is the reason I didn't tell him in the first place. "For you to play- I mean?" He then adds as if I didn't get what he meant the first time.

"Why wouldn't it be safe for Hugo to play?" Sam asks Puck with a quizzical expression. "He's like the best guy we have."

"What I mean was-"Puck starts.

"What he meant was: Is it safe for me to play on an empty stomach. I haven't eaten yet…I get mad when I'm hungry…It's bad." I interrupt him and Finn stretches his arm up in the air.

"You don't have to hold up your arm, thread head!" Puck looks at him and Finn slowly lets his arm fall down.

"What is it Finn?" Sam asks him and Finn motions to Puck's drawers.

"Um- doesn't Puck keep food in there?" He asks and then he looks at me. "Maybe you could grab something from there."

I don't get a chance to answer that because Puck gets up from his bed and opens his door.

"Maybe _you_ could go and buy her-go….Hergo -Hugo something to eat." Puck then says and I face-palm myself. Finn nods and then he asks Sam and Joe to go with him. They are all out of here just as fast as they came in.

I can't believe Puck almost let it slip, twice, he is so careless that I feel like my head is about to explode.

"Smooth." I sigh and then I walk back into the bathroom to gussy up before the game.

* * *

To be ordered to sit on the bench and watch your teammates suck just because you are a new addition to the school really sucks. It hasn't even been half period yet and we are already losing. Carson High has scored three goals and we have one. That's 1-3 and it's a big difference. I am sitting with my head placed in my hands as I watch the game that is taking place right in front of me.

Puck has had several chances to score but each time he tries to shoot, the ball kind of flies off into another direction…like his foot is crooked or something.

If it wasn't for the fact that we have Dave Karofsky as a goalkeeper the score would probably be around 1-15 instead. So a big shout-out to him for being awesome.

Puck does it again just now, gets the ball and loses it – he even earns a glare from Finn…and that must mean that he has hit rock bottom. I don't know what's up with Puck, he is usually super skilled. At first I think it's because he is nervous but then I realize it's probably because of the fact that Finn is the second forward…which pretty much means that Puck is the only forward...which means that he has to do all the work himself up there.

The bleachers are pretty much filled with people- family and friends who has driven in to watch- and in the beginning of the game they were all cheering, jumping up and down and waving their small red and white flags while shouting words of encouragement. Now they are pretty much sitting the way I do, with their faces hidden in their hands due to embarrassment and just like me; some of them has started to watch the cheerleaders instead of the game.

The girls are spread out next to the bleachers, on the right, where they are stretching and warming up to perform during the halftime. I haven't talked to Quinn since the evening I spent in her dorm. It doesn't matter anyway- I don't think she wants to talk to me.

* * *

I eagerly bop my feet up and down on the grass as I turn to look at my team instead. What I would give to play. One of the guys from Carson shoots the ball super hard towards our goal but because of Karofsky that shot was all for nothing. Karofsky runs out of the goal and kicks the ball as hard as he can so that it goes flying through the air and lands right in front of Sam - in the middle of the field. Sam is also a pretty good player and he dribbles his way past three guys before he loses the ball to another guy.

Puck throws his arms up in the air and then he places them on his head while scowling at Sam. Like he would have done it so much better himself. Puck is truly starting to piss me off. I bite my lip and just when I have gathered enough courage to walk over to the Coach and demand her to let me play, I feel a tap on my shoulder and when I turn my head I find myself staring right down Brittany's shirt.

Her hands are placed on her knees and she is leaning forward. I scoot away slightly to get a better look of her and to avoid finding myself in that position again. She must have thought that I moved to give her space because she sits down next to me and places her hand on my lap.

"Excited?" She smirks and I am stuck staring at her lips for a second before I fake a cough and smile.

"We are losing." I snicker and it causes her to bump her shoulder against mine.

"It's because you haven't played yet. When you get out on that field –you'll turn this game around."

"You really think so?" I ask her stunned and she nods while offering me a sweet smile.

She leans her head against my shoulder and as I bring my hand up to touch her cheek I spot Rachel in the crowd, staring at us. So instead I place my hand on her shoulder and gently push her away. Brittany looks at me with a crooked smile and then she leans in and kisses my cheek before she stands up to walk away. Before she leaves, she leans down again so that she is standing behind me with her mouth close to my ear. She grabs a hold of my collar and pulls me closer.

"Are we meeting up at your dorm after the game?" She whispers and I nod as I turn my head slightly to the right so that my cheek brushes against her lips. She places a wet kiss there before she squeezes my shoulder and skips away. I bring my hand up to my cheek as a huge smile forms on my lips. A whistle blows –signaling that half of the game is over and that it is now time for a break.

* * *

I jog up to my team that is making their way into the locker room. Beastie is walking ahead of everybody and she looks angrier than usual – I think I might be afraid of her…

"Hey!" I call out when I see Puck and I rush up to him. "What's going on?"

"We suck! That's what's going on!" He lets out bitterly as he sits down on one of the bench-rows and uses his shirt to dry his face.

When everybody is inside Beastie closes the door and then she kicks the laundry basket on her way over to us. My mother would freak out if she saw that. I giggle to myself and when Beastie sees it she sends me a glare that gives me icy shivers.

"What are you doing!" She shouts as she places her hands on her hips and looks at everybody on the team with a disappointed expression. "You –"She takes a couple of steps backwards and sits down on one of the benches. Her face softens and she combs her fingers through her short curly hair before she speaks again. "I thought we had a chance –I really did."

"It's not over yet, Coach." Karofsky says as he removes his gloves and stretches out his fingers. "I'm not letting one more ball into that goal."

She purses her lips together before she sighs.

"I look at this team and –and I am proud. No matter what happens out there…I am proud." She says and if I didn't know better I'd think she was on the verge of crying. "I remember how poorly we played just five months ago –or last week…" She frowns and then her eyes settle on me. "Do you want to play, kid?"

"Yes!" I let out a tad too eagerly and she chuckles at me as she rubs her hand under her nose and sniffles. "I'd love to."

She stands up again and walks over to the white board, which we have on one of the walls, and then she looks at it intently as she rubs her chin.

All the other kids and I look at one another, wondering who will be put on the bench this time and most of them are probably hoping that it won't be them. Puck is staring down at the floor with a sour expression, Karofsky is still massaging his hands, Sam is looking at Beastie with narrowed eyes, Joe is trying to fix his dreads into a nice bun while Rory is…Is he kissing a four-leaved clover? What I am trying to say here is that everyone are doing different stuff to keep themselves focused on anything but the fact that their Coach might put them on the bench.

I look to my right, to where Finn is sitting, and I can't help to roll my eyes. Finn is sitting there with his usual crooked smile on his baby-face while leaning slightly forward with his legs pressed together, like he needs to poop or something…please pick him. I don't want to look at him but at the same time I am finding it very difficult to look away. He suddenly starts hugging himself as he closes his eyes and inhales deeply.

"If you need to poop just do it." Jessie says after a while and I mentally thank God that I wasn't the only one looking at him. Upon hearing Jessie's comment, Beastie turns around and her eyes go immediately to Finn.

"What is the matter now?" She sighs like she is tired of him…she probably is.

"I- I ate some pills and I think I might be allergic to them –cause my stomach hurts." Finn mumbles and Coach Beastie immediately puts down the whiteboard pen before she kneels down in front of him.

"What pills?" She asks him and I think it is safe to say that there is a hunch of worry in her voice.

"A guy gave them to me…"

"Hold up a cotton picking moment…what guy? Why would he do that?"

"One on the other team…I told him I was tired and he gave me these…caffeine pills?" Finn looks around at us and everybody let out a big breath. Out of relief? –No- but out of frustration.

"How many did you take?" Beastie asks him with a frown and when he shrugs she smacks his head. "Stupid."

She mutters something to herself as then she picks up her phone and dials the number to Finn's mother.

When she is done talking she motions for all of us to get out on the field again and we don't need to be told twice.

I take Finn's place and before the game start I spin around on the field to see where the cheerleaders are at. I don't see them. I do see Finn sitting on the bench next to Beastie, still holding his stomach, though. Before the game starts Beastie's somewhat annoyed voice fills the whole arena:

"Oh, stop mewling, Finn! Next time you might want to think twice before you start popping pills like a common drug addict!"

"Oh burn!" Somebody shouts from the bleachers and then everything goes silent. I look over to my left where Puck is standing and I give him thumbs up but he waves his hand in front of him like I just sent him a fly.

* * *

The whistle goes off and without me really acknowledging anything, the ball is at my feet and people start to shout my name. A big guy launces forward and is running towards me. I look down at the ball and then back at the guy again and just before he is about to take it, I put my foot on it and make it roll back. I spot Jessie behind me and when I know that he will get to it before the other guy I run. Not far. But just until I am sure that I am standing all alone.

Jessie doesn't pass the ball back to me, like I expected him to do; instead he passes it all the way down to Karofsky. Who in turn picks up the ball and kicks it all the way back to me. I guess that was a pretty good move too. I shoot the ball as hard as I can to my left and thankfully the ball lands only a couple of meters away from Puck.

When he realizes that it is impossible for him to get away from the guy that is trying to take the ball from him- he kicks it out towards one of the sidelines. One of the other team's middle-fielders takes the ball in his hands and throws it as far as possible downwards our goal. It really surprises me when I see Joe nearly flying through the air and nodding the ball all the way back to Puck –who is already running towards the goal.

I forget that I am a part of the game for a second and I'm only reminded when a guy comes running past me with his breath hitched in his throat. I follow him and when Puck sees me he passes the ball to me. I immediately pass it back and then I throw a glance over my shoulder and see that Sam is running towards us –he's not too far away.

Puck passes me the ball again and I don't hesitate to pass it back to Sam. He stands still with the ball for a second but then he smiles and shoots it- right in the crossbar. The ball bounces out again and I almost throw myself in front of it. It lands on my stomach and it causes me to stumble back a couple of steps, but then, the moment I shoot the ball as hard as I can, I feel something heavy slamming into my side. I fall down on the ground and at first I hear the crowd cheering happily, but then, without warning, they go silent.

* * *

Sam rushes to my side and crouches down next to my face.

"Hugo!" He yells. I look at him with wide eyes, because I don't really understand why he is yelling. "Do you hear me?"

"Hugo!" Puck lets out and I hear his shaky breath as he bends down above my face. He puts one of his hands on my cheek and the other one on my head. "Are you OK?"

"I-I…" I start but nothing else comes out. I guess it's because I don't have anything to say.

"Did I score?" I finally ask and Sam and Puck grin as they both grab a hold of one of my hands and pull me up. The crowd cheers again and I bend down to brush some dirt away from my knees.

The guy, who I guess slammed into me, is looking at me with a chocked expression and if I could read minds I would probably be hearing. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry'.

Puck lets go of me and walks over to the guy and at first he seems really calm but then he suddenly pushes the other guys so that he stumbles back.

"Don't touch my friends you fucking ass!" Puck hisses at him and the other guy places both of his hand out in front of him.

"I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" He says but Puck keeps pushing him.

"You could have hurt him!"

"I said I'm sorry!" The other guy finally pushes back and that causes Sam to smack him across the face. I place my hands over my face as I shake my head. This will not end well.

"Puck, stop it!" I yell at him as I tug at his arm. He stops to look at me and then he clenches his fist and hits the other guy on his left cheek. The soccer referee blows his whistle a couple of times and then he grabs a hold of Puck and tries to tear him away from the other guy.

I think that everyone on the bleachers is standing up and watching the fight with curious eyes. Coach Beastie startles me when she is suddenly behind me and wonders if I'm OK. I nod at her and then she jogs up to the heart of the fight to intervene. She only needs to point her finger at Puck to make him stop.

I throw a glance towards our side of the field and see that the rest of our team are standing by our goal and watching us with wide eyes. I turn around entirely when I see Brittany jogging towards me. When she is about two meters away she holds her arms out and I walk into her warm embrace.

"What happened?" She asks me worriedly and then she pushes me away so that she has me at an arm's length. Her eyes moves from my eyes down to my feet and then all the way back to my eyes again.

"I don't know –but I'm fine." I say and she nods before she takes a step forward so that she is hugging me again.

"At least you scored." She chuckles and now it is my turn to take a step away. I turn my head slightly to the side.

"I did?" I ask her and she nods towards the goal on the other side of the field and sure enough, the ball is lying there in one of the corners. I also see that Puck and Sam have calmed down and that the 'other guy' has received a red-card. Puck is arguing with the soccer referee so I think there might be a risk that he gets one too. "I did!" I smile and then I proceed to make a halfhearted fist-pump.

"Are you sure you are fine?" Brittany wonders just as the Coach calls my name.

"I'm sure." I say and when I turn to walk over to Beastie I realize that I am limping –not much…but it's visible. I turn back to look at her and she has her arms crossed over her chest. "Lies…"She sing-songs and I smile at her.

"I think I'll be fine…I just have to walk it off."

"Uh-huh." She stomps her foot on the grass a couple of times and then she sighs. "Go, but be careful."

"Yes, mother." I joke and it causes her to giggle and it's the kind of giggle that makes my heart flutter.

When I turn around again I am standing face to face with Puck.

"You're hurt!" He says as he points to my leg. "I told you that it was dangerous –you should have listened!"

"I scored…" I say and offer him a small smile but he shakes his head at me.

"I am serious! You can't play!" He looks at me with pursed lips as he combs his fingers through his Mohawk. "I don't want to see you hurt."

I look at him with a confused expression but before I even get a chance to say something, he takes a step towards me and closes the space between us. His lips barely touch mine before I push him away. He licks his lips and grabs a hold of my shoulders. "Please…don't play."

"Puck, are you insane. I just told you I like girls!" I say, I don't even sound mad…just chocked. I bring my fingers to my lips and when I turn around to look at Brittany she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Puck, are you…are you gay?" Sam asks and when I look around I notice that everyone –_everyone, _are staring at us.

* * *

**Sorry I lied…all the 'somebodies weren't different people, unless you count Brittany's kiss on the cheek as one…In that case…I am still an honest woman! :) **

**So, Puck found out…Santana got injured (Finn too I guess) and Brittany kissed her (Puck too)**

_**Next chapter we'll go back to where we ended in chapter 7…to um…get some answers. **_

**Serephina92: I gotta say…that was my first plan! So gooooooood guess! **

***By the way nobody thought Santana might get hurt! I got you there, didn't I?* **

**ALMOST 100 REVIEWS! Thank you *Hugs all of you***


	9. Chapter 9

**I confused you? Wihoo…that was sort of my goal I know that you all have some questions and I hope that this and the next chapter will answer most of them. (Sometimes I don't really know what I am doing, so I cannot guarantee that it will.)**

**I think that one of the reviews said that they thought it would be a long chapter –and that's right. I even had to split this chapter in two parts, but I'm nice so you'll get both parts today or definitely by tomorrow!**

* * *

**Chapter 9 **

**(Four days before the game)**

"_Quinn…" I start but stop to look at her as she places a couple of loose strands of hair behind__ her ear. "Tell me, honestly. Did you break up with Puck because of me?" _

"What?" She crosses her arms and sneers at me. "No!" I look at her with wide eyes...I think she has an attitude problem…

"Are you sure?" I ask quietly and it causes her to jump to her feet.

"Of course I'm sure." She says a bit harsh but then she sighs and looks down at her hands. "Look, I'm not in love with you if that's what you think…I- I just –I don't even know you."

"Okay." I say and she frowns at me.

"Okay?"

"Yeah…"I stand up as well and then I offer her a small smile before I turn to walk back to Tina and Mercedes.

They are apparently still sitting by the edge of the field, talking and having fun. I feel a bit bad about leaving them there…they are here to spend time with me after all.

"Wait." Quinn lets out after I have taken a couple of steps. She doesn't even sound like herself when she says this. Normally it would come out sounding like an order…but now, it sounds like she is actually begging me to wait.

I turn around to look at her again as she takes a couple of steps closer to me. "Just, wait." She says again and I look down at my feet with a frown and then back at her.

"I'm not going anywhere…" I say because I am clearly not moving and I'm pretty sure that she can see that.

"I know," She starts but then she bites her lip and looks up at the sky for a moment. A small smile spreads across her lips and I can't keep myself from tilting my head up towards the sky as well. There are probably about five billion stars right above us, no, make that ten or eleven. There are stars everywhere and if the sky had been a bit darker we'd probably be able to see even more.

It's not one of those romantic skies though…It's not one of those skies that you want to lay down on a blanket and stare at for hours. Plus, it's kind of chilly outside so if you lay down on the ground now, you'd probably never get up because your blood would probably turn to ice. When did it get this cold? It was warm just minutes ago.

"I know-"She says again and I shift my attention from the star covered sky back to the girl in front of me.

She has tears in her eyes and just as one single tear starts rolling down her cheek, she catches it with her finger and chuckles. Actually, she doesn't chuckle –It's almost like the chuckle got stuck in her throat so the sound that came out instead was more like a painful wail. "I'm silly, I know."

"No –Quinn," I take a step forward and fling my arms around her waist. Her arms sneak around my neck as she leans into me before she sighs and places her head on my shoulder. I trail my fingers along her back to comfort her. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She mumbles and inhales deeply. "You are right." I stop my movements and open my mouth a little.

"What was I right about?" I ask her even though I am quite certain that I already know the answer. She is in love with me? The head cheerleader is in love with _me? _No, that can't be right. She can't be in love with me. My heart starts beating faster so I inhale deeply before I step out of her embrace. Quinn _can't _like me. Nobody can. Because it's wrong –I'm not _me. _

She gives me a small smile and then she starts backing away.

"So just wait, okay?" She says and I frown at her. Why didn't she answer my question?

"Wait for what?" I wonder and she shakes her head at me as she stops to pick up her bag and her megaphone.

"For me –wait for me." Quinn says before she throws her bag over her shoulder and starts walking away. I sit down on the ground again and cover my face with my hands. That did not go the way I had planned it. Wait for her? Wait for how long? No, I'm not going to _wait for her._

* * *

I sit like that for a while as wave of emotion rushes over me –everything is so messed up. I notice that someone sits down next to me. I heard their footsteps when they walked over here but I didn't see anything since my vision was -is a bit blurry. Mercedes places her hand on my shoulder and I quickly dry my tears and clear my throat.

"Are you OK?" Mercedes asks me and I nod my head. "Then why are you crying?"

"I don't- I'm not- Urghh –I don't know." I say and Mercedes squeezes my shoulder.

"Did you tell Brittany that you can't see her anymore?" Tina looks at me with a sad expression on her face as she carefully dries a couple of my tears with her thumb. At first I look at her with a small frown because I don't really understand what she is talking about. But when I do, I burst out in laughter. They look at me like I have gone mad. Tears are streaming down my face and before I know it the laughter has turned into sobs. "Did you?" Tina then asks me. It causes me to laugh again and when I calm down I shake my head at her.

"No," I tell them. "I am seeing her tomorrow at her house."

"What?" Mercedes looks at me with wide eyes. "You were going to tell her that you wouldn't see each other and –and instead you are going on a date with her? Santana are you out of your mind?"

"It's not a date!" I mutter and she rolls her eyes at me. It's not a date, is it?

"Sure…" Mercedes mumbles and then she goes quiet for a while.

We sit, we just _sit. _We don't move, we _don't _talk and we don't do anything. Well, at least not until Mercedes starts humming on a song that the three of us used to sing before every soccer-practice - to get in the right mood.

"When I get older, I will be stronger; they'll call me freedom –just like a waving flag." Mercedes then sings very quietly, but since I am sitting right next to her, I still hear it. A small smile spreads on Tina's lips as she joins in.

"And then it goes back and then it goes back, and then it goes back." Mercedes chuckles at her and then she clears her throat a little.

"Born to a throne, stronger than Rome –but Violent prone, poor people zone- But it's my home, all I have known –where I got grown, streets we would roam." She doesn't sing quietly anymore. No, she's _really_ singing now and Tina starts hitting her leg to the beat and I have to admit that it is kind of tempting to open my mouth and sing my heart out. But I don't.

"But out of the darkness, I came the farthest –among the hardest survival." Tina sings and Mercedes giggles as she nudges my shoulder. I lean away from her and lean in to Tina instead.

"Come on, Santana." She says as my shoulder touches hers. "Like we used to, please, sing it." I look at her with lips pursed together before I give in and Mercedes grins as she leans in and hugs my arm.

"We sing on the count to three." Tina says and we nod. "1...2…3"

"When I get older, I will be stronger; they'll call me freedom –just like a waving flag!" We sing in unison and suddenly I forget what I was upset about. The sadness in my stomach gets replaced with a familiar happy feeling. "And then it goes back and then it goes back, and then it goes back." Mercedes holds her fist out in front of her face and pretends that she is singing into a microphone. Tina giggles and I shake my head at her.

"Why do we always sing this song?" Mercedes stops singing to ask us.

"It's our confident booster song…" I say like it is obvious and Mercedes shakes her head at me.

"I know that –but why? Didn't we agree that 'I'm gonna be' was our new song?" I shrug at her and she exhales. "Let's switch to 'I'm gonna be' it's better."

"I'll sing that one in the shower before my next game." I say and she smiles at me.

"Good," She says and then she looks at her phone before she stands up. "I think Tina and I have to drive back now."

"What?" I ask her as I stand up and pull Tina up as well. "You are already leaving? We barely got a chance to talk!"

"I'll call you." Mercedes says as she grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me into her embrace.

"I hope!" I say as I let go of her and turn to hug Tina instead.

"Plus, Tina and I are gonna want to know what happens between you and Brittany on your date."

"It's not a date…" I sigh and she smiles at me. They are just about to walk away when Tina stops to look at me. She has a weird expression on her face; a mix between confusion and surprise. I ask her what and she frowns at me.

"Didn't that other girl…what's her name?" She taps her fingers on her lips before a small smile forms on them. "Rachel! Didn't Rachel also ask you out on a date too?" I shake my head at her but then I suddenly remember that she's gonna cook me something tomorrow.

"Oh, shoot. I had forgotten about that." I say as I let out a frustrated groan.

"It's a good thing that Tina and I can't stay another day, seems to me that you are going to be busy tomorrow." Mercedes raises her eyebrows at me and I chuckle before I tell them that I will walk with them to their car.

It really is freezing outside now and when we reach their car I am shuddering almost as much as I did the first night I came here.

"Why didn't you just say no to Brittany?" Mercedes asks me as she steps into her car and grabs a hold of the wheel.

"I couldn't." I say and she raises her eyebrows again. "Plus, nothing will happen…we'll just watch a movie and…I'll be her friend."

Mercedes shrugs and then she turns to Tina and asks if she's all set. When they pull out of the school's parking-lot Mercedes honks the horn and I wave at them.

* * *

The music that is pumping hard out of the speakers in our room it can probably be heard miles away so when I have closed the door and stepped inside I ask Puck to turn the volume down. He huffs at me and turns a page in the book he is reading. Puck is reading? Wow, that's new. I take matter in to my own hands and when the room goes silent Puck groans and throws his book across the floor. I jump a little –I wasn't prepared for that to happen.

"What do you think about the room?" I ask him gently as I lift my hands up to motion for the entire room before I proudly look down at the clean floor. He shrugs his shoulders before he sits up in his bed and inhales deeply as he clenches his fits. I am just about to ask him what the hell his problem is when I remember my brief encounter with Quinn this morning. I kick of my shoes and lays down on my bed.

"I heard what happened between you and Quinn." I say quietly and he spins around to look at me.

"Then can you tell me? Can you explain to me? Because I –I don't understand at all!" He bites his lips and then he stands up and walks over to where he threw the book. He picks it up and looks at it with a sad smile before he places it on the desk and walks back to his bed. I don't know what to say –so I say nothing. I watch him as he places his hands on his head and lies down. "I don't understand." He mumbles and turns his face towards me. "I thought she was happy –how could I have been so wrong? What changed her mind about me?"

"I don't know." I let out - but actually I do know and because of the fact that he doesn't - I guess she never gave him a reason for their sudden break-up –she didn't tell him about me. Not that there is any me to tell him about. Nothing has happened between us.

"Have you ever been in love?" He asks me suddenly and I would lie if I said that it didn't catch me off guard.

"Mm…yeah, I think so." I answer him. "But never like crazy in love." He chuckles at me and I ask him why he wonders. He looks at me for a moment before he shakes his head and starts staring up at the ceiling instead.

"No reason." Puck then says quietly before he sits up and grabs a hold of his cover. He places it over himself as he lies down again. I reach my arm out to my left and turn off the light. I can't be bothered to change my clothes –I'll just shower in the morning.

We lay silent in the dark for what feels like hours and just when I think that he has fallen asleep he sighs loudly and I blink my eyes open again. I turn my head slightly to the left to get a glimpse of him, but it is too dark.

"Are you awake?" I whisper and he hums silently in reply. "It's almost midnight." I add before I hear that he shifts a bit in his bed just before his cellphone lights up right in front of his face. He looks at it for a while before he puts it back on his nightstand.

"I keep thinking that Quinn will call." He says sadly and I turn my whole body towards him, so that I am lying on my side, facing him.

"I'm sorry." I say and I deeply wish that he knew what I was apologizing for, which is everything.

"It's not your fault, Hugo." He says and I have to place my hand over my mouth to stop myself from saying anything. "Can we hang out tomorrow? It's Sunday and it's like the first Sunday in forever that I won't be spending with Quinn."

"Yeah, sure –um…I mean… no." I shake my head at myself and think that if I could see Puck right now, he would probably be frowning at me. "I can't. I'm seeing Brittany tomorrow."

"Oh, you have a date?"

"It's _not_ a date!" I say and I think I sound a bit irritated. If I do it's because I am. It is not a date.

"Whatever." Puck says and then he shifts in his bed again. I think he turned away from me so I turn away from him as well.

"What are you two gonna do anyway?" He mutters and I shake my head a little even though he can't see it.

"Watch a movie." I then answer him with a shrug and he chuckles at me for some reason.

"You are watching a movie on the first date?"

"Yeah…"

"Have you ever been to a 2nd ? -I mean, that sounds super boring!"

"What?"

"Nothing –Shut up and sleep now, will you?" He says and I chuckle a little and roll my eyes at him.

"You are the one who started talking, dipshit!" I mumble and then I can't keep my eyes open any longer.

* * *

**(Three days before the game)**

After showering, after eating breakfast, after trying on just about fifty different outfits, after spending an hour in the library trying to find a reliable bus-timetable and after actually finding a bus and getting on it – I am finally standing outside of Rachel Berry's house. Is it big? Yes, it is. Does it look the way I thought it would look like? Yes, it's big and white with a matching doghouse in the middle of the garden. She doesn't even have a dog, or, does she? I don't even know…Something she does have is a white- picket - fence. It looks like the perfect home.

I walk the remaining steps up to her door and press my finger against the doorbell. I don't hear anything, but I think it works. I stomp my foot on the ground while waiting and just when I am about to press my finger against the bell again a dog barks –I guess she does have a dog.

No, the sound doesn't come from behind the door –it's coming from behind me. I turn around just as the dog reaches the top of the stairs. It is wagging its tail and looking at me with its big brown puppy-eyes. I kneel down next to it and start petting it behind its ear. The dog leans into my hand before it lies down. It is not a big dog but it's not exactly a small dog either –I'm not good at dog- breeds but I am pretty sure that this is a beagle just because I recognize the short legs. My grandmother used to have a dog just like this.

The beagle rolls over to its back and that's when I notice that 'it' is in fact a 'he'. I start to rub his belly and I think that he is really enjoying it judging on his barely open eyes and wagging tail.

"Are you a good boy?" I coo and smile at him. "Yes, yes you are! You are the cutest!" When I realize how silly I am being I stop talking and lean down to kiss his head instead. I don't get to kiss him tough, because the door opens behind me and smacks me right on the butt. I tip forward a bit but I catch myself with my hands before I squish the dog.

"Hugo!" Rachel says and then she takes a step forward and grabs a hold of my arm. "I'm sorry!" She giggles a bit as she pulls me up from the ground. Her eyes widen a bit when she sees the dog still lying down at the top of the stairs. She points at him but she looks at me.

"You –you didn't touch him, did you?" She asks me and scrunches her nose.

"No, I didn't –Why? Is he dangerous or something?" I turn my attention to the little dog which is still wagging its little tail. Dangerous, no way!

"No," She says and then she takes a step forwards and nudges the dog so that it stands up. She points at the doghouse and the dog happily storms off. "But he –he has fleas."

I look down at my hands in utter disgust and then I discreetly rub them against my lap. "But my dad will take care of him until we find the owners so you don't have to worry."

"It's a stray dog?" I ask her surprised and she nods.

"We call him 'Viper'." Rachel says as she holds up the door so that we can enter her house. "He has what we call 'attitude problems', like he doesn't like people but my dad is working on it." I frown at her before I shrug it off and start focusing on her amazing house instead. Everything is bright. That is the best way to describe it. The furniture is white, the wallpaper is beige and the dark wooden-floor is almost covered in white fluffy carpets.

"We can go down in the basement." She says as she walks over to a door and opens it. "For a while –until my dad comes home with the groceries I asked him to buy." She disappears behind the door so I quickly follow her. Even her basement is bright! Basements are normally dark, dusty and scary but not this one. Her mother must be a decorator or something along those lines.

I walk the stairs in silence until a giant frame catches my eyes and I stop to look at it.

"Wow," I chuckle and Rachel stops walking and turns to look at me. "Nice picture." I tell her and she covers her face with her hands.

"I am pretty certain that I asked my dad to take that away yesterday," She takes a couple of steps towards me and stops in front of the giant portrait of herself. "He clearly didn't listen."

"I like it," I say with a chuckle. "I wish I had one of these!"

"No, trust me, you don't." She says before she grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me away from the picture.

There's a small bar in the basement, which is the first thing I notice when we reach the ground. Rachel suddenly disappears from my side and when I shift my attention from the bar to look where she went; I find her standing in the middle of the room in front of a small stage. Oh –no.

"Do you like singing?" She asks me and I nod.

"Yup, I do it all the time." I say and it causes her to grin at me.

"Are you any good?"

"I'm okay." I answer just as she jumps up on the small stage and grabs a hold of the microphone. She holds it out towards me and shakes it a little as if to say: 'take it.' I hold my hands out in front of me as I take a couple of steps back.

"I won't sing." I then say and she slouches her shoulders a little but places the microphone back on its stand.

"What do you want to do then?" Rachel lets out just as the door opens and somebody enters the house. "They are early." She says before she jogs over to the foot of the stairs and tilts her head up towards the door but then she looks back at me. "Are you hungry?" She then asks me but she doesn't wait for an answer before she turns her attention back to the door. "DAD –DID YOU REMEMBER THE FOOD?" She yells and I think that he answers her but all I hear is a muffled sound. She shouts a 'thank you' before she waves me over and starts walking upstairs.

* * *

A tall man is standing in the kitchen and filling the fridge and cabinets with all the new purchases. Rachel gives him a big hug while I awkwardly watch them. The man then extends his hand so I shake it.

"LeRoy Berry," He says and gives me a small smile. "I'm Rachel's father."

"Nice to meet you, I'm H-"

"Hugo! I know –This one-"He says as he throws his free arm around Rachel and pulls her close. "This one has already told me about you."

"Oh." I say and when he lets go of my hand he gives my arm a small squeeze.

He clasps his hands together before he reach into his shopping-bag and pulls out a finished vegan-lasagna. Rachel frowns at him so he puts it down on the counter and taps his fingers on it.

"No worries my child, I will let you cook but if it turns out to be inedible you have this to eat –just in case." Rachel's father lets out before he scratches his head and looks down at his watch. "Hiram should be home by now." He then adds just as the sound of a car pulling up on the driveway can be heard from outside. "When you speak of the Devil…" LeRoy then sings as he walks out of the kitchen.

"You are a vegan?" I ask her and she nods. "Then, what do you eat?" I add because I really want to know.

"Don't worry," She says as she reaches into the bag and smiles. "I had my dad buying lots of fruit –If you are not that hungry we could just make a fruit salad." I give her a small smile and nods. I am not that hungry actually.

Rachel orders me to cut some bananas and apples into pieces while she starts cutting and pealing lots and lots of oranges. I wonder how much she thinks I will eat.

* * *

Another man, probably the man named Hiram, walks into the kitchen and snatches one of the apples I have in front of me. He looks a bit smaller than the other man but also a bit stricter. He narrows his eyes at me and when I start looking uncomfortable he chuckles at me. Rachel hadn't notice that he was here but upon hearing his voice she turns around and gives him a warm smile.

"Didn't I ask you to get rid of that horrible portrait in the basement?" She raises her eyebrows at him and he shakes his head as he takes a bite of the apple he is holding. He doesn't finish chewing before he speaks.

"You told me, yes, but I never agreed." He says with a smile before he looks at me again. "And that's that." He adds and a piece of apple comes flying out of his mouth and lands on my shirt. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to spit on you." Hiram then chuckles as he reaches across the counter and shoots the piece away with his finger.

"Dad, you can leave now." Rachel states and Hiram nods as he takes another bite of the apple, which he then puts down on the counter and walks away. Did she call him dad? I furrow my eyebrows a little as I resume with cutting the fruits into pieces.

"I thought LeRoy was your dad…" I blurt out after a while and Rachel spins around to look at me. She doesn't say anything at first but she picks up a towel from a drawer and dries her hands on it.

"He- he is my father." She stutters and I look at her quizzically. "But Hiram, the man who was just here, he is my father too."

"You have two dads?" I ask her and she nods and looks down at the floor.

"I always forget to tell people because I think it's normal and-"

"Rachel," I interrupt her and she stops talking. "It is normal –I am actually very jealous of you."

"You are jealous of me for having gay-parents? – Then you are absolutely the first one…" She says and I chuckle a little.

"No, not that…But that you have two parents who seem to be very caring and both of them clearly loves you." I say and I wish she knew how serious I am.

"Because you don't-" She jokes with a small smile and when I nod her expression turns somewhat serious. She tosses the towel back on the counter and walks over to sit down next to me on one of the white barstools. "You can tell me if you want to." She then says and I give her a small smile.

"No, it's okay. I don't really care anyway –But you must know how lucky you are." I utter somewhat quietly and she nods. "You have two dads while I have none."

"What happened?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I do."

"It's a long story…"

"We have time." She smiles sadly at me and I clear my throat a little before I open my mouth to speak.

"He –um- my dad he loved racing and he used to do it all the time with his friends but one day, um, when –I think his friends had called him and invited him to go racing with them –but his racer-car wasn't working. I think it was something with the breaks-"Rachel interrupts me with a quiet gasp.

"He drove without breaks? He died in a car accident?" She covers her mouth with her hands and I frown a bit at her.

"No –no he didn't." I shake my head with a sad smile. "He was very stubborn and he was determined to go racing that day even if it meant that he had to walk all the way – I've been told that there were a lot of cars on the highway that particular day and he had to cross the street several times and I think it made-"

"He was hit by a car? That is terrible!" She interrupts me again and I sigh.

"No, no he wasn't."

"Then what happened?" Rachel asks me eagerly and I demonstrate by holding up my knife and jamming it into the apple.

"This," I say while holding up the knife with the apple stuck on it. "This happened."

"He was stabbed?" She lets out chocked and I lean my head against the counter and groans.

"No, he ate an apple, he was allergic to apples." I tell her and she frowns at me.

"Then why did he eat it? And what does that have to do with cars?"

"He didn't eat a whole apple it was like a cake that contained apples. He ate a cake. Like I was trying to say; It was a very stressful day and he had to walk all the way to the racing course so half-way there he called my mom, told her that he was stepping into a café to cool down – but he never stepped out of there- I think he was allergic to peanuts too…maybe the cake contained peanuts?"

"When did this happen?" She asks me after a moment and I immediately start counting on my fingers.

"About seven years ago, almost eight –I had just turned ten." I answer her and she turns in her seat and gives me a warm hug. She hugs me a bit longer than needed but I don't really complain. It feels nice –It actually feels really nice. Rachel smells good, why didn't I notice that earlier?

"Did you just sniff my hair?" She asks me a bit amused and I shake my head and chuckle.

"Can we finish making this fruit salad now?" I ask her and she pats my back before she unwraps her arms from around me and walks back to the counter where she was standing earlier.

* * *

If I could only eat one fruit for the rest of my life it would without a doubt be grapes. They are so sweet and juicy and you could eat millions of them without tiring. It's different with, for instance, bananas, if you eat more than one you are pretty much dead. But what if bananas were as small as grapes –how cool would that be? Like small yellow grapes that you have to peal before you eat. They still wouldn't be as good as grapes though. You'd still get tired of them pretty quickly. What if bananas were juicy? Oh, gross. But-

I get pulled back into reality when Rachel puts down a big bowl in front of me and tells me to put everything in there. When I am done, the whole bowl is filled with delicious fruit and Rachel picks up two larges spoons and throws them in there. I mix the fruit using the spoons while Rachel walks over to a cabinet and fetches four smaller bowls and spoons.

Rachel calls for her dads who immediately come rushing in with worried looks on their faces. Almost like they expected the whole room to be filled with smoke or fire that was billowing out of the oven, which is weird considering we have been making salad –fruit-salad.

Each one of us fills up a bowl and then we walk back down in the basement again to sit in one of the couches. LeRoy and Hiram ask me a lot of weird questions…such as: What is your favorite musical? My answer: I don't have one. Their conclusion: I like all the musicals. They talk a lot and I learn that Rachel was named after a character in FRIENDS and when I let it slip that I love FRIENDS they get super excited and we end up talking about that for a long time.

* * *

Just as Rachel excuses herself to walk over to the stage to sing a song for us, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I leave it there for a moment before I pick it up.

'_What are you wearing?´_

It is from an unknown number so I frown a bit before I start to type an answer. Before I press 'send' my phone vibrates again.

'_That sounded…kind of…pervy, but I didn't mean in that way. I am just curious__"_

It beeps again before I can answer.

'_It is Brittany by the way, the cheerleader, with blonde hair.'_

I chuckle a little before I answer.

'_I know who you are, Brittany And I'll be wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater'_

'_Oh good – So, horror or chick-flick?'_

'_Horror!'_

'_Of course –I wouldn't force you to watch a silly girl movie anyway See you in thirty!'_

* * *

If she is picking me up in thirty minutes I better get going now! Shoot! Time really flew by.

"[…] Therefore I have selected a song by Barbara, for all those reasons I gave you and for those I am about to say. Reason number 17: Barbara herself once said-"

"Rachel…" I interrupt her and she smiles at me with a quizzical expression as she puts away the microphone and jumps down on the floor. "I have to go now."

"You have to go now?" She looks at me with a small pout and I nod. "Why?"

"I –I have some things to –to do." I answer her and then I look at her dads who are both staring at us.

"Okay –can we do this some other time?" She asks me hopefully and I answer with a nod. "Are you walking?"

"No, I got here by bus."

"But the busses don't go after 12 o'clock on weekends." LeRoy chimes in and then he stands up. "I'll drive you back to school."

Leroy gives Rachel a hug before he walks out of the house and starts walking towards the car. I also give her a hug and then I follow her father. I get in in the backseat of the car and LeRoy shakes his head at me and pats the seat next to him. I get out of the car again.

"Bye, Viper!" I say before I step into the car again and buckle up.

* * *

We drive in silence the first couple of minutes but then LeRoy looks at me with a small smile.

"Are you and Rachel dating? She wouldn't tell me so I might as well ask you." He blurts out all of the sudden and it causes me to almost choke on my own saliva.

"No, no, no –we are just friends." I assure him and his face falls a bit. He nods his head a little as he drives into a small dirt road that will take us to school.

"Oh, okay." He says and then he starts tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"Rachel told me you play soccer."

"Yes I do. We have a big game coming up on Wednesday but I don't know if I'll get to play."

"Why?" He asks me curiously and my mind spins as I try to come up with a lie. I am not about to tell him that I vandalized the school and threw a party in my room…even though I didn't exactly do those things.

"Um –you know? Rules I guess." I stutter and give him an awkward smile. "I'm new so I haven't had that much practice with the team."

"It's in the afternoon, right?" He wonders and I nod. "Hiram and I will probably be a bit late but Rachel will be there on time to watch the kick-off." He is coming to watch my game? Why?

"Do –Is that a tradition?" I ask. "To go and watch the soccer- games?"

"No, but I haven't seen a game in so long and now that I know someone who plays I finally have a reason to actually go and see it- so the Berry –family will be there and support you." He says and I thank him.

* * *

He pulls up at the schools driveway at the same moment as a silver SAAB can be seen on the small road. LeRoy hits my arm a little before he waves and drives back home. The other car pulls up right in front of me and I try to see who is driving but I can't because the windows are toned. The door opens and Brittany steps out of it.

"Who was that?" She points at LeRoy's car with her thumb and I tell her that it was Rachel's dad. I expect her to question me about why I was with him but she doesn't. "Are you ready for our date?" She asks me with a shy smile. Am I ready for our date? Oh, so it is a date after all.

"Yeah, Of course I am!" I grin at her as she walks around the car to open the door for me.

"Then get in!" She smirks and I look at her for a moment before I do.

* * *

**Okay, that's that. **

**I have two questions:**

**Are there any Australians out there? I am probably moving there by the end of this year and it would feel nice to know someone there. So, all the Australians, raise your hands. We can be friends *puppy eyes*. **

**Har jag några svenska läsare? Det skulle vara coolt – förutom om du typ är min granne…*visslar och smyger iväg.***

**For those of you who 'reviewed' on this story on my tumblr: *Kisses* **

**And for those who reviewed the standard way: *Kisses***

**For those who just read this story and doesn't review: *Kisses* **

_**So, is this still exciting or?**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, I'll try it in Spanish!**

_**¿Hay algunos lectores suecos aqui? Sería cool – A menos que sea mi vecino...*Silbar y escabullirse* **_

**Hm? Yeah, that doesn't look right? At least I tried. I studied Spanish for 6 years in school. I also studied German**

**Enough about me! How are you guys? Excited about the Brittana- date? … Then why are you reading this and not the story? ^_^ Ha **

_**ALMOST THE ENTIRE CHAPTER IS BRITTANA! SAY 'THANK YOU AMANDA'**_

DET VAR MÅNGA SVENSKAR:D WOOO! Löööv it! Som vi stolt säger här i Norden;)

* * *

**Chapter 10! **

**(Still three days before the game)**

It takes about three minutes to reach Brittany's house –yeah I also wonder why she decided to pick me up with her car, considering it is so close, but yeah. Just like Rachel's house her house is big and white with a matching picket-fence. But Brittany's house looks a lot more 'homey'. I can't put my finger on it, but I think it is because of the fact that her house is a bit messy. Not as messy as Puck's room of course –that would be gross- but there is stuff lying outside in the garden on the uncut grass and –I don't know –It just seems to me that her family is a bit less strict. I like Brittany's house because it's so…so –It's so Brittany.

When we enter her house a wind of freshly baked cinnamon buns hits me like a wall. I inhale deeply, which causes my mouth to water. I think I might drool a bit so I hurry to rub my sleeve against my chin. Better to be safe than sorry I suppose.

Brittany kicks off her shoes right inside of the door before she looks down at my feet and waits for me to do the same.

"Sweetie, did you get home safely?" A woman's voice calls from inside the house and Brittany chuckles a little.

"Yes I did, mom!" She calls back and then she turns to look at me again. "Why does she always ask me that? If the answer wasn't 'yes' I wouldn't be here."

I shake my head at her with a smile as I kneel down to tie off my shoes. She leans against the wall and waits for me until I'm finished and then she leads me upstairs and into her room.

The first thing I see when she opens the door to her room is the small bed in the middle of the room. She has put a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean a lot, of pillows on it. Half of the bed is covered in them and I got to admit that it looks super comfortable.

Brittany walks over to the giant TV, which is standing in front of the bed, and kneels down beside it.

I stand in her doorway for a bit longer though- taking in her room and watching her as she tries to get the TV to work. One of her walls is covered in photographs and I stare at it for a moment, but to my great disappointment there are zero pictures of her there. Just a bunch of people I have never seen before.

"It doesn't work." She mumbles suddenly and I turn away from the pictures and look at her instead. Her eyebrows are creased in a ridiculously cute way while she is fiddling with two different remote-controls.

"What?" I ask her and she sighs and holds out the remotes towards me.

"I haven't used this TV in years." She says as I walk a couple of steps closer to her and takes the items form her hands. "It probably doesn't work anymore."

I press my finger on the 'start' button on one of the remotes and when nothing happens I put it down on her bed and try the other one. I look at it with a confused expression as I turn the remote over in my hand and when I realize why it won't work, I smile a little.

"There are no batteries, Brittany." I say. "Do you have any?"

"Oh," She shakes her head a little and smiles. "Maybe…" She then stands up and walks over to her desk. She opens one of the drawers and after a couple of seconds she is standing next to me with a handful of them.

"We only need four." I say as I lift my hand up and she places them in my hand.

"Can you fix this?" She says, motioning for the TV. I give her a small nod so she tells me that she will be right back. Brittany then skips out of the room and down the stairs. I silently pray that she went down to get some of those cinnamon buns.

It doesn't take much 'fixing'- I simply turn the TV on and then I sit down on her bed and waits for her. She comes back a couple of minutes later with a big bowl of popcorn which she hands to me.

"Okay… horror?" She says as she holds up a movie with one of her hands.

"Dawn of the dead…" I read out loud and she nods. "You picked a zombie movie?" I look at her with somewhat wide eyes and she looks down at the movie in her hands and creases her eyebrows.

"You –you don't like it?" She asks me and I open my mouth to answer her, but she beats me to that point so I close it again. "We can watch something else if you want to."

"No, I want to see this movie." I assure her and she smiles. "I'm just surprised that you would pick it…it's a very scary movie."

"You wanted horror –I give you horror." She giggles before she walks over to her DVD and puts it in. "Plus, now you _have _to hold my hand." She adds coyly and I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Is that so?" I say with a chuckle and then I hesitate a little before I add. "Maybe that's why I wanted horror in the first place?"

She looks at me for a moment before she smiles and tells me to scoot over on the bed. She sits down next to me and then she holds her hand out.

"When I press play you take my hand." She says and then she leans forward and grabs a hold of the remote that is lying on the edge of her bed. I dry my hands off on her cover just in case they are sweaty. I don't think they are but I might be too excited to notice that. "Here it goes." She then says and I place my hand in hers and she intertwines our fingers. I lick my lips because they suddenly feel a bit dry and then I let out a big breath before I lean down against all the pillows and relaxes.

* * *

When I look down at my own chest I can see that it is pulsating up and down like I have just run a marathon. My heart is beating crazily fast and I wonder if she can see it too; that would be a bit awkward. I look at her without turning my face and I can't help but smile when I see that she has pulled her blanket up to her eyes and looks at the movie through her fingers. I realize that I have been too concerned about what she thinks of me that I haven't been able to focus on the movie.

I let out a shaky breath as I squeeze her hand a little to make her look at me. She does and at first she looks worried but then she gives me a timid smile. I realize that I just made her look at me and I have nothing to say. God, I'm so weird. I open my mouth and say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Can you –um –pass the popcorn?" I say and she nods her head a little as she lets go of my hand, bends forward and grabs the bowl. I shake my head at my own stupidity as she places the bowl between us. Not only did I ruin the moment, I also made her think that I needed my hand so she let go of it.

I grab a couple of popcorn and toss them into my mouth as I try my best to focus on the movie again.

* * *

I watch the movie for about half a minute but then I look at Brittany again. I don't even mean to look at her –it just happens. She looks back at me again and I wonder if it would be weird to ask her to hold my hand. I figure it would be weird if I did. She'd probably think that I was scared or something. Maybe…maybe she doesn't want to hold my hand. Oh my god, did I just suck on my finger? Why can't I behave in public? Why can't I understand that I am not at home right now? I can't just suck the salt from the popcorn off my fingers like that. I'm not going to ask her to hold my hand now!

"Want some popcorn?" I ask her quietly as I take a hold of the bowl and shake it a little. A bunch of popcorns falls out of the bowl and lands on her cover. "Oops!" I let out as I carefully put the bowl down again and she chuckles at me. I made her laugh –score. She picks up the popcorn that lies on the bed and throws them into her mouth.

"It's fine." She says with a giggle as she picks up the last popcorn from her cover and puts it in her mouth. "They are cold." She then adds as she puts her hand into the bowl stir them a little.

"Yea, they are a bit cold." I answer her just to say something. "But it is okay, it doesn't matter."

"Sometimes when I'm at the movies I try to save my popcorns for as long as possible so that I don't eat everything at once before the movie starts…" Brittany then tells me. "But it's like, so stupid to do that because then I end up with a box of cold popcorn…and then I don't even enjoy them." She rambles on and I smile at her. "Then I just end up a bit sad because it doesn't taste as well as I hoped it would –Um, I don't even know why I'm telling you this…"

"That's cute! I have actually done that a couple of times too –except I sneak out and buy new ones…and when I get back in the room and everyone can feel the wonderful smell of freshly made popcorn they run out and buy new ones as well." I blurt out and she giggles. "So really, movie theaters should pay me to go there."

"We should go sometime." Brittany looks at me a bit bashfully. "To the movies, I mean."

I give her a small nod as my heart does a thousand small flips inside of my chest. "Awesome." Brittany then says as her eyes lock with mine.

"Perfect." I agree and when my lips form into a crooked smile her eyes fall from my eyes and down to my mouth instead. I automatically lick my lips and it causes her to giggle.

She looks back into my eyes again as a rush of heat reaches my cheek. I suddenly remember my conversation with Mercedes and Tina and it causes me to look down at my own lap instead. 'I'll just be her friend' –that's what I said. Those are my words. When I said that, I wasn't staring into her eyes and I wasn't surrounded by her sweet scent. When I said that to Mercedes I was absolutely sober…and now I'm kind of drunk. I'm drunk on her and I can't even think straight, no pun intended. I lean away from her a bit and start watching the movie again.

* * *

Coming here was a mistake because she makes me want to do things that I really can't do. I want to kiss her, I do. I want to kiss her more than anything. I have never wanted anything more than this. But I wouldn't want to kiss her while being Hugo –I want to be me.

"You –um –like the movie" She asks me after a moment and I give her a small nod.

"It's a zombie movie –what's not to like?" I answer her and she shrugs.

"I like the…actors –um, very convincing." She stammers out and I nod in agreement.

"Yeah…" Honestly, I have no idea what this movie is about and it makes this whole conversation a bit awkward. I wish I could just tell her the truth –tell her everything. Brittany pulls the blanket further up so that it reaches her chin. Her hair is in a messy bun and her eyes are a bit sparkly –not like she is about to cry or anything – just shiny…like…a billion stars all gathered in one place. God, Santana! Get a grip. It's probably better for everybody if I just come clean right now.

"Brittany," I say a bit timidly and she turns her face to her side and looks at me. "Brittany, I-"

I don't get to finish before there is a knock on the door and Brittany turns her attention to the door instead.

"Can I come in, honey? Are you descent?" Her mother calls from the other side of the door and Brittany groans a little before she tells her to come in. Her mother enters the room with a huge grin and Brittany wonders what she wants.

"I just wanted to meet your special friend." The blond woman says as she takes a step towards me and extends her hand. Brittany looks at her with a frown as I shake her hand. "Susan."

"Santana." I answer without thinking but when her mother eyes me up and down I realize what I just said. "That's a pretty name." I then add and her expression becomes even more confused. "Or what did you say your name was?"

"Susan…" She says and I give her a look that tells her that I finally heard her.

"Nice meeting you, Susan!" I say happily. "My name is Hugo Lopez."

"Now that you are acquainted you can leave, mom…" Brittany chimes in and grabs a hold of her mother's arm before she pulls her out of the room.

When they are both turned away from me I pick up one of Brittany's pillows and presses it against my face. That was close. I almost gave myself away there and before that I almost told her.

"Sorry about her." Brittany says as she comes back and sits down on her bed again. I tell her that her mother is nice and she looks at me with a shy smile.

"You were telling me something." She bites her lip and I look down at my hands.

"No –forget it." I tell her and she sighs.

"The movie is soon over." She says as she throws a glance at the TV and bites her lip again. "What do you want to do when it's over?"

I shrug my shoulders before I turn to look at her clock on the nightstand. It's not late but it's definitely getting late and we have school tomorrow. She has school –I don't know about myself yet. The principal said that he would deal with me and my bad behavior on Monday, which is tomorrow -doomsday. I sigh a little and look back at her. "I guess it's getting pretty late…" Brittany then says as if she knew what I was thinking. Or, she saw that I was staring at the clock.

"Yeah…will you walk me home?" I ask her and she nods.

* * *

We finish watching the movie. Correction: I watch her watching the movie and then we walk back downstairs and tell her mother goodbye. I am actually glad that I didn't pay that much attention to the movie -Imagine how scary it would be to walk back home if I had!

"Don't you have a jacket?" Brittany's mother asks me before we step outside. I look down at my t-shirt and then at Brittany, who is dressed in a warm sweater, a jacket and even a scarf. I shake my head and tell her 'no'. "I'll go upstairs and get one of Michael's jackets for you to borrow."

"Mom, dad is like…a giant compared to Hugo." Brittany states and her mother turn back to us and frowns.

"Maybe he can borrow one of your jackets." Susan then asks Brittany who shrugs. Susan walks over to one of the closets and opens it. She brings out a beige jacket and Brittany shakes her head. She hangs it back in the closet and then she brings out a red one. "Will this do?"

I nod my head before Brittany gets a chance to comment on it and Susan immediately throws it to me. When I have put it on we tell her 'goodbye' again and then we leave.

* * *

We walk very closely to one another and our hands constantly brush against each other. I try to keep my distance from her but for some reason I always seem to end up right next to her. As if we were two magnets. When I bump into her for the fourth time she giggles and it causes me to chuckle.

I look up at the sky and once again the whole sky is covered in stars. If it was summer now it would probably still be bright outside by this time of the day. But it's not summer –it's early spring. Remember when I said that the sky wasn't a romantic kind of sky? I was wrong. The sky has never looked more watchable and I bet I would be able to lie down on a blanket and watch it for hours and hours. I have been tilting my head up for such a long time that I have given myself a case of extreme dizziness and it causes me to lose my balance and it inevitably makes me bump into Brittany once more.

"I am starting to believe that you are doing that on purpose." She says bashfully and when I know that she is watching me I shrug. "You know you can hold my hand if you want to." She then says and I smile at her as I let my hand trace along her arm down to her hand.

* * *

Our steps start to become smaller and our speed becomes much slower. I don't think our movements count as walking anymore. It is almost like we are dragging our feet forward –like human snails. I know why I do it; I don't want to get back to my room. I can only hope that she doesn't want to go back to her either.

"Your hand is soft…" Brittany acknowledges suddenly. "It's not as firm as my dad's." I mentally panic because I am pretty sure that she is about to figure this out.

"Um…no, I have small hands." I answer her and she squeezes my hand a little.

"I like them. They are easy to hold." She smiles at me and I exhales deeply before I chuckle.

"Good." I say and then we reach the narrowed path that leads to the school. I grumble a little to myself when I see the school. It's a large building that stands tall among all the trees. The big lights that shine over the stadium can be seen together with the higher part of the bleachers. Whoever built this school wasn't afraid of spending money.

We slow down even more, which should be impossible, when we step into the school's area. Brittany sighs and then she gives me a sad smile.

"This is it." She says and I glare a little at the building before I turn so that I am standing right in front of her.

"I guess." I say and then I look down at the red jacket that I am wearing. I have to give it back to her but that means that I have to let go of her hand. This is the hardest dilemma I have ever been through. I throw a glance at the road we came from and then back to Brittany. "Say what, I walk you back, halfway." She smiles at me. "Otherwise you have to walk all the way back alone."

"I was hoping you would say that…" Brittany admits and I grin at her. We turn around and start walking back towards the highway that can barely be seen from here.

She grabs a hold of my arm with the hand that isn't squeezing my hand. I lean into her a little and when you think about it –it's almost like we are hugging as we are walking –like a walking-hug- a walk-hug.

* * *

Unfortunately we reach the highway and once again I position myself right in front of her. I don't hesitate this time; instead, I just unzip my jacket and hand it back to her. She hugs it to her body and then she gives me one of those smiles that have the power to give me a heart-failure.

"This is it…again." She giggles and so do I.

"I've had a really good time, despite the cold popcorns." I tell her honestly and she nods before she takes a step closer to me and gives me a hug. She drops the jacket to the ground as she throws her arms around my neck. I lean into her and place my arms around her waist.

"See you tomorrow?" She whispers.

"Yes." I answer her and then she lets go of me and backs away. I shiver a bit because it suddenly becomes very cold and she scrunches her nose at me and picks up the jacket from the ground. She flings it over my shoulder and keeps her hands there.

"You can give it back later." She says and I thank her. I look at her arms, her neck, her lips, her smile and then all I can see is her eyes. They come closer towards me and closer. Suddenly they are really close and then I feel it. Her soft lips as they brush against my own. I didn't mean for this to happen –I really didn't. But when she has her lips on mine there's no turning back. I place my hands on her cheek and bring her face closer. She smiles. I don't see it because I have my eyes closed –but I can feel it. It causes me to smile too but when her lips start moving against my own I suddenly become very serious. I move my hands from her cheek into her hair and combs through it so that my hands lands on the back of her head.

She presses her lips against mine one more time before she leans her head against my forehead and sighs. I keep my hands tightly around her for yet another moment but then I let them fall to my sides as I take a step away.

"I can't wait for tomorrow." I say and she smiles and shakes her head.

"Me neither." She says right before she licks her lips and throws a glance across the way. "I'll see you tomorrow." She says before she leans in and hugs me one more time and then she turns around to cross the street. I watch her until I see that she is safe on the other side and then I skip back to school. I skip because the butterflies in my belly are keeping me from walking like a normal person -The butterflies are almost making me fly.

* * *

(**Two days before the game)**

"But you can't do that!" I let out frustrated as I watch the principal take yet another sip from his coffee-cup. "How does that change anything?"

"It will guarantee that I get to keep an eye on you almost every day. It was the best solution I could come up with that didn't involve sending you straight home to Philadelphia." Will says and raises his eyebrows at me. "It's not that bad."

"It's joining the Glee Club!" I say bitterly. "Could it get any worse?" I place my head in my hands and sigh. "I am on the soccer-team…I can't be in Glee Club too."

"Hugo," He says and then he stands up and walks over to his prize-cabinet. "It's actually fun –arts is fun." He watches the prizes and medals for a few seconds before he spin around and smiles. "And maybe having a soccer-player in Glee Club will encourage other kids to join." He claps his hands together and I roll my eyes.

"So you are punishing me by letting me work as some kind of inspirer?" I mutter and he nods his head a tad too eagerly. "Fine…I'll do it –can I get back to class now?"

* * *

"Late again I see." Mr. Scot, the History teacher says as I carefully open his door and steps into his classroom.

"I have a very valid explanation for my absence-"I start but he puts his index-finger in front of his mouth and hushes at me. I frown a bit at him and then I let my eyes scan the room. Quinn is sitting in the back of the classroom and patting the chair next to her –but Rachel is also seeking my attention. She is sitting in the other corner of the classroom with a small smile on her face. She mouths for me to come and I flicker my eyes between her and Quinn for a moment but then I feel a tap on my shoulder so I spin around. Mr. Scot is standing behind me with a serious expression on his face.

"What are you waiting for?" He asks me quietly and then he motions for all the free chairs in the classroom. "Just pick one and sit down."

"I will do that sir-"

"Will you keep it down?" He hisses at me. "People are trying to read in here.

"Is that all you'll as us to do in this class, read?" I whisper and he glares at me so I quickly go and sit down next to Rachel. I send Quinn an apologetic smile and she shrugs.

"My dad would not stop talking about you yesterday." Rachel whispers as I place my books on the desk. "Not that I complain or anything..."

"Which one of them?" I ask her with a smile as I flip my book open at a random page. Rachel looks down at my book and then she takes it from me and opens it on the right page instead.

"LeRoy." She answers and I nod. He was the one who drove me home if I am not mistaken.

"What did he say?" I whisper as I pretend to read the book to keep the teacher's eyes away from me.

"Ah he is just so excited about that game." Rachel tells me. "He even-"

"Rachel Berry." The teacher says without looking up from his papers or saying anything more. I nudge Rachel's arm and chuckle a little before I tell her that we can talk at lunch.

* * *

When I woke up this morning I hoped that I would have literature today so that I would get to spend time with Brittany but it turned out I don't. I only have a bunch of boring and unnecessary subjects that nobody, not even the teachers, care about. So after every boring class I walk around the corridors and hope that I will run into Brittany –but of course I don't. I'll have to wait all day until soccer and cheerleading practice to see her and the time is moving very slowly.

* * *

I meet Rachel at lunch just as planned and we also run into Blaine and Kurt. Yes, both of them –together. I think that they are dating now. We have soup for lunch so I don't eat much and I spend pretty much the rest of the day hungry.

* * *

At soccer practice the rain is pouring down and the soccer-field soon looks like a mudwrestling- pool. And guess what? Just because of the fact that the cheerleading coach at this schools is a bit OCD, the cheerios got to practice inside: which means that I don't get to see Brittany.

"Hugo!" Beastie calls and I turn to look at her. "Why aren't you playing?" Oh, I forgot I was playing. I try to focus on the game instead of walking around thinking and it turns out that playing is actually a very good way to get rid of all your inner anger. If you have any anger, that is.

The whole team takes turns in falling like Bambi on the muddy field, which causes our coach to laugh so much that she is on the verge of passing out. We don't mean to fall, but if you run as fast as you can in one direction and then suddenly decide to run in another direction it is kind of given that you will fall like a dead fly.

* * *

**(One day before the game)**

"Quinn, can I talk to you?" I say as I grab a hold of Quinn's hand and drag her into the girls' bathroom.

"You can't be here!" One of the girls in there says and I roll my eyes at her.

"Oh please –even I have bigger boobs than you –are you sure that _you _are in the right room?" I reply and she huffs at me and walks away. Quinn chuckles a little as she leans against the sink.

"What do you want?" She asks me and when she tries to get a hold of my hand I back away.

"It's about us." I say carefully and I think she gulps before she fixes her cheerleading skirt and looks at me with a somewhat quizzical expression.

"What about us?"

"It can't happen…" I say gently and she frowns at me before she crosses her arms and bites the inside of her cheek.

"Why?" She asks me and she sound so small.

"I don't see you that way…"

"Are you gay or something?"

"Um, this is awkward…" I mumble quietly to myself before I look at her and sigh. "I like girls –and that's the truth."

"But you don't like me?" Quinn says and then she glares at one girl who tries to enter the bathroom. The girl quickly turns on her heel and walks the other way.

"No." I say gently since I really don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, actually.

"Okay." She says and looks down at the floor. "We can still be friends, right?" She asks me and I nod. "So, can we like, meet up in my dorm later tonight and talk?" Wow, she seems to take this unbelievably well. I nod again and then she walks out of there.

One down- one to go and then I can tell Brittany the truth. I walk out of the bathroom and scan the corridor in case Rachel or Brittany is there. They are not, so I continue to my next class which is science.

* * *

Finding Rachel Berry turns out to be a very difficult task and when half of the day has gone by and I haven't seen her I start to wonder if she's sick. I hope she's not sick, poor thing. I sit down on one of the many benches, which are standing in a long line throughout the entire corridor, and looks out the window.

The rain is still pouring down so there are very few people outside on campus. I lean my forehead against the glass and let out a big breath. It fogs up the glass so I bring my finger to it and draw the letter 'B'. I notice that I am quite evidentially acting like a girl so I use my hand to get rid of it.

"There you are!" I hear Brittany's voice behind me so I turn to look at her with a giant smile.

"There I am? There you are!" I say and she giggles a little as she sits down next to me. "I have been looking for you forever!"

"Yeah right, forever." She raises her eyebrows at me and I tell her that I mean it. I reach over and take her hand in mine which causes her to smile at me. I don't realize that I am sporting a grin just like hers until my jaw starts to hurt and I have to relax.

"Are you coming to watch the game tomorrow?" I ask her timidly as she starts to play with my extremely girly fingers.

"Yup, I kind of have to, considering I have to perform in the half-time." She says and then she brings my hand to her lips and kisses it.

"Do you-um- maybe –want to do something with me in my dorm afterwards?" I ask her and when she giggles at me and wonders 'what' with a very funny expression I swear I become crimson red and hide my face in my hands. "I mean, like, talk or watch a movie or something like that."

"Count me in." She says and then she glances at one of the clocks and stands up without letting go of my hand. "Walk me to class?" She then says and I nod at her still a bit embarrassed.

* * *

It's later that they when I finally find Rachel and she is not where I expect her to be…not at all. She is standing outside of Quinn's dorm. She is fiddling with her braided hair and smiles at me when she sees me.

"Hi," I say a bit taken aback. "What- what are you doing here…I thought you hated Quinn."

"Hate is a very loaded word, Hugo. I prefer to call it extreme dislike." She pushes herself away from the wall and walks up to me.

"I walked into the girls' bathroom today and Quinn was in there and she might have told me something about seeing you, just to piss me off. So I came here to see if she was telling the truth…which she is."

"Rachel I-"

"No, I get it." She interrupts me and smiles sadly. "Quinn is a very pretty girl –probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen." She looks down at her hands and then at the door. "But- but the thing is that I-"

The door to Quinn's dorm opens and the blonde girl steps out of her room. She frowns at me and Rachel and then she crosses her arms.

"Rachel?" Quinn settles her eyes on Rachel for a moment and then she looks back at me. "You brought Rachel?"

"No –I-"

"No, he didn't." Rachel says with a sigh as she takes a step forward and kind of positions herself in front of me. "I came here because I need to tell Hugo something." I push Rachel away a little so that she doesn't cover me.

"I also have to say something!" Quinn chuckles. It's _not_ a happy chuckle that comes out because her stomach feels bubbly. She chuckles because she's mad.

"What is it? Just tell me then!" I say and it comes out sounding a bit harsher than I intended. Rachel turns around so that she is looking at me.

"I think I love you…" She lets out.

"I like you!" Quinn says at the same time and I open my mouth to say something- but nothing but air comes out.

Quinn groans and glares a little at Rachel, who in turn covers her face with her hands.

"This is…insane." I mumble and both of them nod at me. "Quinn I just told you that I don't see you that way…" I then say as I look at her. She bites her lip and looks down at the floor.

"But you like Rachel?" She asks me and Rachel moves her hands away from her face. "Don't you?"

"Quinn, give me one moment with Rachel, please." I look at her with a sad expression and she waves her hand in front of her face. "We can talk afterwards…"

"So it's true? You like her?" She says and I'm pretty sure she is about to cry.

"Quinn-"I start but stop when she turns around and walks back into her room.

"Forget it!" She yells before she shut the door close.

The blood in my face drains and my hands begins to shake. I stumble back a couple of steps and then I sit down on the floor. Rachel immediately sits down next to me.

"Thanks a lot."

"I'm so sorry…" Rachel replies and I roll my eyes at her. "I really am."

"It's none of your business if I'm seeing Quinn or not!" I tell her with a hunch of desperation in my voice. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to end/ stop things in a friendly way.

"I know…but can't you see why I did it?" She looks down at her hands and then back at my face.

"It doesn't matter, Rachel." I stand up again and so does she. "I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend!" She cries out and I cross my arms. "I _am_ your friend, Hugo." She gives me a nervous smile.

"And you understand that we are just friends?" I ask her and her smile fades.

"Yeah…" She shakes her head and dries a tear that is rolling down her cheek. "Of course, because you don't see me that way, right?"

"You are awesome Rachel. You seriously are." I take a step forward and use my sleeve to dry another tear that rolls down her cheek. "But I don't see us being more than friends, no." She takes a step away and then she gives me a sad smile before she walks away with quick steps. Her footsteps echoes through the hallway and I wait until they fade away completely until I head back to my own dorm downstairs.

* * *

"I opened the window to hang out our soccer clothes to let them dry…" Puck chuckles when I enter. "But I clearly forgot that it was raining!" He says and then he points to a pile of wet clothes that are pressed up against the wall underneath the window. "How stupid am I?"

I sigh at him and sit down at my bed.

"That's not all though." He chuckles again. "When I realized that it was raining I went to throw the clothes in the bathtub…but then I accidentally broke the lock!" I look over at the bathroom door and then I groan as I fall back in my bed. "Sorry, I guess now we have to knock." I nod at him and he smiles but when he gets a good look of my face his smile fades. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing…" I tell him and then I bury my face in the pillow.

"Then cheer up! The game is tomorrow!" He walks over to his bag and opens it. "Look." He says as he picks up two t-shirts and he throws one of them to me. "It's our game shirts!"

Suddenly I feel a bit better. This is what I came here for –to play- And now it is really happening!

* * *

**Phew…finally done I hope that this all answered all of your questions. **

_**Feel free to go back and read chapter 8 because we'll be picking up from there the next chapter!**_

*Spoiler*

**- Kidding! You don't get any spoilers because next chapter will be kind of awesome!**

**Thoughts?**


	11. Chapter 11

Shoooooooort chapter, I know :-/

* * *

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS, PM'S AND COMMENTS ON MY TUMBLR**!

_ICH LIEBE DICH_, TE QUIERO, _TE AMO_, I LOVE YOU, _JEG ELSKER DIG_, JE T'AIME and finally in my own language: _JAG ÄLSKAR DIG _

* * *

**Chapter 11 (Back at chapter 8)**

"Puck, are you…are you gay?" Sam asks and when I look around I notice that everyone –_everyone, _is staring at us.

Puck's eyes widen in chock as he takes a couple of steps away from me and quickly shakes his head from side to side.

"No." He says quietly and some of the other team's players start laughing at him so he turns to look at them with a sour expression. "No! I'm not!" Puck then yells at them before he focuses his attention on me again. His eyes are practically begging me to do something so I take one giant step towards him and slap him right across his cheek. He looks at me in utter shock as the whole arena once again goes completely silent. "What the hell was that for?" He hisses at me angrily.

"Hit me!" I hiss back at him and he looks at me like I've gone mad.

"I can't hit you!" He mumbles while I glare at him. "You're a girl." He then whispers and I raise my hands to shove him way. He catches my hands before they touch his chest. "Why? Why should I hit you?" He lets go of my hands and pushes me away instead.

"I can't think of anything else to do…but…I figured if you like me –you wouldn't want to hurt me…so if you hurt me, you might convince people that you actually hate me." I say before I look down at his hands. "So, hit me!"

"No!" He yells at me before he crosses his arms and takes a step closer to me as if to make sure that our conversation can't be overheard. "And thanks, _Santana, _for making it look like we are having a fight. This is entirely your fault!"

"How can you blame me for this?" I hiss at him. "You kissed _me." _

"I didn't mean to –And this wouldn't be a problem if you weren't the history's biggest liar!" He practically yells at me just as Coach Beastie rushes to our side and grabs a hold of my arm. As if _I _was the one who needed to be pulled away from him and not the other way around.

"Calm down, boys!" She mutters at us and I groan in frustration. "What is going on here?" She looks at Puck with a frown which he gladly returns.

"Maybe you should ask _him."_

"Shut it Puckerman!" I yell at him. This time I don't sound angry –just scared.

"What's going on, Hugo?" Beastie looks at me with a disappointed expression as she lets go of my arm.

"Hugo…" Puck chuckles and I glare at him. "Tell her, _Hugo. _What's really going on here?"

I open my mouth to say something but not a single sound comes out. I close my eyes and inhale deeply before I look up at Puck. My teary eyes lock with his and his rough expression suddenly softens. He flicker his eyes between me and Beastie for a moment and just as I am about to talk he holds his hand out in front of me.

"I –I have feelings for Hugo, I guess." He then admits and Coach Beastie gives him a sad smile. "But he doesn't feel the same way…He's in love with Brittany." He says and I immediately turn to look at Brittany who is looking down at her feet. I don't think she heard that –thank God.

"Alright then, that's no reason to fight. If you save all this anger and testosterone for the game instead we'll win." Our Coach lets out and then she walks over to the other team's Coach to tell him something.

"Thank you." I say a bit breathlessly and Puck shrugs at me. "No, I mean it. Thank you."

* * *

After that the game kind of continues just like before. The biggest difference is that some of the other team's guys stay a bit further away from Puck and me. We might fall in love with them or kiss them if they come to close, you know. They better not risk it…I honestly believe that's what goes through their extremely small and ignorant brains.

Sucks for them though because that totally means that Puck and I are given a lot more goal- opportunities than before –Which means, despite the fact that my leg hurts, that we manage to score more than them and I think you know what that means. It means that we win –we _so _win.

The audience goes bananas when the soccer referee finally blows the whistle to signal that the game is over. Our soccer team gathers in the middle of the field to celebrate the victory. Everyone is cheering happily as they hug each other tightly in a big group-hug… but I can't even manage to put a smile on my face. I keep looking over to the cheerleaders who jump up and down right next to the bleachers. Their arms are stretched out over their heads and all of them are shaking their red and white pompoms with huge grins on their faces. They are all so happy - Even Puck is smiling…everybody is happy –except for me.

* * *

I barely even acknowledge when my feet start walking towards the cheerleaders –or more specifically –towards Brittany and it kind of catches me off guard when I hear her voice.

"I think this is an appropriate time to say 'I told you so'." Brittany grins at me when I reach her but when she sees my expression her smile kind of fades. "What is it?"

"We need to talk." I tell her and she looks at me worriedly. I hold out my hand so that she can intertwine our fingers and then I pull her away from the squad and walk with her all the way to the parking lot so that we can be alone. I make sure not to make any eye-contact with Quinn but I don't even have to look at her to know that she is looking at me. Her gaze is pretty much burning into the back of my head and it honestly hurts.

"Is it about you and Puck?" She asks me sadly when we come to a stop. I frown a bit at her before my lips form a smile.

"There's no such thing as 'Puck and I', okay?" I look at her and she nods. "But –but this is serious." I then let out and she bites her lip.

"Okay…you can tell me." She says gently as I take a deep breath. I look at her for a moment without saying anything. If this doesn't go well, if this goes badly- this might be the last time I'm standing so close to her. The thought of losing her forever suddenly strikes me and it causes my stomach to sting. Yes, it stings- It actually hurts, almost as if, not only my heart, but my soul is about to break. I can't lose her yet. I can't lose her because…she has never even been mine. What if she never wants to see me again?

I give her a small, reassuring smile before I look down at our joined hands. They fit so perfectly together. Who's going to hold her hand now?

Suddenly, without warning, I let out a whimper and she looks at me –her blue eyes are wide and focused on my face. I let go of her hand to hug my body as I completely break down. Tears are streaming down my cheeks but I don't care –I can't focus on anything but gasping for air.

"What did I do?" Brittany lets out a bit alarmed and I shake my head back and forth because I can't manage to form even a single word. "What's wrong?"

"I –I," I stammer out with a sniffle and then I inhale deeply. "I'm sorry!" I cry out as she steps forward and embraces me in a tight hug. I adore her so much that it scares me –It terrifies me that someone, other than me, can have such a control over what I feel. I barely even know her but she means so much to me. "Brittany…" I let out after a moment and she lets go of me to take a step back.

"What is it?" She looks at me with her lips pursed together in a thin line. "Please tell me."

I hesitate a little before I take a single step and crash my lips against hers. It's so weird that this act of pressing my lips against hers while exchanging a small amount of breath, accidentally clicking my teeth against hers and touching her tongue with mine, can mean so much and feel so good – so soothing. It should be disgusting, just think about it. But it's not.

She cradles her arms around my neck so I place my hands on her lower back to pull her closer to me. Her entire body is pressed up against mine and when a moan suddenly leaves my mouth I open my eyes wide.

"Wait." I let out as I grab a hold of her arms and pull them away from around my neck. She licks her lips as a frown forms on her normally happy face.

"What is it?" She asks a bit irritated and when I don't show any singns that I am about to answer, she crashes her lips against mine again. My heart is pounding wildly in my chest and I wonder if hers is behaving the same way –I like to think it is. This kiss is much harder than the previous one but I can't seem to get enough. I stand on my toes to reach her properly, it kind of helps that she is holding my face in her hands and tilting it up towards her lips. She is taller than me...quite a lot too.

* * *

She takes my breath away –she literary takes my breath away so I stop kissing her and rest my forehead against hers instead. I'm panting a little but I don't care –because she is doing it too and each time her breath hits my skin I shiver a little. "What did you bring me here for?" She asks me after a moment and I close my eyes to gather my thoughts. I need to tell her the truth, I know that. But how do you tell the person you just kissed that you are not the person that they think you are. I'm not Hugo, I never was.

"I don't want to ruin this moment." I tell her and she giggles a little. "I like you, I really do." I then add and she turns serious again. She kisses my nose before she stands up straight to look at me properly. I let out a shaky breath as I shake my head at her a little.

"But…?" She asks me and I frown. "You like me- but?"

I look at her with a small smile as I grab a hold of her soft hand and squeeze it. Here it goes...

"Before I tell you, I want you to know that I never meant for this to happen," I say as I move my hand to motion for the small space between us. "And I never wanted it to go this far…But I couldn't stop…Because being close to you felt right. It _feels_ right."

"I like you too but right now you are making me nervous –Just tell me." She says quietly and I clasp my hands together to give myself some strength. It doesn't work but it was worth a shot.

"I'm not who you think I am." I mumble and she frowns at me.

"Meaning?"

"I have no idea how to tell you this…"

"Hugo it's OK, you can-"

"That's the thing." I look at her with a sad expression. "I'm not- I'm not…"

"You are not what?"

"Hugo." She looks at me with a quizzical expression and I bite my lip before I speak again. "I'm not Hugo, I'm-"

"Santana." She interrupts me with a frown and I look at her with wide eyes.

* * *

**_She knowsssss *gasp*_**

I haven't been in the writing –mood lately so I apologize for making you wait! But I've sort of been a bit depressed :( It's silly, really. But I just watched the end of season two in Doctor Who and it broke my heart. DW –fans know what I am talking about! I cried myself to sleep! Urg…I also watched the end of season 4, which also made me cry…

In other words, I have been crying instead of writing. AND I really need to get a life…Hmm.

I'll try to update soon. But not with 7000 word long chapters like before, more like 4500.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi, I missed all of you!:) I hope you enjoy this even though it's minor Brittana action. I'll see you down there…..at the end of the page **

*Continue***

Chapter 12

* * *

_"Santana?" She looks at me with a small smile as my eyes widen in shock. _

"How do –how can you know my name?" My eyes widen some more as my mouth goes completely dry.

"So it's true?" Brittany crosses her arms before she looks down at the ground with an expression that I can't quite read.

"Yeah, yes…but how do you know?" I take a small step back since I have a feeling she doesn't want to be that close to me anymore.

"I didn't – But that's the name you introduced yourself to my mother with…Santana."

"Have you known ever since?"

"No," She chuckles sadly before she lifts her head up and looks at me. Or more like _stares at me. Y_ou can say that she checks me out, if you will. "I had forgotten about that…up until now."

"I'm sorry, Brittany. I am so sorry." My voice is a bit shaky so I clear my throat before I speak again. "So…you had no idea?

"Not really –I mean you always did seem a bit too sensitive to be a guy, especially a jock… and maybe a bit too feminine - with your small hands and all. But I guess I never really thought about it…I trusted you –It never crossed my mind that you were lying to me."

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to lie, especially not to you –I know that lying is bad and that it always backfires." I say before I let out a big breath and reach out my hand to grab hers. She steps away from me and shakes her head so I casually place my arms across my chest. Not to look mad or superior or anything –I just need my arms there to keep myself from falling apart again. I want her to know that I'm sorry –I don't want her to think that I'm a crybaby…There's a fine line.

"Sometimes you just have to lie to be able to live –I get that. But sometimes you don't. Sometimes it's the opposite where you need to be honest, to everyone who cares about you and…to yourself." She shrugs her shoulders as if to say that it's _that _simple. But it's not. I look at her with my lips pursed together in a thin line. I have no idea how I'm supposed to respond to that…so I just look at her. Brittany's unbelievably blue eyes are digging into my skin as they repeatedly move from my feet up to my head before they settle on my chest area. That's weird, I notice.

"You don't seem mad." I let out and her eyes immediately leave my chest and moves up to my eyes. She shakes her head a little, her movements barely visible.

"I'm not mad –I get it. I'm just-"

"Disappointed?" I interrupt her with a sigh. I would have been disappointed too.

"No."

"No?"

"I mean, yeah, a little. But mostly I'm just confused." She tells me before she throws a glance across her shoulder and when I mimic her I realize that a bunch of people are making their way towards the parking-lot. I start to reach my hand for hers again, to pull her away –to go somewhere private. But I stop when I remember how she doesn't want to hold my hand anymore. Instead I point at a pretty majestic tree that is growing in the middle of the campus. She gives me a small nod so we walk over to it in silence. I sit down underneath it, leaning my back against the thick tree-trunk. Brittany doesn't sit down until I tug a little at her cheerleading skirt.

"I get that you are confused," I start without looking at her. "You like me…and now I'm not a boy, now I'm suddenly a girl and-"

"That's not why I'm confused." She interrupts me by placing her hand on my knee. "I don't care whether you are a guy or a girl –I've never cared about that." She removes her hand and places it in her lap instead. "I'm confused about my feelings."

"You are?"

"Yeah…I mean, I thought I liked you…I really did. But the things that I loved about you aren't real. Like, I loved your modesty and how honest you always were, but that wasn't real. Those qualities were all made up."

"I haven't lied to you." I blurt out and she raises her eyebrows at me. "I mean, apart from the whole gender situation. But I have never _not _been myself and I have always been honest."

"No, that's just another lie." She looks down at her hands with a sigh. "I trusted you."

"And you had every right to!" I let out a bit frustrated. "Look, you can still trust me. Everything that I have ever told you was real…I never lied."

"Letting me assume things and not correcting me is kind of like lying." Brittany tells me with a hunch of annoyance in her normally bubbly and sweet voice. I have a feeling that I am truly pissing her off. "And mention one thing that you have told me that wasn't cooked in a French dish of lies." I look at her with a small frown before I take a deep breath.

"I said I liked you…that was –is true." I give her a small smile, which turns into a grin when she smiles back. "I think that…I might even be falling for you." I regret saying it as soon as it leaves my mouth and I regret it even more when it causes her beautiful smile to fade. "Can you tell me, honestly, that you aren't falling for me too?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling." Her answer is short, simple and even though it's clearly not an insult it leaves me feeling almost sick to my stomach. I'm finally putting myself out there and this happens?

"I know that you are- even if you refuse to admit it or tell me…I can feel it."

Brittany is just about to respond to that when Puck comes running towards us. Great.

"Santana!" He shouts at us from the top of his lungs. If it wasn't for the fact that I have already told Brittany the truth, I would have killed him.

"He knows?" Brittany asks me in a small voice. She bites her lip and shakes her head at herself; it makes me wonder what she's thinking.

"I was naked… in the bathroom, the lock isn't working, and he saw me-"

"Wait, what?" Her previous expression, which was pretty cute, morphs into something not so cute. Actually, she's always cute. But she looks like she wants to kill me. I bet that's the way I normally look at Puck- poor guy. "Puck kissed you," She points her thump at him as he comes closer and closer. Her mouth opens a little as realization hits her. "He's not gay," Brittany then lets out a bit surprised. No shit…"Did- Do you want to kiss him too?" I answer by shaking my head furiously from side to side. I hope she knows how serious I am.

"Santana!" Puck yells again and I grunt before I turn my attention to him. He is near us now. Running just a couple of meters away…so there is no reason for him to yell.

"What?" I exclaim when he reaches us. He uses the hem of his game-shirt to dry a few drops of sweat from his forehead. He is panting a bit and at first I worry that something terrible might have happened. But when I catch a glance of the soccer field and see all the people still cheering I throw that thought in the garbage can of my brain. "What?" I repeat and he looks at me with wide eyes. He is leaning forward, towards us, with his hands placed on his knees for support.

"Your mother is coming." Puck lets out in a voice that doesn't really belong to him. I open my mouth…I'm pretty sure it dropped to the ground. I mentally pick it up before I speak.

"My m-m-mom?" I look over at Brittany who looks almost as scared as I feel. Puck nods before he stands up straight and points at the stadium.

"I heard the principal talking about it to our Coach."

"How can you know that they talked about my mom? There are plenty of students at this school... all of them have a mom….wait, that's a lie…Berry doesn't. But my point still stands." I try to convince myself that he is wrong but I'm not doing a very good job.

"They said 'Hugo's mother… Mable Lopez' I think it's safe to say that they are talking about you."

"Maribel Lopez." I correct him and he nods. "Fuck!" I let out before I jump to my feet. "When will she be here? Why would she even come here? She wouldn't…unless she knows…But she can't know." I space out for a moment but come back to reality when Brittany stands up beside me.

"She's coming now." Puck says with a gulp and I shake my head at him.

"No, she's not."

"Yes, she is." He argues with me and before I get a chance to say 'no, she's not' again, he grabs a hold of my shoulders and spins me around so that I am facing the parking lot. Sure enough…there she is.

"Fuck!" I say again as I turn back to Puck. "Cover me." I plead and he smiles a little at me.

"I'm pretty sure she has already seen you." He says quietly and I take a deep breath before I look down at my feet. "Does she look mad?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"Um…she looks kind of happy…" Brittany mumbles. I had almost forgotten about her. _Almost. _I always think about her, even when I'm not thinking about her. She's always on my mind.

"Oh, I'm dead." I say quietly which causes both Puck and Brittany to look at me quizzically.

"Hugo!" My mother calls happily from behind me and I guess that is the answer to whatever question Puck and Brittany might have had. 'Go' I mouth to Puck so he grabs a hold of Brittany's arm and starts walking away. I'm dead –I'm so dead.

* * *

"Hugo!" My mother acclaims with a huge smile. I think she's smiling, but I'm not sure because I am facing the other way. "Honey? Is everything alright?" Her voice suddenly changes a little. Is that worry I hear? I hesitate a little before I spin around. I close my eyes and I don't open them for a very long moment. I don't want to see her expression.

"Santana?" She lets out after a moment of silence.

"Yes, mom." I say as I open my eyes to look at her. One of her hands is placed over her mouth and the crease in her forehead is larger than normal. She takes a couple of steps closer to me and grabs a hold of my face with her free hand. She moves my head from side to side for a moment before she lets go of my cheeks.

"What have you done?" She asks me. Her voice sounds almost as shocked as she looks. But there's something else in her voice too, other than shock, I think that it's disgust.

"I cut my hair, mom." I say, trying to sound very casual. She shakes her head at me before she grabs a hold of my shirt.

"Why are you wearing these filthy clothes and," She stretches out the shirt towards her and throws a glance down my shirt. "And why have you covered your chest like this?" She lets go of my shirt before she throws her hands up in the air and shakes her head at me. She turns around, like she is too disgusted to look at me.

"I wanted to play soccer, mom." I sound like a six year old –I wish I was a six year old.

"You always manage to ruin my day, Santana." She tells me with a sigh. "Ever since the day you were born."

"Gee, thanks." I say and once again I have to act like words don't hurt me. "It's so nice of you to show up here to let me know how much of a disappointed I am to you."

"Don't make me sound like the bad guy here, Santana." She points her index-finger at me. Bad guy? She really does think that I'm evil. "I came here believing that my son had been in some trouble…the principal believed that it would do him good to speak to me." She starts pacing back and forth and when I try to grab a hold of her arm she shakes me off. "Then I heard that my son had won one of the most important games in soccer and I was thrilled."

"Mom, Hugo doesn't even play soccer." I look at her with a quizzical expression that she just shrugs off.

"But no," She drags out the 'o' for about a billion years before she continues. "It's not my dear son, it's my daughter." My mom almost spits the word 'daughter' out. I think that it's almost like a bad word in her ears.

"I'm such a disappointment." I humor her and she stops pacing.

"Yes, yes you are." She says honestly and I look down at the ground. It feels good to be loved.

"I bet you didn't even plan to see me," I chuckle like I always do when I'm mad at her. "You probably planned to come here, talk to Hugo, and then get the hell out of here before you accidentally walked into me or something."

"Don't be silly." She lets out like I just told her the joke of the year. "I wanted to see you too." She looks down at the ground while saying this. Very convincing…

"Where's Hugo anyway?" She wonders after a moment of silence.

"You are looking at him, mom." I joke and turn around to show her the back of my shirt that says 'H. Lopez'. She doesn't look very entertained so I give her a sad smile before I tell her the truth.

"Hugo's not with us anymore." I tell her sadly and when her eyes widen: "Oh, God –he's not dead or anything! He's just not here, _here._" Her feature softens a bit and then she asks me to elaborate. "Well, long story short…Hugo's living with two drug dealers in a small apartment in New York." She crosses her arms at me.

"Tell me the truth." She demands in a not so friendly, motherly tone.

"That…was the truth."

"You think you are so funny with your small jokes all the time- I just want to know where my son is!"

"He. Is. In. New. York." I tell her and she shakes her head at me in disbelief.

"The principal just told me that Hugo had been in trouble…I think they would have told me sooner if my son had run away to New York."

"God, you are slow." I mumble quietly to myself, but judging on her expression, I'm quite certain that she heard me. "I am Hugo."

"No, you are Santana."

"God, mom! Hugo is in NY and I'm here…I'm Hugo. At least that's what people think." She remains quiet for a while before she glares at me and asks me 'what the hell' I'm saying. I know that mom is angry now…she swore.

"I've been lying…I made a huge mistake." I say before I start biting on the inside of my cheek. It doesn't take long before I can taste blood.

"I am calling the police!" My mom then lets out before she reaches into her purse.

"You- are you going to have the police come and get me?" I look at her with wide eyes.

"No," She rolls her eyes at me. "My seventeen year old son is living with two drug dealers in NY." She then adds before she holds the phone against her ear.

* * *

The police don't say much. According to my mom they are too lazy to intervene. I know that the reason they refuse to do anything is because he isn't missing. Kids run away all the time and they have more important things to take care off.

I almost believed that my mom was going to let this go; that she was going to leave me here without doing anything. I guess I don't know my own mother very well. No, after talking to the police on the phone she marched over to the principal and yelled at him. She said something about 'not living up to his part of the agreement', which would be taking care of me and keeping me out of trouble. I wish it was just the principal she yelled at, I mean, it was, but he was standing by the entrance of the stadium and a lot of people were making their way out of there. Among others were Rachel's dads. They looked at me funny and I'm sure they are going to tell Rachel everything. I can't believe I'll never get the chance to tell her myself. Rachel was my friend and she deserves better than this.

That's not all my mother did. She also kicked my butt all the way to my dorm. (Not really –but I think she wanted to.) And then she watched me as a hawk as I packed all my stuff. At one point, Puck came in to the room and my mother started him down. He whispered an apology and then he gave me the saddest of smiles before he left.

* * *

When I'm done packing and ready to go home I sit down at one of the benches outside as my mother call for Ritchie to get over here. He came with her but instead of visiting us, Hugo and me, he decided to head over to college to chat with one of his old mates. When my mother hangs up the phone she sits down next to me and sighs.

"Do you ever think about how much shame you are putting over our family?" She asks me and before I get a chance to answer, she speaks again. "Just this once, I am actually glad that your father is gone because seeing what kind of person you have turned into would have broken his heart. I can't even look at you."

I sit in silence for a while but then I come to think of something I have wanted to ask her forever…well, at least since she came here today. I wait a couple of minutes before I dare to open my mouth.

"Mom, is this about me being gay or about me dressing out as a boy?"

"You are not gay, Santana!" My mother scoffs at me. "Can you stop saying that? I try so hard to understand you and accept that you are going through this phase-"

"You are unbelievable!" I let out just as Ritchie pulls up with the car in front of us. He jumps out of the car and gives me a small hug before he grabs the bag from my hand and throws it into the backseat. My mom greets him with a kiss upon his cheek and it makes me cringe. Whoever said that parents have a tendency to favor their sons was dead wrong.

"Get in the car!" She then turns to me with a sour expression.

"Mom-"Ritchie says in a calm tone to make her stop.

"Not now, Ritchie."

"I can't believe that you hate me this much…" I say as I get in and close the door. I press my face against the window like a little kid –wishing that I might catch a glance of Brittany, Rachel…or even Quinn.

…

"Wow, I can't even…you really do hate me." I add as the car starts rolling because my mom is unusually quiet.

…

"If you are giving me the silent treatment, you should know that it's really working…" No answer.

"I don't hate you, mom. I love you…and I wish it was mutual. But I know that you think you can't- or aren't allowed to love me back." My voice breaks and I have to take a deep breath to control myself. "Ever since I came out to you, you have treated me differently. Like I'm less of a girl, like I'm not your daughter anymore…and it hurts. You stopped taking me to those fashion shows because you believed that I lost my interest in clothes…I didn't. You never ask me to have girl's night anymore. Remember those? We'd paint each other's nails and do our hair and sometimes we had our own fashion shows –the hallway used to be a runway. You said you'd take me to Paris. You said it right after daddy died. You said it to cheer me up, even though the person who needed cheering up was you. I knew that. That's why I became a cheerleader for like…a season." I stop to chuckle a little at the memory and I catch my mother's eyes in the rear-view mirror for like a second, but then she looks away. "But then I realized that it wasn't for me. Just like boys aren't for me and the other way around. The thing is that you used to have my back, mom. I trusted you –I wasn't even scared to come out to you. But then you turned me away and you became very distant. You got fired from your job because you acted out and then you were too depressed to even get a new one and you know? That didn't affect me, but it did affect Ritchie. He declined going to college, mom! He had to stay home to look after Hugo and I because you didn't!"

"Santana, it was a decision I made-"Ritchie tries to stop me like the good guy he really is.

"You shouldn't have to make that decision, don't you see? When she learnt who I really was, she stopped caring about all of us!"

"Santana –I lost my husband! I have a right to mourn!"

"I know and it sucks! But we all lost him. It really sucks…just like my life." I mumble the last part to myself, quietly. At least I got her to talk.

* * *

We drive and we drive and then we drive some more. It seems to go on forever. It starts raining and my mom is singing along to a sad song to the radio while I look out the window and pretend that I am a part of a music video. Don't pretend that you don't do the same. I don't know the name of the song that is playing but if you ask my mom it's probably a song about a woman whose daughter is a lesbian and her struggles to get her daughter back on track. Suddenly I feel a bit bad. Maybe she really is depressed about my dad's sudden death? Maybe this isn't about my sexuality at all?

"I didn't mean what I said earlier." I say after a moment. "You know, about you not caring…because you clearly do."

"You know that I don't approve of your way of living, but I'm trying really hard- but- but this is-"

"Mom, what are you so afraid off?"

"Santana-"My mom starts but I stop her before she says something insulting.

"Don't!" I meet her eyes in the rear-view mirror but this time she doesn't look mad…just sad.

"I don't think you know how hard this is on me…" She starts and I tell her to stop. "But this is my life too and-"

"Just shut up." I say it quietly, like I'm lacking energy to fully argue with her. Truth is that I just can't be bothered anymore.

"I won't accept that attitude, Santana." She shakes her head at me as her grip on the wheel tightens.

"Just like you won't accept me…"

"I accept you, honey. I just wish that you wouldn't choose to live like-"

"Choose? You think I choose to be gay? It's not a choice and you know that…" This time it's my turn to shake my head at her. "You just can't get over the fact that this is about me and not about you, can you?"

"You know how I feel about this and-"

"And what, mom? Like I _chose _to be a lesbian just to piss you off!" I almost yell at her…almost. I guess my energy suddenly reappeared. "Whatever." I then add when she doesn't say anything.

"Mom…" Ritchie chimes in as he gently places his hand on our mother's arm. She uses her other hand to pat him.

"What?" She asks him.

"She's hurting…" Ritchie says, nodding his head to the backseat where I am sitting.

"And you are blaming me for that?" My mother shakes his hand off of her arm and sighs.

"No, but you are not exactly helping."

"Don't you start with me, Ritchie –I have had enough fighting for one night."

"Stop the car." Ritchie then says in a very unfamiliar tone.

"Why?" My mother looks at him with a confused expression.

"Because I think that it's best if you get out of the car. You can take the bus home."

"What are you talking about?"

"No more fighting, right?" He looks at her with a small frown. "I've had enough too and I can't even look at you without clenching my fists and taking deep breathes, so if I were you, I'd get out. Before I explode and turn into a fit of rage."

"Ritchie-"

"Get out mom…" He looks at her with his jaw clenched and after a moment my mom pulls up by a bus stop and gets out. She slams the door shut and jogs over to the time-table.

"There's no bus until 6 o'clock." She tells Ritchie who gets out of the passenger-seat and walks over to the other side of the car.

"That's 50 minutes," Ritchie sing songs as he gets in behind the wheel. "See you tonight." He then adds before he starts the car and presses down the gas pedal.

* * *

"Thanks." I say a bit surprised as I unbuckle my seat belt and climb between the seats to sit down next to him.

"That woman is…Just don't listen to her, okay?" He places his hand on my lap and squeezes it a little before he puts it back on the wheel again.

"I'm trying not to…but she's probably right. Dad would have hated me." I let out quietly and he shakes his head.

"Mom doesn't hate you and neither would he." He assures me before we go silent for a moment.

"Mom told me that you were hanging out with two friends when she caught you." He says out of nowhere and I nod. "A guy with a Mohawk-"

"He is my roommate –Puck, he likes me. He is really...amazing, no hetero. But he stood up for me - he even said he was gay to protect me." I tell him and he chuckles.

"Sounds like a good friend." My brother smiles at me. "And there was a blonde girl, who was she?"

"Her name is Brittany."

"And…"

"She probably hates me too."

"What did you do?"

"I fell in love with her…she likes me too, but when I told her the truth... she said she needed some time."

"It doesn't sound like she hates you."

"Whatever." I sigh. "It's over anyway- I can't believe it's over. Life sucks!" I slam my hand against my leg and then I wince in pain. I had forgotten about my insignificant injury and this was a painful reminder.

"You know what people say: It has to get worse before it can get better…um, or is it: if it's really bad –it can only get better? Either way, it's probably true."

"Yeah, but every time I think that it can't possibly get worse, universe finds a way to prove me wrong."

"Are you okay, though?"

"No. I'm not." I tell him honestly. I've been really good at being honest today and it feels good.

"What can I do?" Ritchie asks me with a small smile.

"Turn back time…"

"Oh, no, I can't since my time machine is out of order and all and I don't have the money to fix it…" He jokes. "But seriously, is there anything I can do?"

"No."

* * *

**NO CLIFFHANGER THIS TIME! **

I have plans, big plans…*Quinn simgron voice*

Seriously tho, I have. Next chapter will be…*Drumrolls* …*Spoilers*…..Brittany's point of view.

_**You might not like it but it is kind of necessary. For just one chapter…so we can see what happens in school. Santana is just going to lie on her bed the entire time anyway. **_

I love you too! All of you! I really do! I so love you! Let's get married! No? Okay….:(

I hope you are all having a nice summer!

There will be a total of 15 chapters so there are 3 chapters left!


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is dedicated to the person who spent an entire day inside to read this story. (I do not understand you) I adore all of you!**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Brittany's POV (Two weeks later)**

"Hi," Someone says as they sit down next to me in literature class. I was almost about to doze off so the voice kind of startle me. "I have a message for you." The person then adds and I turn to look at him. I know who it is…I just can't put his familiar face together with a matching name, so I guess I don't really know him. He is wearing a bow-tie though, that's nice.

"Where is it?" I ask him as I look down on his empty hands. There's no letter there so I look back up on his face. His face is nice.

"Um," The boy says before he leans in a bit closer to whisper the rest. "Santana called me yesterday." I immediately perk up at the sound of that name and turn my face towards him. "She wanted me to tell you something."

I slouch back down in my seat…I feel like this is supposed to make me happy but it doesn't. I have been calling her for days and she never answered me, she didn't even send me a text…but she calls this…this guy –does she even know him?

"And what did she want?" I wonder and he adjusts the pink sunglasses that he is wearing before he answers.

"She wanted you to know that she is coming back…soon." He says with a small smile just as the door to the classroom opens and Mrs. Sanders steps inside. She is carrying a pile of heavy books.

I know that they are heavy because she is walking bent forward like she is about to drop them to the floor. I ignore her, for now, I am too busy trying to figure out who the guy next to me is.

"Is- isn't that good?" He asks me after a while and I realize that I haven't said anything in a really long time.

"I guess…" I say quietly as he removes his sunglasses.

"You don't seem too excited." He focuses his brownish eyes at me and I shrug. Do I want Santana back? Sure. But the thing is – I don't know who Santana is. Is it even possible to want someone you don't know? I know I miss her…so am I missing a stranger?

"Blaine!" I let out as I smack my own forehead. I thought he looked familiar. He was the guy who stole Quinn's first boyfriend. Of course I remember him.

"Yes?" He looks at me with a small frown but he stops when I smile at him. He looks down at the glasses in his hands and chuckles. I look at them too but I don't think they look that funny.

"How do you even know Santana?" I ask him and he tells me that he was the first person she met here. I ask him again. 'How do you know about _Santana?' _

"Everyone knows now, Brittany." He tells me. "These sorts of news spread like wildfire."

I already knew that people know…That's all people seem to be talking about here these days –How Hugo is really a girl. The stories vary a bit depending on whose it is.

I heard one girl saying that Hugo is really a transvestite which I highly doubt… Another girl said that she swore she heard him talking about getting a sex-change and I doubt that too…One story that people seem to have taken a liking to, especially the jocks, is that Hugo is actually two people…one who is really a girl and one who is really a boy –I believe that they made that one up because they didn't want people to think that a girl kicked their asses in soccer. The problem is that I don't know which story is the real one. I will ask her if she ever decides to return my calls.

"Is that how you found out?" I ask Blaine with a sad smile. "Did you hear it from one of those stupid rumors?"

"No," He answers me almost in a whisper. "She called and told me the truth only hours after she had left campus. She was pretty upset…" He stands up from his chair since the class is about to start and he isn't really supposed to be here.

"Did she ever tell you why she did it? Pretend to be a boy named Hugo, I mean?"

"Nah, I haven't talked to her much. But if you want answers I'd suggest you go and speak to Puck." He replies.

"Noah Puckerman? Why would I talk to him?"

"They were roommates and he knew her secret before anyone else… so if there's anyone here who can answer your questions, it's him." Blaine says with a small smile and then he says goodbye to me and before he leaves he makes sure to say 'Hi' to Mrs. Sanders.

* * *

The class goes by slowly…mostly because I spend the whole hour inside of my own head –replaying moments I have had with Santana. It's like watching a movie but better because you can control what you want to see. I spend most of the time replaying our kisses. I prefer the first one even though it wasn't very hot. No tongue and no heat. It was just sweet. She is sweet too. We kissed on our first date – and I never kiss people on the first date. But I couldn't resist that night because she had been so sweet, plus she totally rocked my jacket.

I remember how she walked me halfway back home so that I wouldn't have to walk alone…I play that whole scene over and over again in my mind. That gesture probably beats the kisses. Like when she took the blame for that ridiculous tampon- joke, that also beats the kisses. She didn't have to but she did and she never ever made a big deal out of it… No, I take that back, nothing can ever beat the kisses. But the thing is, that I love about her, is that she always saves everyone.

Santana also saved Quinn from Puck when he was drunk and wanted to kiss her…she also took care of Sam…But despite all of this, my favorite moment with her, ever, was something she did when she thought no one saw. It was two days after our first kiss and I had been looking for her the entire day. I found her sitting on a bench in the corridor, drawing the letter 'B' inside of a heart on the fogged up glass of the window. Because at that moment, I knew that she was thinking about me and she had this super-duper sweet look on her face.

Suddenly it hits me. I know Santana. Of course I know her. Santana is someone who always follows her heart and she always does what she believes is right. She can be mean sometimes but that's only because she is protecting herself…Like she never meant to break Quinn's heart, she was just trying to be a good friend. Santana can be very clumsy too. She is the kind of person who can trip over nothing and walk into invisible walls. Most of the time when she's clumsy I think she's nervous. Like when she spilled popcorn in my bed or sat down almost in my lap and then moved away really quickly but then she moved back again. She makes me laugh so much.

* * *

"Brittany…" Someone calls out but I am too lost in my own mind that I can't respond to it.

I should have listened to what she said when we were sitting under that old tree. She said something about 'never lying' but at that moment, all I could think about was that she was really a _she_ and how Puck was in love with her. He saw her naked and he kissed her…Even thinking about it now makes me mad. I am so glad that those two things never happened at the same time…Santana naked with Puck…gross….He might have seen her body naked but I have seen her naked…if that makes any sense? Also I saw her boobs- sort of. I stared at her to see if she had any and I am pretty sure that she does.

Somehow, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop trying to imagine Santana naked. I close my eyes really hard but the picture I have drawn in my mind keeps showing up. It probably looks nothing like the real her but it is still oh so mesmerizing.

"Brittany!" Someone says again and this time it snaps me out of my mind. It's only Artie and he is sitting in his wheelchair with the script on his lap, looking at me through his glasses, dressed in a purple wig. I purse my lips tightly together to stop myself from laughing. "Get over it!" He then lets out and I start laughing.

"I agree," Sugar chimes in and I turn to look at her. She doesn't meet my eyes because she is too busy blowing on her fingernails. "It was funny the first three times but now it's getting old."

Artie raises his eyebrows at me and I chuckle on last time before I let out a big breath.

"Should we start over?" Joe asks with his face pressed against his script.

"Why can't I just switch character with Hugo –I mean, Santana? She's not even here?" Artie looks at us with a small frown as he removes the wig and scratches his scalp. "This thing is itchy!" He then lets out before he tosses the wig to the floor next to him.

"Because…" I start but then I stop because I can't think of a good argument.

"What?" Artie asks and I look down at the script in my hand. It's on the scene where Lysander and Hermia elope into the woods because they love each other and can't be apart. I remember when we got this script. I was originally going to play Helena but when Santana let it slip that Lysander would kiss Hermia I knew I had to be her. I don't know why, really. I just knew that I had to.

"You can't take her part because she is coming back soon." I tell him and everyone in my group stop whatever they are doing and turn to look at me. "Blaine told me…It's true."

"Santana is gonna go to this school again?" Joe looks at me with hopeful eyes and when I nod he claps his hands together: "Awesome! Will she play soccer?" I shrug my shoulders at him because how am I supposed to know that?

"Well, Santana is a girl, so…" Artie says before he picks up the wig from the floor. "That way, no one has to wear a wig."

"I – I don't… sure. Whatever." I shrug it off. It doesn't really matter.

It makes Artie happy and he immediately rolls away to a silent corner to learn his new lines. The rest of us don't do anything because who even cares about this show anymore?

* * *

When the bell rings a couple of minutes later I hurriedly gather my stuff and head towards Santana's old dorm to find Puck. I knock on the door three times before it flings open and Puck looks at me with a confused expression. His phone is placed against his ear and he mumbles something into it before he hangs up and opens the door wider so that I can enter.

"And what brings you here? I always had the feeling you disliked me…"He says as he leans against the desk and motions for me to sit down on his bed.

"I do." I say with a smile and he chuckles. "And I want to talk to you about Santana." The subject seems to make him a bit uncomfortable because he starts looking down at his feet and even crosses his arms.

"What about her?" He wonders and I sigh a little before I sit down on the edge of his bed.

"Do you know why she did it…the whole dress-out thing?"

"Shouldn't you be asking her this?" He asks with an annoyed tone.

"I suppose…but she isn't returning my calls…" I say and he gives me a sad smile.

"She probably doesn't know what to tell you or she might think that you are calling to yell at her or something."

"Why would I yell at her?"

"I don't know…PMS or something." He shrugs his shoulders as I shake my head at him. "Do you miss her?" He asks me suddenly and I open my mouth to answer him but he interrupts me before I get a chance to. "Because I do - but I never had a chance with her…She changed me."

"What do you mean?" I ask him and he shakes his head a little before he walks over to her old bed and sits down.

"I never cared about anyone but myself before…I mean, I cared about Quinn, a lot…But I have never met someone who would change a trait of mine. I said I was gay to protect her secret…I mean, what? Who even does that? People are still calling me a fag sometimes…on the team. If that would have happened before I met her I would have beaten the crap out of them but now I just…I just feel sorry for those who actually are gay and have to live with that. The ignorance, I mean." He keeps talking but I kind of zooned out. Why is he telling me this?

"…Did she do that for you too?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I look at him with a quizzical expression so he sighs and repeats what he just said:

"Did she change you?"

"No…" I say because I don't believe she did. "But I only knew her a couple of weeks. Where are you going with this?"

"Nowhere…just that I miss her. We used to talk every night and she told me pretty much everything about her life back home so I am trying to imagine what she is doing right now… I miss her…as a friend."

"You knew her better than I did…" I realize and he shakes his head at me.

"No, I only knew the facts; she never opened up, emotionally, with me." He tells me this with a sad smile. If I wasn't sure whether he liked her or not earlier I am now. It makes me a bit worried because imagine if she is coming back for him and not me.

"I know nothing…I wish I could just get over it." I let out and place my face in my hands.

"Get over what?" He wonders and I turn my head in my hands to look at him. "Ah, me too, Brittany." He then adds as if my expression just spoke volumes.

"Do you think thinking about her is making us delusional?" Puck asks me after a moment of silence. I shrug my shoulders because of two reasons. First of all: I don't know the meaning of delusional and second: If I open my mouth I might just scream 'Santana, come back!' and that would be weird.

"Just think about it…She is constantly on our minds and I bet I'm not the only one making up stories about her," I nod my head with a small smile. I hope he isn't picturing her naked though…except if he does he sees the real thing. Now that's not frustrating at all. "And what if we are just convincing ourselves to like her?"

"I tried to convince myself to like spinach once and that didn't work."

"No, you are probably right. But what are you going to do? We both know that she likes you." Puck sighs as he stands up and walks over to the window.

"Don't be so sure of that. Like I said, she hasn't even returned my calls." I let out and bite my lip.

"She probably just missed them." He tries to make me feel better but it doesn't work.

"I called like a billion times so there's no chance she missed them…more like…ignored them."

Puck turns around and walks over to the desk again. He picks up his phone that vibrated a moment ago and then he turns to look at me.

"What?" I wonder as his mouth forms into a giant grin.

"She is coming back! She just texted me…Ah, that is…so great." He smiles and then he hands me his phone and I tap the screen to see the message.

'_Good news! The witch is letting me go! Finally! All the calls has been made and the papers have been signed I am returning!_

I smile as I read the text but the smile fades when his phone vibrates again and he snatches it from me. His expression morphs into a mix between a sad and a surprised one and my heart starts beating faster because what if she changed her mind? Puck mumbles something to himself and then he throws the phone down on bed next to me. I pick it up.

'_Urghhhhhhhhhhh I have some bad news as well….Hugo is coming too so make room in your dorm he is bunking with you!'_

"Hugo is coming here?" I ask Puck and he nods. "Why?"

"How am I supposed to know?" He says and then he relaxes a little and smiles. "At least I won't have to learn a new name, of a roommate; I mean…I suck at learning names."

* * *

I give him a small smile and then I tell him goodbye and leave. When I have closed the door something vibrates in my pocket so I fish my phone up and I look at the screen. I almost drop it to the ground when I realize that I have one new message. I cover my mouth not to squeal but my happiness is short lived. The message is from my mom…She's just wondering where I am.

I type a short reply and then I start walking. Not home…just walking.

* * *

The next day I am woken up by someone knocking on the door to my room. At first I believe that it is just Lord Tubbington who wants to come in, but when someone behind the door starts to speak I realize that it's probably not my cat.

"What?" I mumble as I roll over to the other side of my bed and cover my head with one of the pillows. "What?!" I then yell because I can't hear the answer. Someone knocks on the door again so I sit up and throw the pillow across the room. "WHAT?" I scream and the door opens. My mother's face shows up between the half open door and the doorframe.

"Why are you still here?" She asks me as she steps inside of my room and looks at me surprised. "Are you sick?" She then adds before she walks over to one of the windows and pulls away the curtains before she opens the blinds so that my whole room fills whit light. I shut my eyes and fling my legs over the edge of my bed so that my feet are touching the ground.

"No…I'm fine." I say even though I have a bit of a headache. My mother then walks over to me and touches my forehead.

"Well at least you don't have a fever." She says before she looks at my alarm-clock and picks it up. "Did it stop working?"

"No…you can hear it tick." I answer her as I stand up and scratch my neck. "I must've forgotten to set it…sorry."

"It's almost noon, you should hurry to school or else you'll miss practice." My mother says as she puts the clock down on my side table again. Noon? Already? When did I get home? I remember it being quite late because I stopped by at Quinn's... I barely remember getting home…How can I be at home? I stretch my arms above my head as a silent yawn leaves my mouth. "Is- is that alcohol I smell?" My mom looks at me with wide eyes. "Have you been drinking?"

Suddenly I do remember how I got home last night…I walked. Which isn't weird considering how near my house is to the school…but I am pretty sure I walked home backwards…Why? Oh, yeah…I walked backwards home because I wanted to have my eyes in the direction of the school in case Santana would show up.

"Um, drinking on a school night? Of course not." I let out and offer my mom a small smile. She doesn't buy it but instead of getting mad she just gives me 'the look'. It's enough to scare me to school.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Quinn shouts at me across the field as I come running towards her. The whole cheerleading squad turns to look at me as well as half of the soccer-team. "I've been so worried!" She then adds when I am close enough for her to speak in her normal tone. I let her hug me for a moment but then I step out of it and look at her.

"When did I get home last night?" I ask her and she bites her lip almost as if she is feeling guilty for something.

"You don't remember?" She asks me and I shake my head at her.

"No! Remember what?" She grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me away from the other girls.

"You left my home this morning…" Quinn says quietly before she tightens her ponytail and gives me a small smile. "Around five…" My eyes widen a bit and she nods at me as if to say: 'Tell me about it.'

"I only remember playing that drinking game…" I say as I shake my head in an attempt to clear it.

"You mean the drink-every-time-you-think-about-Santana-game that you made up?" Quinn chuckles at me and I nod. "Yeah, I kind blacked out around that time too but I remember when you left because you took the vodka bottle with you."

"I did not…" I chuckle and hit her because I am pretty sure I would never just drink pure vodka out of a bottle…that is so not me.

"You did! It wasn't much left in it but you filled it up with orange juice."

"Gross!" I scrunch my nose in disgust and Quinn nods.

"You would know…" She then giggles before she turns her attention back to the squad.

"Let's run some laps to buuuurn some calories!" Quinn shouts and everybody moans in frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you guys to be cheery? We are _cheerleaders!"_ She shouts and everybody but me puts on a fake smile and starts running. "Come on, wino!" Quinn then adds and points at me.

* * *

I do as I am told and start running. If you have ever been out running with a belly filled of disgusting vodka and orange juice and a head that is pounding to the beat of your heart, you will understand that the feeling isn't pleasant.

The feeling of nausea quickly attacks me and it makes me shiver. I keep running but I'm losing speed. I am probably walking but it feels like I am spinning around and eventually I just have to stop. I keep my eyes down on the ground and even though I stand still it feels like the earth moves beneath my feet. My eyes are closed and I swear I can hear Quinn shout something to me but I don't understand what she is saying. Almost as if she is speaking a foreign language. The cheerleading-squad runs past me and I notice by their panting that they run further and further away and then I can't hear them anymore.

I hear something else though –footsteps. And that sound keeps getting louder and louder which means that someone is getting closer. At first I believe that it is Quinn who is coming to check if I'm fine- but when I open my eyes and look up I realize that it's not.

It's a girl…A girl with _long _wavy dark hair, brown eyes, tan skin and plump lips…lips that are smiling at me. I realize that it's not just a girl –it's _the _girl. She takes a couple of steps closer and I stand up straight so that I can look at her properly. She is wearing a pair of perfectly worn-out jeans and a standard white t-shirt. A pair of sunglasses is hanging by the collar of the shirt and reveals some of her _cleavage._

I look up at her eyes and hold her gaze for a moment and then I throw up. My sudden hurl has nothing to do with her, really, because she looks amazing. She is so out of my league.- I guess my body just really wanted to get rid of that disgusting mix I had in my belly.

"I take it my makeover wasn't a success." Santana jokes before I hurl again.

A dark haired guy steps up to her side and points his thumb at me.

"Is that her?" He asks and I can tell by the movement of her shadow that she nods. "Charming." He then says before he walks away.

* * *

**Well?**

**A bit rushed…But I wanted to give you all a chapter. There are two chapters left now and I have a feeling they might be long….you'll also get a prologue if that is something you want.**

**If there is anything else you'd like I am willing to give you that if you ask. I have some scenes that never made the final cut if that is something you'd like I could post a chapter with those?**

**Anything else? A sex-scene may or may not have been written for this story for a very special moment, BUT I am not 100% happy with it. Help?! **

**Anyways…have a good night! **


	14. Chapter 14

**I AM SORRY FOR KEEPING THIS CHAPTER TO MYSLEF FOR SOOOOO LONG. It's not acceptable.**

* * *

Last chapter ending:

It's a girl…A girl with wavy dark hair, brown eyes, tan skin and plump lips…lips that are smiling. I realize that it's not just a girl –it's _the _girl. She takes a couple of steps closer and I stand up straight so that I can look at her properly. She is wearing a pair of perfectly worn-out jeans and a standard white t-shirt. A pair of sunglasses is hanging by the collar of the shirt and reveals some of her _cleavage. _I look at her and throw up. My sudden hurl has nothing to do with her, really, because she looks amazing. Santana is so out of my league.

"I take it my makeover wasn't a success." Santana jokes and I hurl again.

* * *

***Back to Santana's POV* CHAPTER 14**

"Are you okay?" I ask her although I have a feeling that I already know the answer. "Brittany?"

"No, my head hurts…" She lets out together with a deep breath. Thank god that her hair is in a ponytail or else it would have been a thousand times as messy. "I'm sick." She then adds and stands up straight. She throws a glance down in the grass and scrunches her nose.

"I can see that," I answer her with a sad smile and then I take a step closer to her. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No, no, no –I can just ask Quinn-"Brittany starts but I interrupt her by holding out my hand for her to take it. She hesitates a bit before she grabs a hold of it.

"Come on." I tell her and then we start walking towards the parking lot where Hugo and I parked our car. Ugh I hate saying that. _Our_ car…but I suppose it's better than no car at all.

I open the door for her like a proper gentleman and then I hurry to get in behind the wheel. This whole 'coming back' thing isn't really going the way I planned it but at least she's talking to me…that's good, right?

"Um…we aren't moving, are we?" Brittany lets out after a moment of silence. I shake my head at her as she uses the palm of her hand to pat her forehead. I roll down the window to let in some fresh air for her.

"Not yet." I tell her as I reach into my pocket for a pack of gum. I ask her if she wants one and thankfully she says yes.

"I called you…" Brittany says quietly after removing the paper of the gum and popping it into her mouth.

"I know-"I start but Brittany is quick to stop me.

"You never called me back." Even though I expect her to be mad at me, she isn't. She doesn't sound mad at all- just sad. And it makes me feel horrible.

"There's so much I wanted to tell you and…"

"…And?"

"I didn't know how to start …or what to say." I look down at the car key in my hands and shrug my shoulders. I should have planned a speech or something, it's not like I haven't had the time to do that…

"So instead you said nothing?" She looks at me with a frown and I can't help but sigh.

"I have been dealing with a lot lately and there were things that couldn't wait – Calling you wasn't- it wasn't that-"

"What? Important?" The crease between her brows deepens as she shakes her head at me. If she understood what I have been going through these two weeks, heck, what I have been dealing with all my life, she wouldn't be looking at me like that. She looks at me like I'm some sort of selfish freak who doesn't give a damn about anyone, which isn't really the case at all.

"That's not what I mean-"

"If you really cared about me you would have at least texted me. I know you weren't that busy –you have been talking to both Blaine and Puck!" She spits out as she crosses her arms.

"And I told Blaine to give you a message! Doesn't that prove that I do care?" I hiss and I can't believe how this conversation escalated so quickly.

Brittany doesn't say anything but I guess that is sort of an answer too…It means that she doesn't agree with me.

"Maybe coming back was a mistake…" I mumble after a while and it causes her to shift her attention to me.

"Maybe it was." She says before she shakes her head a little and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry…"

"Whatever." I grab a firm hold of the wheel and lean my head against it before I close my eyes. I am so stressed out, she has got no idea.

* * *

I've been fighting with my mom non-stop and convincing her to send me back here took a lot of willpower. If Brittany knew what I gave up to come here…then maybe she would be a bit more understanding. But telling her is something I can't do - I don't want her to feel guilty or worse…start pitying me.

* * *

My hair falls down over my face and I use one of my hands to remove it, to place it behind my ears like I used to when I was younger.

"You are so different." Brittany says suddenly and I turn my head to the side to look at her.

"I'm exactly the same." I tell her and she slowly shakes her head. "What's the difference?"

"Besides the obvious…" She says motioning for my hair and body, causing me to give her a small smile. "…You look tired and…I don't know."

"Gee thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." I close my eyes again and inhale deeply. I don't want to snap at her. I have no reason to be mad at her because she is right –I look like I haven't slept in days, mostly because I haven't.

"But you look…great." She then lets out and I raise my eyebrows at her. "You do!" She adds and I sit up to look at her again.

"Well, duh." I smile at her and she giggles. "I better because this-"I say while grabbing a fist full of hair. "-took hours to fix."

"Is that what it looked like before you cut it off?" She wonders as I comb my fingers through it.

"Yeah, pretty much..." I say with a small smile. "I so regret cutting it off, you have no idea."

"Why did you?"

"You haven't talked to Puck about it?"

"He told me to ask you…"

"Okay…You know how I love playing soccer, right?" I wonder and she replies by giving me a small nod. "Well, at my old school there was this amazing girls' team that I played in…But our coach couldn't coach us anymore and the school couldn't find a replacement. It sounds super silly now but I couldn't imagine my life without playing so when my mom told me she was sending me here I kind of saw it as an opportunity to play again. My brother was supposed to be here already but he wasn't so I just pretended to be him. Wearing a wig was too risky and pretending to be a boy while sporting this hairstyle would have been impossible…I wanted to tell you the truth several times."

"So…Hugo is the name of your brother?" She asks me and I tell her that she kind of met him earlier, but that she was too busy throwing up to notice him.

"Are you feeling better now, with the headache?" I then ask her and she nods.

"Yeah, I didn't even realize that I got better…" She giggles but then she turns serious again. "You regret cutting your hair off; do you also regret coming here?"

"Nah…I wouldn't have met all these amazing people if I didn't." I answer her sheepishly. "Do they know? Quinn and Rachel, I mean?"

"Yeah, everybody knows."

"Great." I let out sarcastically and Brittany looks at me with a frown.

"Does it bother you that they know?" She asks me and I shrug.

"I –yeah, it does…I wanted to tell them myself." I say with a sigh. "How did Quinn take it?"

"She got very upset and she- why do you ask?"

"Because I care about her, that's why." I answer her like it's the simplest thing in the universe, maybe it is. Brittany shakes her head at me. "Are you- are you jealous?"

"What? No!" She answers me very quickly and it causes me to chuckle.

"You are, you so are." I tell her and she smiles at me while continuing shaking her head.

"What if I am?" She asks me and I shrug.

"What if you are?"

Suddenly her hand is caressing my cheek and before I even have a chance to react she pulls it away. She looks like she's been caught with the hand in the cookie jar and I can't help but smirk.

There are people running around on campus and cars coming and leaving the parking lot but I don't care – I can't even hear them. All my attention is on her and how much I wish she'd touch me again.

"I think I'm gonna be sick again." She mumbles after a while.

"Is it contagious?" I wonder with a and she shakes her head.

"No, hangover isn't really a sickness."

"Wait…you, hangover?" I ask her seriously but then I bust out laughing because she is the last person that I would ever picture drinking on a school night.

"Hey!" She giggles and pushes me away. "You're such a meanie…"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I stammer out as I place my hand on her lap. She looks down on it with a small smile and when I smile back she grins.

"Hey…"She giggles.

"Hello." I answer and when I try to be smooth and take her hand I accidentally honk the horn which causes us both to jump.

"You're right." Brittany tells me with a smile. "You are _exactly _the same."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I wonder.

"You are still clumsy."

"Shut up… and put your seat belt on." I order her before I start backing out of the parking-lot.

"Are you driving me home?" She wonders and I nod. "But I still have so many questions…"

"I can answer them tomorrow," I say and offer her a small smile. "Or the day after tomorrow, or next week…or maybe even next month…I have decided to stick around for a while so there's plenty of time for you to ask me questions."

* * *

When I get back to school, after dropping Brittany off at home, Blaine is waiting for me by the stairs just like he did the first time I came here. I press my duffle-bag closer to my side before I start jogging towards him. He doesn't see me at first but when he does his whole face lights up.

"Hey!" He shouts and starts walking towards me.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" I let out before I throw my arms around him.

"You texted me yesterday saying you'd come here today and I'm still your go-see-buddy so I figured it was the right thing to do…Plus I wanted to see this girl version of you." Blaine answers me with a smile before he let's go off me and starts walking towards the entrance. "Guess who you are bunking with?"

"I've got no idea…" I tell him before I open the door for us. "Which poor girl will be standing in the way of my rage?" I then add with a chuckle.

"Um…I think you are the 'poor girl' in this situation." He says before pointing me in the direction of my new dorm.

"You are not walking me all the way?" I ask him and he discreetly fixes the bowtie that he is wearing before answering.

"There's no need to…you already know where it is." Blaine says before turning around and sprinting up the stairs, which leads to the cafeteria. No way, I think to myself as I slowly start walking down the long and empty corridor. This can't be happening. Someone must really hate me for making me do this.

* * *

I reach Quinn's dorm only minutes later and before I open the door I stop to take a couple of deep breaths. Slowly I open the door and step inside. The dorm is empty so I exhale loudly and close the door behind me.

It is easy to tell that this dorm belongs to a girl. The walls are almost covered in, what I suspect to be, family-pictures and photographs of friends. Right above her bed is also a photograph of the cheerleading- squad with Quinn standing in the center with her pompoms stretched out above her head.

There are some clothes on the floor but the room is still nowhere as dirty as Puck's room used to be…and probably is now that I'm not there to keep it clean. Hugo is just as filthy as Puck and I doubt that their room will ever be clean again.

I put my duffle-bag down on the floor in front of the free bed, my bed, I guess, and then I make my way over to the bathroom to have a peak in there. It's clean and it smells good and that's all I really wanted to know. I make my way back to my bed just as the door flings open and Quinn, unknown to my presence, walks in. She throws her cheerio-bag on her bed and then she removes her ponytail so that her hair falls down. I fake a cough to get her attention and I swear she jumps like she just heard a gunshot or something.

"What the…" She looks at me with a quizzical expression and then her eyes wander to the floor, to my bag, and then back at me. Quinn shakes her head slowly as if she can't believe this is happening. I just can't believe no one told her that she was finally getting a roommate. "What are you doing in my room?!"

"Um…You mean _our _room…" I correct her and she scoffs at me. "Trust me; I want this about as much as you."

"Then leave." She suggests and opens the door for me. I shake my head at her with a chuckle.

She closes the door again with a thud and then she scurries off into the bathroom. After a while, when it's clear to me that she's not planning to come out any time soon, I lie down on my new bed and close my eyes. I want to find Rachel too…But I suppose it can wait until tomorrow…She has probably gone home already anyway.

* * *

I doze off for a couple of minutes and when I wake up it is because water from Quinn's hair is dripping down on my face as she is practically leaning over me. I sit up and use my hand to dry my face.

"What is your problem?" I ask her and Quinn sighs before she goes back to her bed and sits down.

"I just wanted to see how different you are…which is very different." She shakes her head at me and starts fiddling with the wet towel that is lying at the foot of her bed.

"I was gonna tell you-"I start but she interrupts me with a sigh.

"It's cool, Santana, Puck told me everything." She says while combing her fingers through her wet hair. "And I'm sorry for being so needy... I know you tried to get me to back off." I answer by giving her a small smile because I have no idea how to respond to that. 'Yes, you acted very needy' or 'No, I liked it…' Like seriously, what do you say?

"Is Brittany feeling better or?" She asks me after a while of extremely awkward silence.

"Yes she's fine…but can you believe she was hangover?" I chuckle and Quinn offers me a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that…" Quinn says and when I look at her with a small frown she opens the drawer on her nightstand and pulls out an empty bottle of wine.

"Oh." I let out before Quinn puts it back in the drawer.

"It kind of got out of hand…" She tells me and I nod.

I don't expect her to explain – I don't even know if I want to know, so I keep quiet about it.

"I'm not a lesbian," Quinn suddenly bursts out. "By the way…"

I give her a confused expression before I bite my lip and nod.

"Okay." I give her a small smile as she lets out a small breath. "Good to know."

Quinn chuckles a bit before she gets up from her bed and walks over to the big mirror next to her drawer. She looks at her own reflection for a while but then her eyes lock with mine. Her stare is pretty intense and it leaves me feeling a bit uneasy so I have to look away. Her eyes are still on me as I lean forward to take of my shoes – just to look busy. I turn away from her and look out the window instead and after a short moment I can hear how she starts to move and then, shortly after that, I hear how she turns on the hairdryer. I usually let my hair dry by itself…I'm just too lazy to bother with it. But I'm not surprised that Quinn does it, she's such a girly girl.

I throw a quick glance over my shoulder before I lay down on my bed again. Quinn's not staring at me anymore…Maybe because her eyes are covered by her blonde hair or because it made her feel uneasy too.

"Do you hate me?" She suddenly mumbles and I can barely hear her over the noise that the hairdryer is making.

"No…" I answer with a small frown. "Why?" I then add because I want to know what she's thinking.

Quinn sighs a little before she pulls out the chord to the hairdryer and places it on the floor. She combs her fingers through her hair before she sits down at the edge of her bed.

"I just figured you did." She mutters as she shrugs her shoulders. The white tank-top that she's wearing has gotten a bit see-through due to her wet hair and I fight the urge to let my eyes fall down to her chest. I don't want this whole 'roommate' thing to be weirder than it already is. I do sneak a peek, though.

"Why would you think I hate you?" I let out a bit surprised and she shakes her head as if to say 'It's stupid'. But I really want to know. I had no idea that I was giving away an 'I hate you'- vibe.

"You always ignore me-"She starts and I scoff at her so she stops talking. "-You do, though!" She then says.

"Name one time -"I start but I don't get to finish speaking before she starts rambling on about stuff that never even occurred to me.

"I invited you to come watch me at cheerleading practice and sure you came but did you watch me? No! Not even for one second. You were too busy chatting with those friends of yours and Rachel… and Brittany. And I wanted you to come to my party but you ditched me."

"I didn't ditch you-"

"You didn't come…you could have sneaked out or something. And then I felt bad that you couldn't come so I went to cheer you up but oh, surprise, you already had company."

"Quinn-"

"No, listen. Despite all this I started liking you and then I found out you're a girl!? I felt so humiliated and confused and mad because you never told me."

She places her face in her hands sighs. I bite the inside of my cheek because there's so much to take in and there's too much to say – I don't even know where to start. We sit quiet for a moment but then I realize that if I'm gonna say something, I better say it now.

"I never intentionally ignored you…I just. I guess I thought it was better to stay away rather than getting close to you – because I'm a girl and I couldn't tell you. I'm sorry."

Quinn shrugs her shoulders and then she offers me a small smile. I think her walls came down for a moment but now they are up again, stronger than ever.

* * *

We don't say anything after that…Quinn goes back to fixing her hair while I turn to lie on my side, facing the window. If I close my eyes I'd fall asleep but sadly it's still a bit too early for that. Time does, however, fly by and after a couple of hours a loud noise erupts from the speakers to signal that the doors to the school will lock within 10 minutes. It works like a warning for students who are hanging out on campus; so that they head to their dorms in time and don't end up being stuck outside.

* * *

I curl into a little ball and just as I'm about to drift off into sleep my cellphone vibrates in my hand. I bring it in under the cover before I press the 'home' button so that the screen lights up.

'_Meet me in the parking lot' _It's a text from Brittany. My lips immediately form into a huge smile but then I remember the lock down and my smile fades away.

'_Please' _my phone vibrates again and I squeeze it tight in my hand as I try to think of a way to get out. I gently kick the cover of my body and reach for my bag. I open it slowly and hope that the sound of the zipper won't wake up Quinn. I wince a little when the sound gets too loud but then I continue open it. I pull out the first item of clothing that I get a hold off and thankfully it's my overly used hoodie. I sneak my arms into the sleeves before I effortlessly pull it over my head. I leave the pink pajamas-pants that I'm wearing on since I'm too lazy to find a pair of pants. When I'm fully dressed I put on my shoes, tighten my ponytail a little and grab a hold of my phone. I put my hand beside the screen to divert the light from Quinn's direction as I tap on the screen.

There are no new messages so I simply put it in the belly pocket of my hoodie. I stop to think for a moment before I place both of my pillows under the cover…in case Quinn wakes up, so she'll think I'm still there. That's something I haven't done in years.

* * *

Last time I did it was when I was twelve and attempted to run away from home… In the end I felt too guilty so after sneaking out in the garden I grabbed my bag, which I had filled with sandwiches, and went straight back to my room.

* * *

After some attempts I finally manage to make the pillows look like a body….

I smile a little at my previously unknown talent before I start to tip toe towards the door. My hand barely touches the handle before Quinn mutters something which causes me to stop.

"Use the window." She repeats a bit louder in case I didn't hear her the first time.

"What?" I look at her a bit quizzically.

"Use the w-"She starts again. Her eyes remain closed and it's scary because it looks like she's sleeping.

"I heard you…" I interrupt her and her eyes blink open. She frowns at me a little but then her eyes fix on my pants and her lips form into a discreet smile.

"You are going out dressed like that?" She giggles and I sheepishly nod my head. "Cute." She smiles. "But what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know yet…" I answer her as I walk over to the window. It takes me a couple of seconds to figure out how to open it. "Brittany just sent me a message telling me to meet her." I then fill in because I'm sure she'd find it out somehow even if I don't tell her.

"Oh," She lets out as she turns around in bed so that she's facing me again. "11.30? What's the occasion?

"I don't know." I answer before I manage to push the window open. Luckily our dorm is on the first floor which means that the risk of me breaking my legs when I jump is pretty small. I fling one of my legs over the ledge as I turn to give Quinn a small smile. "Have you done this before?"

"Yes," She answers with a low giggle. "Once, last year – I snuck out to go to a party."

"And how did you get back up?" I ask as I lean out of the window to measure the distance to the ground. It can't be more than two meters.

"I didn't."

"Oh, well…I guess I'll….climb." I mumble as I fling the other leg over as well.

"Wait!" Quinn blurts out just as I'm about to turn around so that I can lower myself down. "Have fun," then says as she sits up. "I know you like her and she actually likes you back so don't blow it."

"I wasn't planning to." I answer her with a toothy grin. "I'm just glad she's not bothered by the 'I'm actually a girl' part."

"No, but why would she be? She has dated girls before."

"What?" I look at her in disbelief but she's not kidding. "She should have told me."

"Yeah, because you always tell people everything about yourself." Quinn raises one of her eyebrows and it causes me to chuckle.

"No, I guess not." I bite my lip before I give her a small smile and start to lower myself towards the ground. My feet don't reach the ground, not even when my body is fully stretched. I hang on to the ledge using my fingers and when I let go I drop to the ground with a thud.

"I'm ok!" I hiss loudly enough for Quinn to hear. When I stand up I realize that I'm covered in mud. My pants aren't pink anymore…but brown.

"Oops!" Quinn chuckles from above my head so I look up. "I forgot to tell you that there's a giant gap in the drainpipe right above this window so the ground is almost always muddy.

"Oops?" I ask with a glare as I try to remove some mud that splashed onto my face but I end up smudging it and making it even worse. "You are dead when I get back." I tell her and she laughs at me as she closes the window. I remove the worst stains from my pants with my hands and then I dry them off on the wall. I'm glad I didn't land on my butt instead of my knees. At least now I don't walk around looking like I have taken a shit in my pants.

* * *

I use my phone as a flashlight when I start walking towards the parking lot. It doesn't take me too long to spot Brittany because she's using the screen on her phone as a flashlight too and it kind of lights up this entire place.

"Hi!" She shouts when I make my way closer towards her. I use my phone to wave back at her. "I was starting to doubt that you'd - …Oh my God what have you done?" She looks at me with wide eyes and I can't help but curse Quinn, just a little bit.

"I jumped from the window and I landed in this huge pool of mud." I answer as her shocked face starts to morph into a timid smile.

"Are you hurt?" She wonders as she takes a step back and lights on me with her phone.

"No," I answer her with a small chuckle. "But what in the world are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk." Brittany replies. And I am just about to ask her why it couldn't wait until the morning when she opens the door to her car and orders me to get inside.

"You'll get mud on your seats…" I tell her but she just rolls her eyes and tells me to listen to her.

As I get in she skips around the car and opens the door to the driver's seat. The whole car lights up as she turns the key and when she looks at me she's forced to purse her lips together to prevent herself from laughing.

"It can't be that bad-"I say as I turn to look in the mirror. "Holy shit it's everywhere. I look like a Dalmatian." I exclaim and she starts laughing at me. I can't help but laugh along and after a while she twists her body so that she can reach into the backseat. When she comes back she's holding a knitted shirt.

"Here, clean yourself." She giggles and I hesitate a little before I grab it. "Don't worry, I hate that shirt."

That's all that needed to be said so I start making my face mud-free. When the shirt is basically pressed against my nose I inhale deeply and then I blush because I'm sure Brittany can hear me. She doesn't say anything so I gradually go back to my natural color.

"You, um, you wanted to talk?" I stammer out after a short moment of silence as I washed my face and she watched me.

"Yeah," She nods her head but then she grabs a hold of the wheel. "But not here." The engine starts with a roar and then Brittany starts driving.

By this point I have no idea where we are headed because we already drove past Brittany's house and the only café that's open during the night.

"I hope you don't plan to abandon me in a forest or something." I mumble after a while.

"What?" Brittany asks me a bit confused. I can tell that she's smiling even though she's not looking at me. It's good I guess. I rather she keeps looking on the road. Just because she can't look at me doesn't mean I can't look at her. I do. And I know that it's making her nervous because her cheeks are really pink.

"We are going to a park… It's right over there actually." Brittany lets out as she nods her head to the right and sure enough there's a park there. It's actually a playground…with swings, seesaws and everything else. The car comes to a stop and Brittany gets out of the car. I mimic her and then I follow her to the swings.

"I used to come here daily as a kid," She starts and I'm already smiling cause I love listening to her talk. I start swinging a little from side to side because I don't believe it's possible to sit still on a swing. "My dad used to make me take my sister here when he wanted to relax. But I loved going here so it was ok." She tells me and I reply her with a small smile and then I accidentally bump into her so I apologize and dig my feet into the ground so that I stop.

"That's not why you brought me here, is it? You wanted to talk to me and I'm aching to know what you want to tell me." I say and she takes a deep breath before she straddles the swing so that she's facing me.

"I still don't understand why you didn't call or text me…I'm not trying to be needy or anything but you say that you care, that you like me, and then you-"

"Brittany," I interrupt her and it causes her to stop. "These two weeks has been two of the most horrible weeks of my life. Everything has been a mess. Mostly due to my mom, but also because I was forced to go back home; even though I wanted to stay here with you, with the team and with everyone else." I blurt out a bit too quickly so I stop to take a deep breath, to collect my thoughts on what to say.

"My mom's not very happy with me… but I knew, that there's a place in her heart where she really loves me and I worked really hard to access that part. I wanted to convince her to send me back…and she would only agree if she really, really loved me. It took a lot of convincing until she agreed. A part of me believes that she only let me go back because she was getting tired of my whining."

"I'm sorry-"

"The real reason I didn't call or text you was that I wasn't sure I was coming back and I couldn't handle talking to you and knowing that, I just couldn't."

"Okay," Brittany let's out with a sad smile. "I understand."

"So you believe me?"

"Yes."

"Plus I kind of think that you are better off without me and-"

"I'm not." She interrupts me with an even brighter smile so I give her a small nod. "So you believe _me?"_

"Yes."

* * *

The whole city has gone pitch-black. Even the nearby houses are dark. Most people have gone to bed but not us. We are wide awake. And to me it feels like we are the only two people in the entire world. I would have a hard time seeing her if it wasn't for the fact that the playground was lit up by a couple of street-lamps. I look up at one of them and realize that it's drizzling. The light from the lamps are shining over a small pond and each water drop creates a new circle on the surface. It's peaceful; ironically, it's the exact way I feel inside. The peacefulness doesn't last very long because the drizzle soon turns heavy and the rain pours down from the sky.

I look over at Brittany who's also charmed by the small pond. I know she is looking at it because the light from the streetlamp is reflected in her eyes.

"It's raining…"She says quietly after a moment and I automatically look over to the pond as if I didn't already know it.

"I've noticed." I reply and smile when she turns to look at me.

"Like a lot."

I look down at her clothes and they are soaked, I guess mine are too.

"We can go if you want to." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"No, stay…I don't mind the rain."

I don't answer her; instead I just stand up and walk over to the pond. It's barely visible but it's filled with coins together with hundreds of peoples wishes. I know what I'd wish for if I had a coin: Her.

"I threw a coin in there once," Brittany says as she comes to stand beside me. "It didn't come true. I didn't get it."

"What did you wish for?"

"A bracelet made of macaroni." She lets out with a small giggle and I can't help but reach over to take her hand. It causes her to turn and look at me. "I can barely keep my eyes open it's raining so hard." She then says.

"Close them?" I say before I lick my lips and nod at her to listen.

"Close what?" Brittany wonders and looks around a little.

"Your eyes – close your eyes." I tell her and she bites her lip a little before she listens. I take a step closer towards her and gently move the hand that was clasping hers, to her lower back instead. I use it to press her a bit closer. I use my other hand to remove a couple of strands of hair from her face as I slowly lean in.

I want to savor the moment so when my lips are brushing against hers I pull away to kiss her cheek instead. It causes her to open her eyes. I move over to her other cheek and kiss it too. It causes her to smile so I keep placing soft kisses all over her face. First her nose, then her forehead – then I kiss my way down to the corner of her mouth and hold my lips still there for a moment. Both of her hands find their way to my back and when one of them starts making their way up my neck I pull away I little.

"What?" Brittany whispers. "Santana, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." I tell her as I rest my forehead against hers. I came back. I actually came back.

I try to gather as much courage as I can before I lean in towards her again. There's still a small gap between us when I stop moving and let Brittany fill it. Her lips press against mine ever so softly. I part mine a little as I move both of my hands to her cheeks and it causes her to smile. She lets out a small groan as she throws her arms around my neck. I slowly move my hands down to her waist because she kind of squished them with her arms. When I feel the tip of her tongue graze my lower lip I'm done for. It's almost as if I lose all my control.

The rain continues to pour down, not in a sweet and romantic kind of way, no, but in a 'this is the end of the world' – kind of way. I don't care one bit, though. This might as well be the end of the world; I'd die happy.

* * *

As we kiss I feel how Brittany starts to smile and soon it becomes very hard to kiss her because she's smiling so much. When I pull away from her she's chuckling and I pray to god that she's not laughing at my kissing technique.

"My face is numb." She giggles as she removes one of her arms from around me and uses her hand to feel her own face. I look at her with the teeniest frown. It causes Brittany to stop feeling her own face and moves her hand to mine. She starts to caress my face like she did in the car but this time I can't feel it. I mean, I can feel it, but not as much. I guess the rain is numbing us.

"I can barely feel that!" I laugh and she smiles before she connects our lips again. This time it's not as innocent. It's much more heated. Her hands move up to my hair and I moan because of the sensation. I stop kissing her lips due to lack of oxygen and starts attacking her neck and jawline instead. She uses both of her hands to press me impossibly closer to her.

"Oh my…" She lets out a bit breathlessly as I start kissing and nibbling on the skin all the way from her ear to right between her breasts. "The," She starts saying but is forced to stop when I start kissing her again. I pull away for a second to let her talk. "The – car, come on." She lets out in between kisses and starts to push me towards it.

I walk backwards and try to concentrate on not slipping on the ground but it's difficult as she start to take of my hood, and I end up focusing on that. I don't realize we have reached the car until I'm pressed up against it. I lift my arms up and she stops kissing me for the time it takes for her to pull the shirt over my head. I reach for the door and when I get a grip of the handle I pull it open and turn so that she's facing it. I kiss her hungrily as I help her sit down in the back seat and I remain standing outside in the rain. Brittany grabs a fistful of my tank top and then she starts attacking my stomach with sloppy kisses and I let her.

"Are you cold?" Brittany asks me suddenly and I shake my head from side to side a couple of times. I'm anything but cold. She chuckles a little as she places her hands just beneath my butt and pulls me inside of the car. I straddle her legs as I lean in to kiss her. She lets her hands roam around on my back and the feeling causes me to shiver. Our breaths are hitched as we lay flat against one another. We stop attacking each other with kisses and for a moment we just look at one another.

"Are we going a bit too fast?" Brittany asks me as she pulls her hands away from my back and places them in my hair instead to keep it away from my face.

"I'm a virgin." I blurt out and she stops moving her fingers around in my hair. She lays still for a moment before she pops herself up on her elbows – forcing me to sit up too.

"So we should stop?" She asks me while flattening out my tank top.

"No," I answer a bit too quickly before I slowly shake my head. "I don't even know why I brought it up."

"Maybe you aren't ready yet?"

"I am, though." I give her a small smile. "And I know I want to be with you." This causes her to lean in a hug me very tightly. "But not in the backseat of this car." I then add and it causes her to giggle.

"But you are staying, right?" She asks me sweetly and I nod. "Good, so we have plenty of time."

"We can still make out." I suggest and she smiles before she lies down again and pulls me with her.

* * *

**Okay, anybody there? Do I still have readers? I never ask for reviews but please REVIEW I need to know if people still want this.**

**Next time will feature Rachel Berry, Hugo, Santana/ Brittany love making, Quinn's true feelings and Santana/ soccer. **


	15. Chapter 15

**I am so happy that you are all still here! I thought I'd lost you****I actually missed you and seeing the usernames that I recognized made me go : "Aaaaaaw! No matter what the comments said. And new readers: Welcome!**

**Remember when I told you guys that this fic would end at chapter 15? Hahahahahahahahahahahahah it won't. I realized now how many loose threads there are and I know that I rushed things…But I plan to make up for that. This story will end when it's time.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Upon reaching the window to my dorm I realize two things: First, there's no way I can _climb_ all the way up there since there's nothing but a brick wall to hold on to. And second, even if I somehow did make it up to the ledge, I couldn't come in since Quinn closed the window when I left.

I absentmindedly scratch my scalp a little and cringe when I realize that parts of my hair are still covered with mud, even though I was pretty sure that the rain had watched it away. I look over to my side where Brittany is standing, she insisted on walking me back. I look at her with a small smile. Two straight lines of smudgy mascara have made their way from the corner of her eyes and down to her chin. If I didn't know better I'd think she had been crying.

There are yet four hours until the doors opens at 5:00 am which means that I don't have any other options than to get in through the window. And this is quite impossible.

"So," I let out and clasp my hands together. "I must go…and I'm sure your parents are getting worried."

"Yeah…" Brittany answers before she takes a step forwards and places a soft peck on my cheek. "Are you sure that you are fine?" Brittany then adds as she points to the window.

"Yes, of – of course." I answer her with a smile as I cross my arms over my chest and nods towards the window. "It's not that high."

Brittany shrugs her shoulders at me before she offers me a small wave and starts walking back to her car. When she's out of sight I try to jump a couple of times, to see if I can reach the ledge and pull myself up…but it's useless.

* * *

After a couple of minutes I hear how Brittany starts the car and drives away so I drop my act of playing it cool. I walk over to the window and position myself just beneath it before I hold my hands to my mouth and starts calling for the blonde girl who's inside sleeping.

"Quinn!" I hiss in a voice as loud as I dare. "Q!" No answer.

Before settling on sleeping on the ground I decide to give it one more try. I collect a couple of small rocks from the ground and starts tossing them against the window. It takes about eight rocks before anything happens. The first thing I see is Quinn's blonde hair moving around in the room and then I see her face as she almost presses it against the glass. Her face looks like a mix between tired and pissed off – I guess she's both. I lift both of my hands to my sides as I raise my eyebrows.

'What?' She mounts and I roll my eyes at her before I start demonstrating with my entire body that I want to come inside. Although I'm pretty sure she's just messing with me I still get a bit annoyed. I want to get inside, take a shower and sleep. My head is just about to explode in annoyance when she finally opens the window.

"…Took you long enough!" I hiss at her and when she gives me a confused expression: "Never mind."

"Why are you back?" Quinn wonders which causes me to frown at her.

"I need sleep." I utter before I take a step forward and reach up my hand for her. "Pull me up."

"Like I'm strong enough for that?" Quinn chuckles before she disappears into the room. "I thought you were staying out." She then adds when she returns.

"Well, I'm here now – can you help me get inside?" I beg right as she lets a rope ladder fall from the window ledge and to the ground. "I'm not even gonna ask you why you have got that."

"It's safe to climb now – I attached the other edge to your bed." Quinn whispers as she jerks the ladder a little.

When I'm safe inside I head straight for the shower and when I get back I head straight for my bed. I don't even have time to thank Quinn for helping me sneak out, before I fall asleep.

* * *

"Puckerman's an ass!" Hugo says as he grabs a hold of my arm in the middle of the corridor, forcing me to stop.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I pinch the hand that's holding on to my elbow.

"Ouch!" Hugo cries out as he starts rubbing on the spot I just pinched. "What was that for?!"

"Um…That was for being a total jerk." I spit out at him as I turn on my heel and starts walking in the opposite direction. I'd do anything to get away from him.

"What did I do?" Hugo says in an annoyed tone as he follows me to the end of the hallway, until we are both standing in front of the ladies room. "Are you mad because I called Puck an ass?"

"What?" I frown at him and then I shake my head as I replay our short conversation. "No, I agree... he is."

"Then why are you being such a bitch?"

I don't feel like talking so I just wave it off and escape into the bathroom.

* * *

The bathroom stinks of perfume and it's not very pleasant at all in there. There are four bathroom stalls and as far as I can tell they are all occupied. Probably by cheerio's reapplying their make-up for the fifth time this day. I stay in there long enough to be sure that Hugo has given up and left and not long enough for the cheerios to finish whatever they are doing.

It's still an early morning – It's only a few minutes past 9.00 and my meeting with the principal is just about to start. He needs to give me a new schedule and everything. For one moment I actually wonder if Hugo has met him, but then I find myself not really caring so I stop thinking about it.

The walk to the principal's office seems to go on forever. It actually feels like I'm walking inside a cage or something because of how all the students are staring at me. No one has dared to make any remarks but I rather they did that – It's always better to know what people are thinking than to walk around and imagining the worst. 'Liar' is probably one of those words that come to their minds when I walk by them. At first I did think it was a bit silly of me to believe that everyone would know…but I was right. Not much happens in a little town like this and when it does…well it sure beats talking about 'who kissed who at the last party'.

When I finally reach his office I knock three times on his door and it flings up almost immediately.

"Santana, step inside." Mr. Schuester says as he offers me a small smile. I do as I am told and actually take the liberty to slouch down in one of his seats.

"Yes, feel free to sit." He chuckles before he walks across the room and sits down behind his desk. "How does it feel to be back?"

"Um…It's…weird." I answer him with a shrug. Honestly, I'm kind of indifferent to the whole thing. There are so many good things about being back but there are probably just as many things that I would consider bad.

"Oh, well." The principal smiles before he reaches into his desk and pulls out a paper. My schedule, I guess. "Here," He then says as he hands it to me. "Same classes as before this whole…change….and I made sure to add another one as well."

"What did you add?" I mumble before my eyes focus on one of the afternoon activities. "Glee Club? No way!" I then let out as I stubbornly try to hand the paper back to him. He leans away from me with an awkward smile plastered on his face.

"That's what we agreed on before-"He starts but stops when I interrupt him.

"Technically…that wasn't me…_I _never agreed on anything." I shrug my shoulders at him but the just shakes his head.

"Well you did break our agreement about spending the weekend alone in your room…and it was either Glee or a call to your mom."

"Feel free to call her." I let out a bit desperately as he leans his head against his hands…A head filled with crazy ideas.

"It's too late for that now." He sighs before he picks up the schedule which I just placed on the desk. I frown at him for a moment and then I give up. "Your brother actually liked the idea of joining-"

"I'm nothing like my brother, okay." I say before I snatch my schedule back from him and stand up. "I'll find my way out." I then add before I take the short couple of steps it takes to reach the door and then I'm out.

* * *

I wander alone in the empty corridors for God knows how long before I realize that it's probably for the best to head to whatever class I'm supposed to be in.

First class goes by surprisingly fast…maybe because I was about 40 minutes late or because it was home economics and the teacher couldn't be less motivated. She lets us listen to music and goof around most of the time. I didn't do much 'goofing' around – I was busy texting with Richie about mom. I'm glad she's OK after all that happened but it wouldn't hurt to hear that she's sorry. Richie told me that he is about to move out. Not because of mom…but because he wants to move on with his life and I understand that. I feel a bit sorry for mom though…she has never lived alone….not even one day of her life.

The clock's just a bit after 10.00 when I run into Brittany next to my new locker. Well, I don't exactly run into her…she's waiting there for me. She's wearing her cheerios uniform…like usual, but her hair isn't in a ponytail, it's loose. I can't help but smile when I see her.

"Hi," She says when I'm close enough to hear. "Are you tired?"

"No, not really – are you?" I answer as I open the locker to inspect it. It's a bit rusty; like everything else in this place.

"No, I'm fine…I'm aaaall good." She giggles a little before she looks down at the floor and bites her lip.

"Okay," I chuckle before I close my locker and turn to look at her. "What is it?" I smile and she starts to wave it off, but she lets out a sigh instead.

"We have literature now," She starts and I nod. "Well, you aren't Lysander anymore." She then adds with a sad tone.

"Who am I?" I wonder before I hook my arm through hers and start walking towards the classroom.

"…Titania." Brittany says with her nose scrunched. She's cute.

"Oh," I say but I'm actually not that surprised. I actually thought that they'd be done with this whole theater part by now. "I think I'll survive."

* * *

"Hello, Hugo- no – I mean…Santana? And good morning, Brittany." Mrs. Sanders says as we step into the empty classroom. "I'm sorry…it's just a bit too much for my old mind to take. But it's nice seeing you again."

"It's OK." I say with a chuckle. "I – I actually read your book…about the poems." She smiles when I say this. Score, I think. Because I'm pretty sure I just won her heart…her proud- teacher- heart.

I actually did read the book, that wasn't some spontaneous lie I just told. Every day, when my mother was refusing to talk to me, I locked myself inside my room and spent hours, just lying on the bed, reading. Some days Tina and Mercedes would come over and interrupt me and they always had to tear the book away from me. They said that I… and I quote: "[…] spend way too much time inside being miserable when you could be out having fun!" But I liked reading that book. I liked being alone. I even liked being miserable…it reminded me that I was alive.

"Brilliant!" She exclaims as she clasps her hands together. "Now, do you understand why I gave it to you?" Our teacher smiles smugly as she carefully moves her body from the blackboard to the chair behind her desk.

"Um, I- I," I stammer out as I try to recall at least one of the poems I read. "No?"

"No?" She asks me a bit surprised and then she nods her head a couple of times. "What's the book about?"

I frown a bit at her before I turn to look at Brittany who's just standing next to me looking like a question-mark.

"Poetry…" I answer but it comes out sounding more like a question.

"Yes? And what is poetry about?" Mrs. Sanders smiles just as a couple of students enter the classroom. I take a step towards her so that the conversation can be kept somewhat personal.

"It's about…feelings and emotions? Poetry is…not something you can define-"I mumble because I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this. Thankfully I don't have to go very far because Mrs. Sanders interrupts me with a smile.

"To define poetry," She smiles. "It can be a tricky matter. Some say that poetry is an overflow of powerful emotions; while others say that everything that's poetic is something…beautiful. That makes you go 'Ah- ha' and 'aw'. But what is beauty? Like John Keats said: Beauty is-"She then adds and now it's my turn to interrupt her.

"- Beauty is truth. Truth, beauty." I say with a frown and when I finally realize what she has been trying to say, I can't help but let out a surprised gasp. "You knew?!"

Mrs. Sanders nods her head at me with a proud smile as I stare at her in chock.

"All along…all this time….and you never said anything, why?" I let out and she shakes her head at me. That woman may be old and grey but her mind is fascinating and when I look at her, I don't see an old person, I look at her eyes, and they look just like mine. They are youthful, full of life and hope. She looks at me with a warm smile as she stands up to narrate the whole class.

"Beauty can also be mystery." I know that she's talking to me, and only me, and I know what she's saying…the rest of the class look like lost puppies- so confused.

I walk over to the chair next to Brittany and sits down. How did she know? I wonder because really, I have no idea. I never said anything in her presence that would give me away.

"Female intuition." The teacher then lets out and students start to look at one another with quizzical expression, asking each other if their teacher has gone mad. I offer her a small smile and she nods.

"What book were you talking about?" Brittany asks me quietly and I reach into my bag to pull it out. I put it on the desk right in front of her.

"Mrs. Sanders gave it to me before." I say before I carefully reach over to her lap to take her hand. I hold it under the desk for a while. "You can take it if you want." I then add and she shakes her head.

"No, it's yours…but maybe you could…I dunno…read it to me sometime?"

"It has about 1500 pages!" I let out with a chuckle. "But I can read some of it. "

* * *

When the class starts each group is free to do whatever they need to do…as long as it has something to do with the Shakespeare project. My group decides to go outside to practice our lines since no one but Artie knows them without using the script.

* * *

Later that day, when I have lunch, Brittany has cheerleading practice so I decide to head to the cafeteria alone. I'm starving and the cafeteria food is not that bad. There's no line to the salad bar so I go there as soon as I enter the room.

My whole plate is almost filled with lettuce and cucumber when I turn around to go for the garlic dressing. I don't make it all the way to the dressing because something that I see makes me freeze. Not out of fear or chock or any of those kinds of things. I freeze because Rachel is standing there, just a couple of feet away.

"I heard you came back." She says before she takes a step forward so that another student can reach the glasses that are placed on a giant table behind her together with a large selection of drinks.

"Yeah," I say and look down at my plate. "I was gonna look for you…after school."

"Why?" She asks me a bit too quickly.

"To talk…I have this whole 'I'm sorry' speech prepared." I offer her a shy smile and she looks down at the ground.

"I met your brother." Rachel says after a moment. "He stopped by at Glee Club – he's a great singer."

"Yeah…" I say as I take a step forwards so that I'm standing in front of her. "Do you want to sit…with me, and eat?" I then add as I look down at my plate. "We could talk about-"

"No." She lets out and I immediately stop talking. "I've already eaten…and I have a black-student-meeting that I have to attend."

"If you don't want to hang out with me I prefer if you'd tell me instead of making up lies…you are not even black."

"I'm not lying and I don't feel like talking to you because I don't even know _you." _

"Fine, I don't even care." I shrug it off as I walk past her to get to one of the free tables at the back of the room.

"I couldn't care less!" She shouts after me but barely loud enough to draw any unwanted attention to herself… Except that she loves getting attention so all the attention is wanted. "Just walk away – you are good at it."

* * *

I slouch down at one of the chairs and push away my plate along the table. I don't want it anymore. I lost my appetite.

"Sitting alone?" Someone says and I don't have to look up from my lap to know who it is. "Have you talked to coach?"

"No, Puck….I've been busy." I answer him with a shrug. "What am I supposed to say anyway?"

"Ask to get a spot on the team again! She already knows that you can do it." He says as he reach over for the plate that I pushed away and starts eating.

"It's not that simple." I sigh as he bites into a piece of cucumber and nod. "I'll just have to accept that my place at this school is going to be in Glee Club…"

"Glee?" Puck chuckles but stops when he sees how serious I am. "Jeez…Mr. Schuester does not like you."

"More like despise…Anyway - how are you?" I offer him a small smile as I place my head in one of my hands.

"I'm cool… Quinn won't talk to me…but other than that, everything is as normal as it can be."

"Quinn won't talk to you?"

"No, she thinks I like you…in a not so sisterly way." He groans in frustration as he uses the fork to stab another piece of cucumber. I don't even like cucumber.

"Sorry, I-"

"But she's your roommate? Can you talk to her?" He looks at me with a pleading expression and I nod my head before I agree. "Thank you…my roommate is a shithead, by the way. At least Quinn is cool."

"Your roommate is my brother." I chuckle and he nods.

"He is still a shithead." He grins.

"Hugo thinks you're an ass." I tell him before I stand up to leave.

"Hey!" Puck lets out, faking being hurt. "Your brother is a mean shithead."

"I couldn't agree more."

* * *

The school day moves by in a slow pace and when the day is finally over I fall into my bed, head first. Quinn's nowhere to be seen. I think Brittany mentioned another hour of cheerleading practice after school. Brittany told me that she'd go home and eat before she comes back to hang out. So Quinn is probably at practice.

I don't feel like taking a nap, no matter how tired I might be. I want to unpack my stuff before Brittany comes here so that she knows how serious I am about staying.

I walk over to the small drawer by the edge of my bed and I fill it with my clothes. I don't fold them or place them in a certain order…I just press them in there. It was good enough for Puck, so I bet it's good enough for me.

After that I walk into the bathroom and place all the rest of my stuff in there. Quinn has make- up and other beauty products spread out all over the sink and I have to move some of her stuff to make room for mine. I am just about to leave when I notice something about my reflection. I have changed. Not only from the last time I was here, obviously, because I looked like a boy then – but I have changed since I got back here. My reflection is smiling… Well it was. Not it has gone back to looking dead and slightly uncomfortable.

Do you ever just stare into a mirror? Really stare at yourself? Have you stared for so long that suddenly you forget who you are and why you exist? Does your heart beat faster as you wonder: Is this me? Do I control this body? And do you stop looking at your reflection and look down at your hands instead? Because it suddenly strikes you: Are these my hands? Because that's what I'm doing right now; looking at my hands.

I must look rather weird…like I just had a hand transplant or something along those lines.

"What...er... are you doing?" A voice suddenly distracts me from my mind and I immediately stop looking at my hands. Quinn is standing a couple of feet away, still in her uniform, leaning against the doorframe. "Are you ok?" She then adds because I still haven't made a sound.

"Yeah, yeah…I'm fine." I then say with a small smile. "I was just putting my stuff in here."

"Ok…" Quinn says as she walks past me to stand in front of the mirror as well. "I hate having my hair like this." She then says before she removes the ponytail and shakes her head a little so that the hair falls neatly around her head.

"I'll give you some space." I mumble before I take a last peak at myself in the mirror and heads for the door.

* * *

I sit down by the edge of my bed and inhales deeply. The phone in my pocket vibrates because it's about to run out of battery and it's kind of the phones way to cry out: Feed me. So I place it in the charger.

"So," Quinn smiles when she comes out of the bathroom a couple of moments later. She's all clean and fresh from the shower she just took. "What do you want to so now?" She then adds as she sits down on her bed. "I'm thinking…scrabbles."

"Cool…" I nod as I move a bit further up in my bed to make room for the gamepad and Quinn. She kneels down on the floor and grabs the game from a trunk which is placed underneath her bed. Quinn then sits down at the edge of my bed and I start preparing everything for the game.

"I bought this game two years ago when I first started here…I thought I'd play this game with my roommate, but I never did and then I didn't have one."

"You had a roommate?" I ask her as I fix one of my pillows so that I can lean against the head of my bed without hurting my back.

"Yeah, her name was Kitty. She wasn't very nice and well…I got her to quit."

"You got her to quit?" I repeat but change my tone so that it sounds like a question.

"Yeah, she was a bully and bullies aren't allowed at this school." Quinn answers before she starts the game.

"Oh," I let out because I can never imagine someone bullying Quinn. "But hey, you are playing with your roommate now."

"Yay! Finally." Quinn giggles and I shake my head at her. She's not a bad person, Quinn, I think people just assume she's a total bitch and she's just forced to live up to their expectations.

* * *

15 minutes or so into the game there's a knock on the door but we're both laughing too hard over something to hear it. There's another knock a few seconds later which Quinn acknowledges.

"Come in!" She shouts and the door opens a little. Brittany's head is the first thing I see and I greet her with a huge smile. "Oh, hi…" Quinn lets out as she sits up a bit straighter.

"Hey!" I chuckle. "Quinn and I were just playing some scrabble – want to join?" I ask her but she shakes her head a little and sits down in Quinn's bed instead.

"Um, you never told me you were sharing room with Quinn." Brittany says after a while and I frown a little.

"I didn't?"

"No…" She looks down at her hands for a second before she shakes her head. "But that's nice…fun."

"Yeah," I answer with a smile because yes, it is fun. "Are you sure you don't want to join in on the fun?" I then add motioning for the game.

Quinn focuses her attention on the game as Brittany walks our way and sits down next to me.

"No, I'm good. I can watch." She smiles at me so I lean into her and kisses her cheek.

In the corner of my eye I can see Quinn staring at us the entire time and it makes me feel uneasy again.

* * *

**Okay so, next week I'll be busy taking tests**** and hopefully I'll ace them and get my driver's license. But I will update the week after that**

**I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoy reading all of your comments! You are all so awesome and encouraging.**

* * *

I LOVE YOU:)


	16. Chapter 16

**I wish I was better at keeping promises. I don't think that a 'sorry' even begins to describe my regrets. But I am, very sorry. **

**I meant to make this far longer but this is sadly the LAST CHAPTER. It is another time jump….but you shouldn't have any problems in following. **

**The reason why I cannot continue this is because I am moving to the UK soon. To work. I am so fucking scared. Gonna be all alone. Kill me. ;P **

**So for the last time: ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

A door closes, creating an echo through the entire building. Someone walks past the door. I continue hearing the footsteps for a while. I place my foot down on the floor and bring the other one up to the bench. Another door opens. But this time I don't bother to look up. I rest my head against my knee as I tie my shoe for the tenth time this day. Everything is fixed. My shoes have been tied, my hair has been placed in a ponytail, my socks has been pulled up and folded right beneath my knees, the shorts has been washed with very strong bleach (they look brand new now) and the shirt…I've been wearing the shirt since I woke up this morning. Everything is fixed. Yet, it feels so wrong.

"Are you OK?" A voice shakes me away from my thoughts as my head perks up. "You look very nervous."

I absentmindedly place both of my feet on the floor and sit up straight as Brittany closes the door behind her and walks over to kneel down in front of me.

"I'm shaking." I let out after a while and she reaches her hand up to place a couple of loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"You'll be fine!" She assures me as she gets up to sit next to me on the bench instead.

"I hope so…" I utter right before another door closes in the building and I nearly jump out of my seat. They'll be coming to get me soon.

"I know so." Brittany whispers, making me turn to look at her. "Coach Beastie wouldn't have let you back on the team if she didn't believe in you." True.

"I know…but I'm still so….I don't even know what to do with myself I'm just-"Brittany silences me with a small peck. And when her lips leave mine I let out a big breath. I wasn't even aware that I was holding it.

"Better?" She asks me a bit playfully as she traces her thumb across my chin and up to my cheek.

"Hmm?" I mumble before I place my hand on top of hers. "A little…." I then add as I tilt my head a bit, waiting for her to kiss me again. She leans in painfully slowly and I don't close my eyes until I feel her lips touch mine. My hand slowly starts a journey from resting on hers to the back of her head. I pull her closer. I pull her on top of me and she giggles.

"How about now, it's much better, right?" She whispers into my ear before she places one sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"Yeah…" I chuckle as I draw a little circle on her bare leg. "Wow."

"Are you okay with what happened last night?" She suddenly blurts out. And I can't stop the giant smile it instantly puts on my face. It's like she can kiss my body with her lips, but my soul with her words. And If I didn't know better I'd think I was blushing on the inside now.

"Yes…" I chuckle as I look at her mouth and the smile she is trying to hide. "And I will…you know…" I then add as I let my eyes fall down to my hand drawing little circles on her lap. "…I will do it…if we win today, I will." This makes her get off me with a bright smile.

"That's another reason for me to cheer on you." She smiles just as the door flings open.

"Game starts in 10, everyone are dressed so you can come into our dressing room now." Puck says and just before the door is about to close he push it open again. "Oh and Brittany…the cheerios are out there doing a pre-game number."

"Oh!" She lets out before she bends down to give me a quick kiss. Puck holds the door open for her as she jogs out of the room. I look out the window and watch as she runs up to her team and just like that she melts into their routine and I lose my focus.

"I said: You can come into us now." Puck says and I let out a big breath as I stand up. He throws an arm around me as we walk through the empty and quiet corridor. "I wasn't eavesdropping but I think I overheard you telling Brit that-"He starts but stops when I shake his arm off me and tells him to 'Shut up'. "Am I right though? Did you do it? Was it hot?"

"Can you not?!" I push him away from me with a blush as the event of the previous night goes through my mind like a movie.

* * *

It was late. Brittany had invited me over to her place to play some games, watch some movies, and eat some food- to have a great time. But then her parents left and suddenly we came to realization that we were all alone.

"They aren't coming back until the morning." Brittany had let out in the middle of a heated make out session. It made me freeze…and melt, at the same time. "What?" She had stopped attacking my jawline with kisses when she felt the tension in my body.

Instead of replying I sat up and pulled my sweater over my head. She looked at me with that expression that only she can manage. And I leaned in and kissed her. Brittany was worried that I was getting cold so she kept asking 'are you freezing?' but I wasn't. I had never felt warmer. I know she was feeling warm too cause her face had gone from pale to pinkish red in only a couple of minutes.

"We can stop." She had let out as her hand was hovering right over the clasp of my bra.

"I don't want to." I said as I sat up and reached my hands behind my back. I let my bra fall down and it landed on her stomach. Even though I know I should have felt naked and exposed…I didn't. I just can't feel awkward around her.

Brittany sat up too. Her hands were placed on my lower back and with a small smile she began to move them upwards. I shivered. When they reached my shoulders she stopped. But only for a short second. And then she continued moving them down my front. I closed my eyes and she kissed me. I didn't know what to do with my hands. She obviously did because she was already busy feeling my breasts. A little moan slipped out of my mouth and my hands quickly found their way to her hips.

"Are you sure?" Brittany bit her lip and when I nodded she held her arms up. Her white tank top just slid off her body. I can barely remember touching it. I barely remember taking my pants off either but suddenly they were lying on the floor. "Hold on." Brittany let out in a breath as she locked her arms around me and in a swift movement I was laying on my back. I laughed because I was getting nervous. She laughed too, but I think it was for another reason. Like me, making a weird sound as my back hit the matrass in her bouncy bed.

The laughter soon died because it's difficult to laugh when someone is kissing you. She sucked on my lower lip for a moment before she left my mouth and started to kiss her way from my chin down to my chest. She kneaded my breasts in her hands and right before she took my nipple in her mouth she looked at me…as if asking for permission. I nodded. But I wasn't sure what I agreed on. Whatever it was I just wanted her to touch me. I wanted her. I wanted everything with her.

My fingers got tangled in her hair but she didn't say anything. I wish I had been quiet but I think I was mumbling stuff. Brittany didn't stay on my chest forever. After a moment her hands slid away from my breasts, along my side, and ended up resting on my legs. She hooked her fingers through my black panties and slid them off. I pulled my legs up to help her.

"Take yours off too." I demanded. I tried to sound all confident but my voice was shaking. I sat up and undid the bottom on her jeans. She unhooked her bra as I pulled down her zipper. Talk about teamwork. She later helped me to take off her pants; her underwear went away with them.

"Just kiss me…" She whispered when she noticed my expression. I connected our lips, my arms swung around her neck. The bed bounced as I brought us down to a lying position, her body pressing mine down in the matrass. One of her hands made their way from my cheek, to my chest, to my stomach and stopped just above my tingling center. She played with me…the way I imagine she plays with herself. I was so tense I could have come right there and then but something stopped me. I wanted it to last longer.

Her fingers were soon replaced with her tongue and in me awakened something I didn't know I had. A feeling I didn't know existed.

With only a few strokes and kisses my body tensed up and the breath I was holding was released with a moan. I pressed her head against me and when I finally let her go I was laughing.

"Oh my…God." I chuckled as she crawled her way up my body again.

"That was easy." She joked and I playfully hit her arm. "Shh… I know. I'm THAT good." I smiled at her but after a few seconds I turned serious again. "Oh, no worries." She added and I frowned at her. "You don't have to…not tonight."

So I didn't.

* * *

Puck tugging at my arm stops the movie in my head from playing.

"It's in here…" He says with raised eyebrows. "You just kept walking."

"I was thinking." I mutter out in defense because I know where the guys changing room is.

"About?" He asks and before I get a chance to answer his mouth forms a small 'o' and starts laughing. I ignore him and enter the room instead.

* * *

"Hey! I'm not a drug addict!" Finn shouts to Sam as I walk inside. Everyone else stops talking when I enter the room.

"Thanks" Coach mouths to me and I answer her with a shrug.

"Finally you've quieted down." She speaks up. "Okay, time to go through the game plan."

"Well, well, our captain finally showed up." Jesse lets out and Coach Beastie turns to look at him with the most annoyed expression you'll ever see.

"I'm not captain." I tell him a bit irritated and he rolls his eyes.

"No, Finn is. But we can't have a drug addict as the team captain now, can we?" Jesse mutters.

"I'm not on drugs!" Finn shouts.

"Shut up!" Beastie yells. Throwing the pen she's holding on the floor only inches away from Finn's feet. "No talking and give me my damn pen!" Finn almost dives down on the floor to retrieve it for her. "Now, let's talk soccer."

"Where's Joe?" Sam asks after less than 5 seconds of complete silence. This makes Coach Beastie turn around; staring at him with the anger of a thousand bulls. "Never mind" He then adds looking down on the blue tile floor.

"Our most important game is about to start in….holy cow…three minutes." Beastie picks up a small white towel from the bench behind her and wipes her face. "Let's just…let's go out there and do our best."

Everyone nods in unison as we stand up to leave the room. Before we leave Coach clears her throat. "Finn," she then lets out with a sigh. "Give your captain tag to Puck." Finn doesn't question it any further. And Puck looks pleased as he slides it up his arm.

* * *

I come to an instant halt right before we are about to enter the field because someone taps my shoulder. I know who it is without looking because I only know one person who sneaks up behind people. "Rachel?" I say as I turn around and I don't get an answer. She hugs me tightly and I smile into it. "You came!" I smile when she lets go of me.

"Yes…my father made it very clear that he would disown me if I didn't." She chuckles. "And I wanted to see this."

"That's…that's super…super great." I grin. "After all, I helped you win sectionals with Glee Club you kind of owe it to me to cheer on me."

"Yes…and I'll gladly do it." She smiles before she takes a step back. "Aaaaaaaaaand Hugo might have invited me to watch this with him."

"Is that so?" I ask but I'm not surprised.

"It is so… He has the most awesome voice," She lets out scanning the bleachers for him. "….I mean, so do you. Not even half as brilliantly astonishing as mine…but it's okay."

"Thanks Rach." I say before I pat her shoulder and runs out to take my place on the field.

"Break a leg!" She shouts after me.

The cheerios are lined up next to the field and when my eyes meet Brittany's she blows me a kiss. I blow one back. Quinn jokingly pretends to steal itand Brittany pouts at her. Quinn hands it back to her with a chuckle. No hard feelings. Being roommate with Quinn turns out to have been a good decision after all.

A whistle blows. And the game starts.

* * *

**HAPPY NEW YEAR. I hope this chapter gave you some sense of an 'end' :D LOVE YOU ALL *ALL THE KISSES AND HUGS IN THE WORLD***


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